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Snarky Brides
kdlopez1631
member
mom adding to guest list...
My venue holds 200 MAX (its a small mansion built in the 1900's)
My guest list in currently 150 which is a very comfortable number for this venue
My mom is insisting I invite her aunts and cousins ((people who I dont know)) and its like 40 people! She and my father (divorced) are paying for the venue/food.
My FI cut back on his numbers to help with budget. If I invite all these people not only will seating be uncomfortable, the price will go up quite a bit for the extra dinner, cocktails, and apps.
I tried to explain this is not what we want, its not fair to my dad who will have almost none of his family there (he lives in texas, we live in indy)to spike up his total cost, yet she refuses to pay the extra for the people SHE wants there.
I know, money=strings. How do I defuse this situation?
My guest list in currently 150 which is a very comfortable number for this venue
My mom is insisting I invite her aunts and cousins ((people who I dont know)) and its like 40 people! She and my father (divorced) are paying for the venue/food.
My FI cut back on his numbers to help with budget. If I invite all these people not only will seating be uncomfortable, the price will go up quite a bit for the extra dinner, cocktails, and apps.
I tried to explain this is not what we want, its not fair to my dad who will have almost none of his family there (he lives in texas, we live in indy)to spike up his total cost, yet she refuses to pay the extra for the people SHE wants there.
I know, money=strings. How do I defuse this situation?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: mom adding to guest list...
Plus she's paying, so. There's that.
ETA - Okay, I just realized that I skipped the part where she refuses to pay for extra people. You gotta just tell her that since she wants these people there, and that there is room for them, that's fine - only if she's going to pay.
If she's paying, though, she gets to invite who she wants (excluding any extenuating circumstances). In my case, though, I just had to remind my mom that the venue simply would not hold that many people and it's not me determining that, it's the fire marshall.
But if your venue holds 200 and you're at 150, you've got some room to add. If your dad has an issue with it, he should be the one talking to your mom about it.
My mom practically had more friends at my wedding than I did because my parents were paying for it, but they were all on the dance floor shaking it and it ended up being a ton of fun!
"I'm also concerned about whether our guests will feel crammed in if we are so close to the venu capacity. I'm sorry, but if you want to invite additional guests you will need to either pay for them or cut your previous list to accommodate them."
Also warn your dad if you think she may contact him to tell him to pay for these guests.
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