I've been looking over my rough draft of our wedding guest list and I've hit a problem-- we're looking at 75 people max-- and I'm past that point. My question is about my dad's family and my cousins on that side. I haven't seen any of them in a few years, since our Grammie passed away, and I only have contact, on Facebook, with three of them. Looking at my guest list-- with all of them included, I wonder how many will actually come-- so should I even bother sending an invitation? I don't want to cross friends who live close by and whom I see for family that may or may not come, and I don't want to send invivations out to more than 75 people on the hope that only 75 will come. What should I do?
Re: Wedding Guest Challange
One thing to keep in mind, families talk, and they hold grudges. If you do invite some and not others be prepared for the "Why didn't you invite us? We've been waiting for this day since you were a baby" phone call.
House / Baby blog
Problem is that if family you think will say no says yes, a friend may be left off.
Michelle & Michael
Married - August '10
TTC - Since September 2011
What you could do is split the list in half (or as close to it as you can) and give it to your mom and say "I need to get this list down to such-and-such number" and let her be responsible for what happens after that. You could also give her the list and say I need to know who is on your "must invite" list, your "would like to invite" list, and "invite if there's room" list. I suggest you do the same that way the cutting back is equal.
I am "related" to a LOT of people. I consider maybe 20% of them to be my family. The rest I never see or talk to, don't know how to contact, and probably wouldn't recognize on the street. I sure didn't try to figure out how to invite them.
I say, invite the 75 people you're closest to and will try to maintain a relationship with over the course of your lifetime. If that's all family - so be it. If it's mostly friends - that's fine too. And anybody who gets peeved that they didn't make the list is most likely not somebody you're really close with anyway, KWIM?
Dresses may be easier to take in than let out, but guest lists are not. -- kate51485
My Planning Bio
I will say, I think it's pretty tacky to invite some people late when you get no RSVPs back. Invite the number of people you have room for. I agree with lharri12, see if there's some wiggle room in other parts of your budget to make room for more guests, if you decide you do want to invite these family members.