DW: please don't bring gifts with you..??

nycheryl · May 2011

Hi, ladies -

I'm doing a destination wedding. I must preface by saying we don't expect gifts (of course). However, if people do get us something, we would prefer they ship it to our house instead of bringing them with... is there a polite way to encourage this?

We've considered putting something on our website saying "and here's our shipping address if you prefer to send us a gift"... My FI thinks it might be necessary for some of our guests who aren't used to this process.

TIA!

achiduck · May 2011

I think most of your guests will have enough common sense to ship gifts to your home before or after the weekend.

If you've put your registry information on the website then I'd maybe add a "due the the destination nature of our wedding, we ask that anyone who chooses to purchase a gift ship it to our home."

I think it's all in how you word it, you don't want to make it sound like you're expecting anything.

mica178 · May 2011

Most guests know better than to bring gifts to a DW. Trust me, we don't want to travel with the gift to the wedding any more than you want to schlep the gift back home. If you put your mailing address somewhere on your wedding website, most people will understand to ship gifts to your home. I have attended a bunch of destination weddings, and I always send the gift directly to the couple (it's just easier for all of us). Actually, when I think about it, I also do that for local weddings.

nycheryl · May 2011

Thanks for the reassurance, ladies!

I always ship a gift and usually bring a card... I just could see my relatives bringing a giant punch bowl with them

Avion22 · May 2011

Are you doing traditional ivitations and RSVPs? If so, just make sure that the address prined on the invitation/RSVP is where you want any gifts mailed.

Also, if guests buy from an online registry, there is usually an option to have it shipped to the bride and groom -- so just make sure that addres is correct, and you should be good to go:-)

niquemel · May 2011

Put it on the website.
Some friends got married where their parents live instead of where they live (1000+ miles away) and they did that, no problem there.

direy25 · May 2011

We still had a few guests bring gifts to our Vegas wedding - mainly from some of our older guests who aren't really Internet savvy, but most people shipped the gifts or gave cards.

smokeybailey · May 2011

My sister was married in Lake Tahoe and only one guest brought a gift and I think that was because it was a DIY if you will-a hard drive filled with more gigs of music than you could shake a stick at. As such, she didn't ship it, she brought it.

Since your guests are traveling to your wedding, they will only take what they can carry. If they can carry it, you probably can too. However, most people will ship to your home in advance. I think our registry even had an option to request shipment to our home or something like that.

brookelynpaisley · May 2011

I don't think you'll have to worry. I wouldn't bring a gift to a DW. I wouldn't want to lug it with me or have to shop once I got to the destination. However, you really can't dictate to people what to do with gifts to you. To mention them at all is presumptuous. Trust people to use their heads and know that gifts would present an obstacle in getting them home. If you do get gifts, you can retrun them if they're too big, or you'll have to ship them. Annoying, yes, but mentioning gifts and telling people what to do is worse.

FWIW, my sister and her husband recently married in our hometown but live in Seattle, so it was a destination wedding for them. 90% of their gifts were cash, and most physical gifts were sent to their house. They got a couple gifts at the wedidng, but they were mostly small and personal gifts that couldn't have been shipped directly at the store.

wyney · May 2011

I've brought and shipped gifts to DWs in the past. I've shipped heavy cast iron pots. I've brought small, light, inexpensive gifts with me, when the postage would have cost as much as the gift...if it were in driving distance to the couple.

I think most guests will ship it, but I think it would be rude to suggest shipping a gift direct, since you may be asking guests indirectly to shell out more money than they would.

DW: please don't bring gifts with you..??

Re: DW: please don't bring gifts with you..??

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