HI everyone!
I just wanted to get some feedback on how you would handle this situation...
My little sister (also my MOH) just found out she's pregnant. She's only 21 and the baby is def. a "surprise"

I still want her to walk down the isle and continue in her role as MOH but my problem is with the b
achelorette party. We'll be going to the beach for the weekend and most likely will be hitting a lot of bars and just having a good time. She's stated more than once that she doesn't care if she'll be 8 mon. pregnant she's still coming to the party and will dance all night! The problem is I'm afraid she'll get catty looks and mean comments shot her way all night b/c she will be very obviously young and pregnant at the time. Should someone who's 8 mon. pregnant be hanging out in bars all weekend? Am I making way too much out of this?? Should she come to the shore and just not do the bar thing?? I don't know why this is stressing me out so much=) I guess I just don't want her to be uncomfortable all night...like right now she's fine with the idea but she's not even showing yet! lol. What do you all think?
Re: Sister will be 9 months pregnant.....
Posted by Tatarelli1[/QUOTE]
She's a grown woman, so let her decide whether she'll be comfortable being at bars. Unless she is going to smoke filled bars frequently throughout her pregnancy, I don't see an issue. And not all states even allow smoking in bars anymore.
If there are catty looks and mean comments because she's young and pregnant, that's not going to really change whether or not she is in a bar. If she's old enough to be in a bar, she's not <em>that</em> young anyhow. She can DD and carry no drink or a drink that is obviously non-alcoholic if she is worried about people thinking that she is drinking and pregnant.
Planning/Married Biology
Infertile, living childfree, advocating like a BOSS
I'm in the same situation, MY Sis/MOH will be over 8 months pregnant at our wedding. She also plans to participate in everything we do, in fact she's planning it (including going out to bars). I would hate for her not to be there. She's the most important person in my life and her being absent would ruin the experience for me.
I suggest being open to sis attending everything. Let her decide how she's feeling and if she's up to it. She may think she'll be a ball of energy now but if this is her 1st baby, she probably isn't going to know how she'll feel until the day of. I'd just have a backup plan in case she gets tired while you're out and wants to head back to the hotel early (get her a cab and have a backup DD).
As for the possible stares and comments, I would hope most people would be smart enough (I know, I'm an optimist) to realize that a pregnant women has probably been highly educated by her doctor on the dangers of drinking alcohol during pregnancy and that just because she's in a bar, doesn't necessarily mean she's drinking. In fact, instead of obvious non-alcoholic drinkks, I hope my sister drinks virgin versions all night. If someone does have the balls to say something to her, I will just responded as sweet as possible "It's really not any of your business but come on, have some common sense. She's pregnant not stupid".
My BM was 8 months pregnant at my wedding and went to bars. No one gave her looks. It was obvious it was a celebration with the amount of people around. I'm sure no one gave it a second thought.
Even if you did want to do something about it, what would you say? These kinds of questions make me shake my head, because even if you did make an issue of it, how would you go about it? Say, "Sis, everybody is going to think you're a total hag for coming to the bars at 9 months pregnant, so you can't come. Have fun sitting at home!"
No, you wouldn't do that and there's no way to do it without sounding like a heifer.
(Married)meganandshane.weebly.com~
(Planning)shaneandmegan.weebly.com
I think you should be more concerned with whether or not she WANTS TO or CAN walk down the aisle and be your MOH than not wanting her to come to the bparty.
"So I sing a song of love, Julia"
06.10.10
BFAR:We Defined Our Own Success!
(Married)meganandshane.weebly.com~
(Planning)shaneandmegan.weebly.com
The only concern I'd be having is if the places you're going to are going to be smokey, which isn't healthy for anybody to be around. I'm from a state that thankfully has banned smoking in bars and restaraunts (Makes going out way nicer), but I know that we're in a very small minority.
But even with the smoke, your sister is the only one that can decide how she feels about going and how much she's capable of doing at that time.
I've been around lots of pregnant women, I've seen some that were on their feet running around without missing a beat just hours before they went into labor, and I've also seen other women that at about 7 months couldn't do more than the bare minimum of physical activities without getting tired and needing to rest. The only thing you can do if she's feeling up to going is to just check in with her here and there to make sure she's fine. And also let her know that she doesn't need to over-do it for your sake, you won't be mad at her if at any point she needs to call it a night early if she is feeling tired.
If you fire a WP member, you're against America.
"Meg cracks me up on the regular. Now she gets to do it in two different forums. Yay!!" ~mkrupar
My sister was pregnant for my last birthday but still came out with us. I told her I was fine with her just going to dinner if she wanted, but she decided to come to the bars for a little while with us too. She ended up staying out with us till the bars closed because she was still having lots of fun!
If that's the case, yeah, there's no smoking here, so really, it's just a matter of her feeling up to going at the time.
If you fire a WP member, you're against America.
"Meg cracks me up on the regular. Now she gets to do it in two different forums. Yay!!" ~mkrupar
[QUOTE]What I meant was I dont want her to come out of obligation if it's not going to be something she's comfortable with.
Posted by Tatarelli1[/QUOTE]
That's fine to be concerned about it. But I would also hope that you have the type of relationship where you can be honest with each other. If you feel that she would do something that made her uncomfortable just to please you, then instead of worrying about it just try and build up the relationship to the point where you can both be 100% honest with each other and still not hurt the other's feelings.
And if you DO mean the Jersey Shore ... well, coming from someone born and raised in New Jersey, believe me when I say that a pregnant girl hanging out in a bar will be FAR from the trashiest or most shocking thing that happens in most part-centered Shore towns ;)
sorry, asile.....I'll be sure to re-read and spell check my posts next time;)
We'll be in OC MD so no need for a driver..there's the bus that runs all night.
I was def. over-thinking! I think it's b/c I have so many other ppl in my ear telling me what they would do or how they would feel. I kind of wanted the opinion of strangers I guess...ppl who don't know my sister or our complete situations. I think I'll just let her know that she can decide for herself when the time comes and if she feels up to it, she can hang out all night and if not, she's free to leave early or do as much as she feels up to. Thanks again!!
Planning/Married Biology
You may want to make sure she has a full driver's license without the "under 21 until..." bar just to be safe. I think MD requires horizontal IDs since that is how their licences work. I've never seen it enforced but I have heard of places doing so on occasion.
Senior Weeks are usually all through June.
Planning/Married Biology
Beyond that, it's for your sister to decide if she can attend or not.