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June 2012 Weddings
June 2012 August Siggy Challenge: Favourite Pro Pic (I couldn't choose just one!)
Honeymoon Registries
So I think there are very mixed opinions on this topic generally, but I thought I'd post on here anyways to see what people think of Honeymoon Registries. The #1 thing FI and I love to do together is travel. We met while travelling and it is definitely our biggest passion.
We are having a destination wedding so we can't really afford to do a honeymoon so we were toying with the idea of a honeymoon registry. We will be flying to Australia in January for FBIL's wedding, and so we really wanted to stop in the Cook Islands for a short honeymoon on the way over. I know a lot of people think of this as asking people to pay for your "sex vacation" (which really isn't what our honeymoon would be about for us) but we really just don't need anything else. We bought our first place together 3 years ago and have everything we need/want/can fit in our apartment so we really don't have anything we can put on a conventional registry.
Thoughts on honeymoon registries?? Or any other ideas for non-conventional registries??
PS: if this has already been discussed on here, please feel free to direct me to the thread!
June 2012 August Siggy Challenge: Favourite Pro Pic (I couldn't choose just one!)
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Honeymoon Registries
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[QUOTE]I DETEST them. That's all I'm saying. I really don't want to get in a big huge discussion/argument about them.
Posted by kelsey+brandon[/QUOTE]
agree 100%. Don't want this to get blown out of proportion but it's rude to ask people for $$ in any form
Various places like "Honeyfund" will TELL your guests that they're purchasing a night's stay, or a massage, or slippers for you, but what they're really doing is forking over cash, which the business gets a cut of, and then you get to spend it on whatever. I find this tacky. If my guest wants to give me $100 for my honeymoon, I should not only be receiving $80. That's absurd, and it's ripping off both the gift-giver and the gift-receiver.
However, some hotels will allow you to set up a "registry" if you have ALREADY booked your honeymoon with them. I personally do not have as much of a problem with this because there is no "middle-man" to take a cut. When your guest offers to pay for a night's stay in a room, they really are paying for one night in your room. They really are paying for a nice dinner, or a massage. However, this is also risky if you are relying on your guests to fund this, because it means that you have committed to this vacation already and will be footing the bill for anything your guests don't pay for - which could be all of it, if your friends & family are uncomfortable with this idea.
In short, do what you want, but know that some of your guests may be offended by what you are asking, and that certain avenues will only give you a percentage of what they claim you're getting. While it's rude to ask for money straight-up, it is still possible to let your guests know via word-of-mouth that you have everything you need but would like to save up for your honeymoon, and perhaps a house or your new family afterward. This is a much kinder and gentler way to say, "Thanks, but we would prefer money" that your guests may interpret however they wish.
June 2012 August Siggy Challenge: Favourite Pro Pic (I couldn't choose just one!)
[QUOTE]The one we were looking at is through Flight Center and they just set up an account for you and people send money to it and then we get a Flight Center gift card in the end....no fees at all. Every penny our guests donate would put put into the account. I do agree though that it is still asking for money and that's where my reservations lie. Funny enough, our Aussie guests are all over the idea....guess it's quite popular over ther...but a lot of my parents more traditional friends from over here might really be offended by it. <strong>Other idea is maybe asking people to donate to a charity in lieu of gifts? </strong> The whole point is that we really don't need/want anything and we don't want our guests wasting their money on stuff that we will probably take back (mostly because we have no space for it!)
Posted by janeash[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>I believe this is also considered a faux pas because it is also asking for money, and people might not support that charity.
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[QUOTE]The one we were looking at is through Flight Center and they just set up an account for you and people send money to it and then we get a Flight Center gift card in the end....no fees at all. Every penny our guests donate would put put into the account. I do agree though that it is still asking for money and that's where my reservations lie. <strong>Funny enough, our Aussie guests are all over the idea....guess it's quite popular over ther...</strong>but a lot of my parents more traditional friends from over here might really be offended by it. Other idea is maybe asking people to donate to a charity in lieu of gifts? The whole point is that we really don't need/want anything and we don't want our guests wasting their money on stuff that we will probably take back (mostly because we have no space for it!)
Posted by janeash[/QUOTE]
Different cultures (including social circles in the US) have their own preferences and traditions regarding what is right and wrong. I don't want to tell you DON'T DO ONE, but I strongly suggest you consider what the majority of your guests will and will not find appropriate, and use that to help you make your decision.
You can't dictate what your guests buy for you. Registries are popular because gift-givers prefer to give something that they know the couple will want and use, but ultimately they are not even remotely required. Honestly, not setting up a registry at all usually clues people in to the idea that you'd prefer money, even if you don't say so directly - but they still have the option of purchasing an item for you if that's what they prefer to do.
June 2012 March Siggy Challenge: Honeymoon location
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Honeymoon Registries : agree 100%. Don't want this to get blown out of proportion but it's rude to ask people for $$ in any form
Posted by Ash61612[/QUOTE]
Agreed
Planning Bio: Updated January 25
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Dream Honeymoon/Actual Honeymoon Disneyworld
Ultimately, as long as the bride and groom aren't throwing a wedding looking to make money or exploit their guests, I don't see why it's so scandalous. I would think that the guests attending your wedding, if they feel like bestowing you with a gift, would want to get you something you actually want - as long as it isn't blood diamonds or child slaves, who is anyone to judge your choice? If they're too offended to select something from the honeymoon registry for you, they can elect to give you something else or nothing at all - if you're not expecting to get anything it really shouldn't matter. I assume you're not going to be screaming from the rooftops unsolicited that you have a registry and you want people to buy you stuff from it. But if someone asks you where you're registered, I don't think there is anything wrong with being honest and saying you prefer cash or whatever, because obviously people wouldn't ask if they weren't interested in getting you what you actually want.
I am not looking to start drama, I would just like someone to calmly and politely explain to me how this is such a cardinal sin compared to a regular old registry.
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[QUOTE]Here's the thread LOL <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_honeyfund_.0">http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_honeyfund_.0</a>
Posted by Megbo2012[/QUOTE]
Haha exactly the conversation I didn't want to get into again. ;)
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[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Honeymoon Registries : Haha exactly the conversation I didn't want to get into again. ;)
Posted by kelsey+brandon[/QUOTE]
<div>Haha I knew it, and just couldn't resist posting it. </div>
Dream Honeymoon/Actual Honeymoon Disneyworld
Honestly,everyone has their own strong opinions on this. I would say it depends on your friends and family and then how you feel about it.
Our honeymoon is already paid for but we registered for excursions.
[QUOTE]Wait, Honeyfund takes a portion of the gift? Is that just for CCD transactions, or cash & checks as well?
Posted by nicole1672[/QUOTE]
The only transaction fee is from paypal.
June 2012 August Siggy Challenge: Favourite Pro Pic (I couldn't choose just one!)