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July 2012 Weddings
I hate to do this but...i dont know
I picked out my bridesmaid dresses on 1/2/2012 and asked my BM is they could have the deposit in the next few weeks I have a bridesmaid who was supposed to put the $58 deposit on her dress over a month ago, we had an appt to do so. She never said that she needed more time to do it until i called to confirm our appt 2 days prior to the appt date....NEVER DID SHE CALL AND SAY HEY I CANT DO IT RIGHT NOW. was she just gonna not show up if i had never said anything?
so when that i happened I asked her "are u sure u can afford this" and many other questions insisting that I would be ok and not upset if she had to step down. she assured me that she could handle it. So i never heard from her about it, it turned into a month later i never knew how much time she needed, i naively felt like she would keep me informed. My wedding planner called her (2/2/2012) and she said she would have it done by 2/6/2012, that night i nonchalantly asked "did u have trouble contacting the bridal shop" she said "oh i spaced it, ill do it wednesday (2/8/2012)" i decided that if she does not do it by tonight she will be removed. Why? Because she assured me that she could handle this. I havent asked her to do ANYTHING AT ALL except get her dress and a $58 deposit is CAKE.
I dont want to be that bride but this is my wedding and it doesnt have to be anyone elses priority but Im the type of person if u say ur going to do something then do it. Same goes for me. If she cant afford it she should say so. I dont like being toyed with. So the bridal shop closes at 8pm...What should I do?
Oh and my wedding is july 14, yes that is in 5 months but that is nothing in wedding time and all alterations are being done there along with groomsmens tuxes coming from there and mother(s) dresses that is a lot of business for them on top of their other bridal parties...So if we order now the dresses will be in my early May. Ik it might ruin our friendship buti dont want to be stressed out tryin to get her to do the one thing she is responsible for, the one thing she is supposed to take care of,,,Her Wardrobe. Oh and i just found out the other day in talking to her that she doesnt even know my almost 1 year olds name...COME ON
This discussion has been closed.
Re: I hate to do this but...i dont know
[QUOTE]I picked out my bridesmaid dresses on 1/2/2012 and asked my BM is they could have the deposit in the next few weeks I have a bridesmaid who was supposed to put the $58 deposit on her dress over a month ago, we had an appt to do so. She never said that she needed more time to do it until i called to confirm our appt 2 days prior to the appt date....NEVER DID SHE CALL AND SAY HEY I CANT DO IT RIGHT NOW. was she just gonna not show up if i had never said anything? so when that i happened I asked her "are u sure u can afford this" and many other questions insisting that I would be ok and not upset if she had to step down. she assured me that she could handle it. So i never heard from her about it, it turned into a month later i never knew how much time she needed, i naively felt like she would keep me informed. My wedding planner called her (2/2/2012) and she said she would have it done by 2/6/2012, that night i nonchalantly asked "did u have trouble contacting the bridal shop" she said "oh i spaced it, ill do it wednesday (2/8/2012)" i decided that if she does not do it by tonight she will be removed. Why? Because she assured me that she could handle this. I <strong>havent asked her to do ANYTHING AT ALL</strong> except get her dress and <strong>a $58 deposit is CAKE</strong>. I dont want to be that bride but this is my wedding and it doesnt have to be anyone elses priority but Im the type of person if u say ur going to do something then do it. Same goes for me. If she cant afford it she should say so. I dont like being toyed with. So the bridal shop closes at 8pm...What should I do? Oh and my wedding is <strong>july 14, yes that is in 5 months but that is nothing in wedding time</strong> and all alterations are being done there along with groomsmens tuxes coming from there and mother(s) dresses that is a lot of business for them on top of their other bridal parties...So if we order now the dresses will be in my early May. Ik <strong>it might ruin our friendship but its not like i c her much anyway</strong> and i just found out the other day in talking to her that she doesnt even know my almost 1 year olds name...COME ON
Posted by mcclainlashawn[/QUOTE]
First off, a bridesmaid should have "jobs", so not asking her to do anything at all is irrelevant since they shouldn't be forced into doing anything without them volunteering their time.
Secondly, $58 may be nothing to you, but it is a significant amount to other people. When did you ask her to be in your wedding? Maybe she is embarrassed to tell you that she doesn't have the money because she may feel like she's letting you down.
