5 Rules That Will Instantly Fix Every Wedding Problem You Have
1. It absolutely boggles the mind to see people with a guest list of 300 and a budget of $5,000. Are you freaking kidding me? Why do that to yourself? Cut the guest list to 10. Seriously. Parents, siblings, and you. Then give them the best party they've ever had. You don't even know 300 people, and no, the mailman and your third grade teacher do not count. Your wedding is not the "social event of the season"; not everybody has to be there.
2. You are not Martha Stewart. You should not cook your own wedding food (if you expect the guests to actually eat.) You should not make your own cake or cupcakes. You should not ask anyone else to do so, unless you're paying them. Seriously, hire professionals.
3. If every day brings another problem with your FMIL, your mom, bridesmaids, and/ or vendors, the problem is you. You're a Bridezilla and you need to chill the F out.
4. You get one wedding. Not a quicky courthouse wedding, followed by a "real" wedding a month or a year later. If you are tempted to do this, consider this question: why not get married every month? Or every day? When you finally stumble on the right answer, you'll realize you've been a selfish jerk and change your ways.
5. There is no “great venue with a view” at a “reasonable price”. The reason things are expensive is because everyone wants one, and the vendor can charge more for it. If you really want excellence, prepare to pay for it. You don’t go to the Rolls Royce dealership and ask for something “stunning” at a bargain price. Likewise, you can’t expect to have an amazing loft space in NYC with a view of the skyline if you’re only willing to pay $1000. Won’t happen. Part of being an adult is accepting reality. If the reality is your budget does not allow you to afford the venue you dream of, you either need to increase your budget or change your dream. One is infinitely more malleable than the other.
Re: 5 Rules That Will Instantly Fix Every Wedding Problem You Have
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: 5 Rules That Will Instantly Fix Every Wedding Problem You Have : So this is just a general PSA? I hate you.
Posted by LingerLonger1[/QUOTE]
Welcome back Linger.
201 Invited
I get your point, and agree wiht mos tof this. But hte first one always bugs me and I read it on here a lot. Its not always that simple to just cut down the guest list, and YES people do have families that large. My dad is one of 11 children, there are 28 grandkids and half of them are married wiht childr4en of their own. And we are actually very close, my grnadma used ot have 3 Thanksgiving dinners so that everyone could attend at least one. My mom has 6 sisters and FI mother is one of 8. Although FI is not as close wiht his extended family, the family dynamic is such that everyone must be invited. FI also has 5 sibling and 12 nieces/nephews. So unless we ignore etiquette and dont invites SOs for people our guest list will be 300. (Although I am aware that this is not so doable with a 5k budget.)
[QUOTE]Avion, do you disagree with any of these things?
Posted by JaneAustensGhost[/QUOTE]
<div>
</div><div>I don't really agree about 1, 2, and 5. Those issues are rarely as black and white as you make them out to be. The bottom line is that every wedding and every situation is different, and rarely will there ever be one piece of advice (let alone 5) that will apply to every single situation under the sun. </div>
I'm right there with you. We had about 250 with a budget of 6000. I guess I broke the number one rule.
[QUOTE]<strong>Because most people don't cheerfully accept their limitations. Because most people writing here are really asking how they can magically change those limitations</strong>, as if there is some super secret way to have a wedding for 300 at the Ritz in Paris while only spending $5000, including airfare. There isn't. Stage's attitude seems to be that she's quite happy with her choices and decisons. If others like Stage are happy with their choices, who live within their limitations and make it work for them, more power to them. If you're really able to make amazing cupcakes, do it. But don't complain that you're exhausted and that you forgot half the things you were supposed to do because the cupcakes took all your time. The point of every single one of the "rules" was was to live in reality since many people, especially those just starting their research, are engaging in magical thinking.
Posted by JaneAustensGhost[/QUOTE]
Because YOUR post is really going to fix all that?
It's weird that you call everyone's budgets here a limitation and that we all had to "live withn them" as if we all suffered because we didn't have $100K weddings.
H and I had an amazing wedding where our guests were well taken care of, enjoyed themselves and are still raving about the food. We had everything we wanted and stayed on budget. It was not a "limitation" for me.
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: 5 Rules That Will Instantly Fix Every Wedding Problem You Have : BRIDEZILLA!
Posted by LingerLonger1[/QUOTE]
I know, right? Clearly because I stayed within my budget and still got the things I wanted (without haggling) I am a horrible person. Shame on me.
Second of all, OP, here's why you're wrong on four out of five counts:
1. You absolutely can feed 300 people on $5000. Plenty of people in this thread have done it, so I don't really feel the need to belabor the point. If you meant "You can't have 300 people at the Ritz Carlton on a $5000 budget," then you should've said that instead.
1B. My wedding totally was "the social event of the season" in my family's circle. My parents have an extremely large, close-knit group of friends who have raised their children together for the last 30 years, and when one of us gets married, it's a BIG. DEAL. Everyone goes all out to attend everyone else's kids' weddings, and there are definitely hurt feelings when some are invited to weddings but not others. They care, and it matters. That's not me trying to be a super-cool speshul-snowflake, that's reality in my parents' social circle. Your circle is apparently small enough that "cut your list to 15 people" is possible for you, and that's cool, but that's not the solution for everyone; heck, it's not even possible for everyone to have an "immediate family only" list that's that small, depending on how many siblings/sets of parents/number of kids they have. If you'd rather feed 15 people caviar than 300 people hot dogs on a $5000 budget, have at it, but you can kiss the fattest part of my @ss if you think I should've cut over a hundred people who love me and wanted to see me get married from my guest list just because the full meal I offered them wasn't swank enough for your personal taste.
