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Christian Weddings
amongthelilies25
member
waiting for marriage VENT!!
EEERRR!!!!!!
i feel sooo mad! i hate that other people feel the need to put their two sense in to my plan of waiting until marriage. i swear i get grief from Christians and non!
From non-Christians because i am waiting to be physical until my wedding night. they don't understand and bla bla bla. okay, WHATEVER you don't understand. i am not pushing my views on you..i am just saying how i want it to be on my wedding night and i am happy for the decision that we have made. i know God will bless my marriage. Sex is a holy thing and was created for the unity of marriage.
ANDDD from Christians. I am not a virgin. nope..not. made mistakes. in fact..me and my FI have made mistakes. BUUTT we have made a true commitment to eachother and to God to not do anything physical until our wedding night. we have decided to not even kiss until our wedding! we want to be and inspiration and hope to others and say to them "yes...you can STILL wait...even if you have messed up...you can wait"
no, not a 'mess-up-saturday-repent-on-sunday' mindset..but a TRUE repentance. Go and sin no more kind of attitude. Being humble before God and saying "yes..i messed up...but your blood sets me free. cleanse me, Father....i want to pure and i ask you to purify Your child. I repent from my old behavior and i turn the direction i was headed and run after You."
This is what me and FI did..and we are sooo proud and happy with our decision. we are waiting ...again...and i know God will bless us. and i trust God that will feel like that FIRST time experience that other brides will have on their wedding night.
thanks for letting me vent. and if there is anyone else out there..who felt like they "messed up" and cant wait...you can! trust God. No good thing will He withhold from those He loves. (:
This discussion has been closed.
Re: waiting for marriage VENT!!
Are people actually telling you these things? Or are you just feeling them? If friends and family are telling you these things, they should not judge or tell you what's best. If you're feeling them, you have to forgive yourself for the mistakes you have made. I know it's hard, but maybe talking with a priest or going to confession would help, if that is in your faith tradition.
While I myself have waited (international long-distance relationships make it easy), there are plenty of examples of people who have made mistakes but have truly repented. I'm one of the only Orthodox Christians on here (there's no board for us), but there is the example of St. Mary of Egypt. In fact, she was a prostitute, but she had a major change of heart, repented, and became one of the most holy people. She is revered for that today. Your mistake, I would say, is no where need as bad as hers, but I think her example shows that genuine repentence really means something. And God knows and remembers that.
In short, I admire that you have genuinely changed your ways, even to the point where you are not kissing. You are a strong person with good values! How far away is your wedding? I hope it's not too far off, so you can at least get past this challenge quickly.
P.S. I noticed you're also from NorCal! I'm getting married in SF.
i was not a virgin when i married, and while i H and i had sex wtih each other prior to marriage, we did choose to abstain for the entire duration of our engagement as we prepared for our sacrament. so, i get where you are coming from.
One of my biggest problems since being engaged is that FI's parents don't understand our decision. They think that we should live together before we get married because they think we are rushing things. (We've been together for 4.5 years; no we aren't rushing things.) They aren't Christians and they just don't get it. We have chosen to not discuss the waiting until marriage thing with them anymore because it's such a controversial topic with them.
Sometimes it's just best to pray for other people. You know that you want to wait until marriage to be physical. Your friends need to understand that. If they don't understand it, pray for them.
You must be comfortable with your decision. I'll say a prayer for you. Don't get discouraged.
{Original post} {E post}
No one has called me out on here for anything purity related, not even waiting to kiss, which I've been surprised about. I don't really mention it on other boards, though. Just know that you're always welcome here.
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Good for you. It's a really difficult decision to wait (whether you've been active before or not) so feel good about sticking to your guns!!
[QUOTE]i saw sarabellam's reply to you on the E board. i thought it was totally out of line. i was not a virgin when i married, and while i H and i had sex wtih each other prior to marriage, we did choose to abstain for the entire duration of our engagement as we prepared for our sacrament. so, i get where you are coming from.
Posted by Calypso1977[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>thank you! that means a lot to me! her reply really did hurt me. </div><div>but you have encouraged me!
</div>
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[QUOTE]If you don't want people's opinions about your sex life, don't talk about your sex life to them. Voila! No judgement from Christians or non-Christians.
Posted by sarabellam[/QUOTE]
This pretty much my response.
People only know that you're waiting because you tell them. I may think you're weird for waiting to get married to kiss each other, but if you hadn't said anything I wouldn't know and there would be no judgement. If you're waiting or not waiting for whatever reason it's your own business and if you don't want people to say anything about it, then just don't talk about it and ignore the E board if you do.
FI and I are also waiting till marriage so I'm right in line with you ladies.
The comments from E are just a reminder on how we are a salt and a light unto the world... If you're not being 'salty'/different, then you'r not doing something right.
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: waiting for marriage VENT!! : This pretty much my response. People only know that you're waiting because you tell them. I may think you're weird for waiting to get married to kiss each other, but if you hadn't said anything I wouldn't know and there would be no judgement. If you're waiting or not waiting for whatever reason it's your own business and if you don't want people to say anything about it, then just don't talk about it and ignore the E board if you do.
Posted by Beazilla[/QUOTE]
Ditto this.
We also waited and got lots of support with those who understood, but also from those who didn't.
If people don't support you their friendship may just be a waste of time. I had plenty of friends who do NOT believe in waiting, yet still fully supporting me and DH.
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: waiting for marriage VENT!! : Ditto this. We also waited and got lots of support with those who understood, but also from those who didn't. <strong>If people don't support you their friendship may just be a waste of time. I</strong> had plenty of friends who do NOT believe in waiting, yet still fully supporting me and DH.
Posted by katanne9[/QUOTE]
I agree wholeheartedly with this.
i'm a grown woman - 30 years old - and made the decision to wait until marriage for sex a long time ago & haven't looked back. in the years since my decision, i have come to understand it to be less a dogmatic curse, but an act of worship.
so, my faith is a lifestyle not something i do on some random sundays. if they can't respect where you're coming from, give them the "kanye shrug". We live to glorify God not please man.