My bridesmaids all just ordered their dresses this week. The place I ordered from said they still have until the end of the month before they would absolutely HAVE to order them, so you may still have a couple of weeks depending on the designer of the dress.
You don't sound like it means much to you that your friendship would be ruined...how well do you know this girl? Have you sat down and talked to her recently about non-wedding related things? Maybe she's going through a hard time and your wedding is the last thing on her mind. Cut her some slack and ask her what's going on in her life and see if there's anything you can do to be there for her.
Dude, chill. Sometimes people have more important things to be worried about. Maybe you should ask her how she is without talk of the wedding. Something stressful might be going on, and she might need YOU.
I honestly get why you're irritated, but you shouldn't take it any further than that. This is not something to get upset or stressed about. Give her a straight up deadline, and if she doesn't meet it, she removes herself from the wedding. If she's as spacey as you say, she'll be the one kicking herself for delaying.
[QUOTE]Think about how u would feel planning a wedding and something like this happening
Posted by mcclainlashawn[/QUOTE]
I did, which is why I didn't have bridesmaids. The more people you involve, the more chaotic things become.
And honestly? As Karlee said, chill.
A-$58 may be a lot to your friend, I know it is to me, in fact spending that much money can mean the difference between getting all the groceries one week and not.
B-If your friend is anything like me she doesn't tell people what's going on in her life unless it's someone who is extremely close or it's been pried out of me.
C- We all know what it's like trying to plan a wedding in 5 months. That's why we're here on this board. Think everything has been peachy the whole planning process? You'd be sadly mistaken if you think everything has gone without a hitch.
[QUOTE]There was so much more to the "are u sure u can afford this" but im not going there i dont feel like it, i asked for advice not for a bunch of mean comments. If u had a bridesmaid that wasnt doing as they said they would then how would u feel. Yes I HAVE TALKED TO HER and there are sum things going on, nothing major, just small things but that still has nothing to do with saying u will do something and then not doing it. Think about how u would feel planning a wedding and something like this happening
Posted by mcclainlashawn[/QUOTE]
If you think these ladies are mean - then you haven't really read what they're saying to you.
Dude, my girls haven't even ordered their dresses. Chill, let her get her dress on her own time and stop micromanaging everything. If she doesn't get her dress on time, that's her own fault and she's taken herself out. Worry about things that matter and that you can control. Or you could grab her by the wrist and drag her. I don't recommend that though. Some people don't like being touched.
Also, I'm a horrible friend too I guess. I keep forgetting if my close friend's kid's name is Alexa or Alexis. I get her kid and someone else's mixed up. Meh.
Finally, I'm pretty sure we're all planning a wedding. A wedding for July actually since this is a July 2012 wedding board. Seriously, you have no idea what myself and some of the other ladies have had to deal with during our planning process.
I have a BM that is a single mother and struggling and before I asked her to be a BM I kept enough money set aside to pay for her dress if I had too. Since you said it is only $58 why not pay her deposit?
I would rather do without favors or expensive flowers than not have my close friend stand next to me.
[QUOTE]Oh man, I totally read 58 dollar deposit ON cake. I was like "wtf, nobody is gonna say something?". Glad I re-read that lol Dude, my girls haven't even ordered their dresses. Chill, let her get her dress on her own time and stop micromanaging everything. If she doesn't get her dress on time, that's her own fault and she's taken herself out. Worry about things that matter and that you can control. Or you could grab her by the wrist and drag her. I don't recommend that though. Some people don't like being touched. Also, I'm a horrible friend too I guess. I keep forgetting if my close friend's kid's name is Alexa or Alexis. I get her kid and someone else's mixed up. Meh. Finally, I'm pretty sure we're all planning a wedding. A wedding for July actually since this is a July 2012 wedding board. Seriously, you have no idea what myself and some of the other ladies have had to deal with during our planning process.
Posted by avsfan33[/QUOTE]
I totally read it like that too! I had to reread twice.
[QUOTE]Can I order cliffs notes for this thread?