2. Isn't Martha Stewart actually Martha Stewart? So if she was getting married, she could bake her own cupcakes? What about people who are/are related to professional bakers or chefs? What about people who are just really darned good home cooks and enjoy cooking for people? Should they skip out on something they enjoy doing because you think that this kind of work should only be done by "professionals"?
3. Sure, you could be a bridezilla... or, you could happen to have a totally BSC family. This is a stupid blanket rule.
4. I'll concede on this one. Do-over "weddings" are squicky.
5. I have friends who got married in a room with a perfect view of the NYC skyline for $1000. (They had a friend living in a luxury condo building in Jersey City who hooked them up with the condo building's amazing party room for free, and they spent about $1000 on food for a cocktail-hour party.) Deals exist if you get creative.
So, yeah, 4 out of 5 of your "general rules" are cr@p. Also, you're a superior, snobbish brat and I don't like you. So there's that.
[QUOTE]First of all, here's the link to my awesomesauce flow-chart: <a href="http://share.pdfonline.com/0d5eccad4b1f40139d3013a4ca6a2bbf/Doc1.htm." rel="nofollow">http://share.pdfonline.com/0d5eccad4b1f40139d3013a4ca6a2bbf/Doc1.htm.</a> (OP, please note that my flow-chart actually does apply to everyone, unlike your preachy, holier-than-thou, useless list.) Second of all, OP, here's why you're wrong on four out of five counts: 1. You absolutely can feed 300 people on $5000. Plenty of people in this thread have done it, so I don't really feel the need to belabor the point. If you meant "You can't have 300 people at the Ritz Carlton on a $5000 budget," then you should've said that instead. 1B. My wedding totally was "the social event of the season" in my family's circle. My parents have an extremely large, close-knit group of friends who have raised their children together for the last 30 years, and when one of us gets married, it's a BIG. DEAL. Everyone goes all out to attend everyone else's kids' weddings, and there are definitely hurt feelings when some are invited to weddings but not others. They care, and it matters. That's not me trying to be a super-cool speshul-snowflake, that's reality in my parents' social circle. Your circle is apparently small enough that "cut your list to 15 people" is possible for you, and that's cool, but that's not the solution for everyone; heck, it's not even possible for everyone to have an "immediate family only" list that's that small, depending on how many siblings/sets of parents/number of kids they have. If you'd rather feed 15 people caviar than 300 people hot dogs on a $5000 budget, have at it, but you can kiss the fattest part of my @ss if you think I should've cut over a hundred people who love me and wanted to see me get married from my guest list just because the full meal I offered them wasn't swank enough for your personal taste. 2. Isn't Martha Stewart actually Martha Stewart? So if she was getting married, she could bake her own cupcakes? What about people who are/are related to professional bakers or chefs? What about people who are just really darned good home cooks and enjoy cooking for people? Should they skip out on something they enjoy doing because you think that this kind of work should only be done by "professionals"? 3. Sure, you could be a bridezilla... or, you could happen to have a totally BSC family. This is a stupid blanket rule. 4. I'll concede on this one. Do-over "weddings" are squicky. 5. I have friends who got married in a room with a perfect view of the NYC skyline for $1000. (They had a friend living in a luxury condo building in Jersey City who hooked them up with the condo building's amazing party room for free, and they spent about $1000 on food for a cocktail-hour party.) Deals exist if you get creative. So, yeah, 4 out of 5 of your "general rules" are cr@p. Also, you're a superior, snobbish brat and I don't like you. So there's that.
Posted by StephBeanWed61502[/QUOTE]
<a href="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/10/12/2ad3308d-1d70-411a-9c87-76d32e1e1e87.large.jpg" title="Click to view a larger photo" class="PhotoLink"><img style="width:265px;height:133px;" src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/10/12/2ad3308d-1d70-411a-9c87-76d32e1e1e87.medium.jpg" alt="" width="266" height="109" /></a>
[QUOTE]Steph, your family sounds a lot like our circle or theatre people. There was no way to cut our list down in any significant way without a LOT of hurt feelings from friends that we not only love but work with on a regular basis. So when the budget went from 10k to 5k, the ONLY things that werent negotiable were paying for the WP's attire because we already offered and cutting the guestlist. We moved freaking venues and ate a 900 deposit and changed the entire wedding plan, including time of day, to make sure we had the ability to properly host everyone.
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]
Glad I'm not the only one with a group of "family" like this. I was worried I was going to sound kind of like a twuntwaffle with that particular portion of my response, but it's the truth, so I went with it.
Side note, I have apparently used the word twuntwaffle often enough on my iPad that I have actually trained my iPad to recognize it as a real word.
I actually found a VERY nice venue, with everything included AND a waters view (actually was on the shore of the water)..for under $5,000- for over 100 people. Yup.
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_5-rules-that-will-instantly-fix-every-wedding-problem-you-have?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:e3a04b47-0b0f-406a-8b43-86144fb501f6Post:24ebc252-f72b-4250-a5a1-6f760bef54c1">Re: 5 Rules That Will Instantly Fix Every Wedding Problem You Have</a>:
[QUOTE]Wow...this was pretty...crazy to say the least. Reading all of these posts, I was just smh and so glad that I didnt post something like this. I actually found a VERY nice venue, with everything included AND a waters view (actually was on the shore of the water)..for under $5,000- for over 100 people. Yup.
Posted by WonderfulSavior[/QUOTE]
Our venue was really high quality, but since I live in a really low population state, it was like 1,200.00