body image issue-please help

MrsC102211 · April 2011

Hi everyone,

So basically when I met my FI I was slightly thinner. I am 5-1 and weigh now 150 lbs. I'm not too proud of my 10 lb weight gain, but it's taking a bigger tole on my self esteem than i thought it would.

I am starting to get really concious of my body- especially my stomach area- in front of my fiance. I know he doesn't care, and loves me for who I am, but I won't even feel comfortable in front of him naked, etc,. Were getting married in 6 months and I'm nervous for the honeymoon etc. A lot of this stems down from being teased in jr high/high school and I don't know how to cope with this. Anyone have any advice?

Thank you so much in advance

kmartini1021 · April 2011

So I know this is an odd suggestion since you don't feel comfortable undressed, but I would recommend doing a boudoir photoshoot for your FI. Hire an experienced photographer who can position you in flattering poses, bring some wine or champagne with you to loosen up, and just go crazy!

I was feeling really self conscious about myself but a friend talked me into doing a pampering and boudoir session and I was thrilled with the result. Not only is this a fun way to boost your own confidence, but it'll make a great (and completely unexpected) gift for FI!

MyWedding13 · April 2011

I agree with PP about the shoot! Also, no matter what I weigh, I noticed that if I work out at least twice a week, I feel healthy and strong, even when I am heavier. Maybe walking or doing cardio afew times a week will help make you feel better, you know...endorphins

feinicstine · April 2011

I agree with both PP's. I'm thinking about doing a boudoir shoot and I have the worst self esteem on earth. I just know that in 50 years having something like that to look back on will be awesome. Plus, FI's eyes will probably fall out his head. It's not the normal type of thing for me to do.

On a more serious note, exercise will help with this. It doesn't have to be intense and it doesn't have to make you drop some insane amount of weight, but just getting out there and moving does wonderful things. You'll get stronger and healthier and you'll feel it. Just starving yourself to lose weight doesn't make you really appreciate your body like exercise does (aside from being all kinds of bad for you).

Jade0085 · April 2011

I know the feeling! I am working on losing some weight and was much thinner when I met my FI. Exercise completely helps your body image and attitude. The more you work at it the more you'll want to show off your hard work!

michael+sarah · April 2011

I feel the EXACT same way. I was about 10 pounds lighter when I met my FI. It doesn't sound like much, but it makes a big difference in how I view myself. I've been struggling since we got engaged to get motivated to lose the weight. This weekend I had a mental breakthrough. I feel so fed up with "I'm starting my diet on Monday" and then failing during the week, that I've decied to accept no more excuses. The bottom line is that you have to do it for yourself - not for him or for the wedding. I have made a promise to myself that I need this for me.

Just take it one day at a time. If you mess up, get right back on the wagon and keep going.

natbug21 · April 2011

Everyone here has fantastic ideas! I would listen to them

I am heavier then when my fiance and I met but I know I am working on it so that helps me be ok with it. I would reccommend when you are feeling bad about yourself talk yourself up a bit. Tell yourself how awesome you are! Sounds cheesy but it can work!

KellySpearsToBe · April 2011

Yes Yes Yes on the photo shoot! I've always had self-esteem issues. My fiance and I were dating long-distance in the beginning of our relationship, and I had a photo shoot, and I felt amazing! He absolutely loved them when he received them for Christmas that year!

Also, I try to remember that I am my own worst critic. Don't be too hard on yourself. I know it's hard, but keep working toward your goals, and you'll get there!

Lobsters25 · April 2011

Exercise and ditch the scale. The exercise will make you feel better, and you'll see a change in yourself much quicker than you will if you are relying on the scale to show you the difference. A couple days at the gym and no scale make a world of difference for me when I hit those bumps.

Queen Jane · April 2011

Everyone's got really great ideas for you. Just wnated to let you know that you are not alone. I am currently 27 pounds heavier than when FI and I started dating, possibly more. It sucks, but I'm working hard to get back to where I was, or as close as I can come to it. Working out as much as my schedule allows and eating clean really do help me feel better about myself.

feelslikeadream · April 2011

Walk a few times a week for at least half an hour or do a workout video. Just the fact you are doing something will boost your self esteem.

I deal with body image issues to but I have gotten better when I do exercise because I feel better/more in shape.

Actually I am about 30 pounds smaller than when I met FI and still have about 30 at the max to go. But it doesn't matter I still always feel self concious if I'm not doing some kind of excercising.

I feel that if walking or working out for at least 30 minutes a day keeps the negative voices about myself away it's worth it, kind of like a daily medicine.

JustineOlivia · April 2011

I agree about fitness--working out consistently creates wonderful changes in ANY body.

And confidence is soo sexy--it doesn't matter what your weight is, if you carry it well (with your attitude, posture, etc.)--your FI is going to find that incredibly attractive.

alaniserica1 · April 2011

I love the fact that I am not alone in this. Although I hate to hear people feel self consious about their bodies, it's good to know that you're not alone. I am the first of my generation in my whole family to get married, I have nothing but single friends and it seems no one is there to vent to. I too am about 5'1 and weigh about 17lbs more than when I met my FI. Granted I am only 123lb but I have been feeling so self consious and every Monday I say "this is it...I have to lose weight" but I never stick to it, by weds i give up. I think I am going to give the 30 in workouts 3 times a week a try. Hope it works! I only have 2 months to go so I need fast result! On second thought I might have to crank it up a notch more.

body image issue-please help

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