Posted by k8888[/QUOTE]
<div>OP made a huge post with no paragraphs about how her BM keeps putting off ordering her BM dress. So now she wants to kick her out of the BP because, "She never sees her anyway."</div><div>
</div><div>She edited it into paragraphs per my instructions, and then we all gave her awesome advice. That's when she said, "HOW WOULD YOU FEEL IF YOU WERE PLANNING A WEDDING AND THIS HAPPENED?!?!". To which we all replied, "you crazy."</div>
[QUOTE]I have a BM that is a single mother and struggling and before I asked her to be a BM I kept enough money set aside to pay for her dress if I had too. Since you said it is only $58 why not pay her deposit? I would rather do without favors or expensive flowers than not have my close friend stand next to me.
Posted by Carla1019[/QUOTE]
I say pay her deposit, I had a BM issue and we all decided to pay her expenses as a group.
[QUOTE]I don't see any mean comments posted thus far. What I do see is people trying to make you realize that A-$58 may be a lot to your friend, I know it is to me, in fact spending that much money can mean the difference between getting all the groceries one week and not. B-If your friend is anything like me she doesn't tell people what's going on in her life unless it's someone who is extremely close or it's been pried out of me. C- We all know what it's like trying to plan a wedding in 5 months. That's why we're here on this board. Think everything has been peachy the whole planning process? You'd be sadly mistaken if you think everything has gone without a hitch.
Posted by Madisonpenny[/QUOTE]
I completely agree with Madison!! Completely!!
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: I hate to do this but...i dont know : <strong>If you think these ladies are mean - then you haven't really read what they're saying to you.
</strong>Posted by BrightFirefly[/QUOTE]
Exactly!
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: I hate to do this but...i dont know : OP made a huge post with no paragraphs about how her BM keeps putting off ordering her BM dress. So now she wants to kick her out of the BP because, "She never sees her anyway." She edited it into paragraphs per my instructions, and then we all gave her awesome advice. That's when she said, "HOW WOULD YOU FEEL IF YOU WERE PLANNING A WEDDING AND THIS HAPPENED?!?!". To which we all replied, "you crazy."
Posted by MeaganR12[/QUOTE]
Bahahahaha, thanks, Meagan
If only I knew what it was like to plan a wedding and deal with BMs....... ................ derp
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: I hate to do this but...i dont know : OP made a huge post with no paragraphs about how her BM keeps putting off ordering her BM dress. So now she wants to kick her out of the BP because, "She never sees her anyway." She edited it into paragraphs per my instructions, and then we all gave her awesome advice. That's when she said, "HOW WOULD YOU FEEL IF YOU WERE PLANNING A WEDDING AND THIS HAPPENED?!?!". To which we all replied, "you crazy."
Posted by MeaganR12[/QUOTE]
Meg, you missed the part about her calling you a butthead for your mean comments and then promptly deleting it
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: I hate to do this but...i dont know : Bahahahaha, thanks,<strong> Meagan If only I knew what it was like to plan a wedding and deal with BMs....... ................ derp
</strong>Posted by k8888[/QUOTE]
If this chick is only dealing with 1 BM try dealing with 7!! 7 different personalities! Everyone is dealing with different difficult situations sweetheart. No one is being mean to you, they are all giving you an honest opinion about YOUR situation that YOU decided to get advice on. There are great girls on this board who give honest opinions. No need to get all huffy and puffy about it. If money is no object to you, which seems like it isn't, then pay the $58 for your BM and GET OVER IT!
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: I hate to do this but...i dont know : Meg, you missed the part about her calling you a butthead for your mean comments and then promptly deleting it
Posted by AllyG303[/QUOTE]
Did she actually say butthead???? ahahaha wow
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: I hate to do this but...i dont know : OP made a huge post with no paragraphs about how her BM keeps putting off ordering her BM dress. So now she wants to kick her out of the BP because, "She never sees her anyway." She edited it into paragraphs per my instructions, and then we all gave her awesome advice. That's when she said, "HOW WOULD YOU FEEL IF YOU WERE PLANNING A WEDDING AND THIS HAPPENED?!?!". To which we all replied, "you crazy."
Posted by MeaganR12[/QUOTE]
i love how meagan always makes me laugh in the midst of posts like this :):)
and yes....she did say "butthead"