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Wedding Party
Flowergirls... touchy subject
I've run into a slight dilemma: i have a seven year old niece who I am extremely close to that will most definitely be a flowergirl in my wedding. This past summer, my fiance's brother had his wedding and they used my fiance's young cousins (ages 3 and 8) as their flowergirls. They are now 4 and 9, and my wedding isn't exactly going to be large. I don't want to have 3 flowergirls, but I'd feel bad if I asked one sister to be in the wedding and not the other one. I've already considered asking the younger one to be a flowergirl, and the older one to pass out programs, but I don't want to hurt her feelings... I feel that I have to ask them, but I'm not sure what to do.... please HELLLLLLP!
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Re: Flowergirls... touchy subject
Sunbonnet or cone of shame? You be the judge! Trixie's Blog
My Planning Bio
My Married Bio updated March 4
Is his family (or your FI) pressuring you to include them?
If they haven't even said anything about expecting the cousins to be flower girls, then I wouldn't even worry about it. Chances are, the parents might be relieved not to have to buy special outfits (especially since the girls will grow out of them in a few months) and have to worry about their kids getting down the aisle without a meltdown. You may be fretting over nothing.
And if they HAVE said something about wanting their kids to be in the wedding, just ignore them, because they're being rude and presumptious. The girls already had their chance to be in a wedding with your FBIL. It is absolutely not rude for you to only include your niece.
Edit: Unless their parents have strong feelings of entitlement when it comes to their daughters, in which case they should get a little life lesson as well. But it doesn't sound like you are worried about the parents' reactions so I assume they're fairly level-headed.
Planning/Married Biology
Yeah, just have the one you want. Don't worry about asking the other 2. If the family's applying pressure, then you need to debate whether or not it's worth it to cave on the issue, but if nobody's bothering you about, just do what you want and enjoy the fact that, well, nobody's bothering you, lol.
If you fire a WP member, you're against America.
"Meg cracks me up on the regular. Now she gets to do it in two different forums. Yay!!" ~mkrupar
I've tried to keep our wedding party strictly to people that are really close to me, and said to heck with what people think...
I hope you didn't mean this the way it came out. You don't have to be really close to the people in your FI's WP. It's also HIS WP. If he wanted his little cousins in the WP, then they should be considered.
Normally we tell brides here that if the FI wants someone, they stand on his side, and if the bride wants someone, they stand on her side.
I'll qualify this a little bit since the two cousins are little girls and the appropriate role is FG. In that case, I give some leeway, and if your FI thinks they should be in the wedding, they should be.
If he doesn't, just go with the one FG. You don't need to have the same people in your wedding just because they were in another.
bio
Repeat this to your self: My Wedding Party is made of my family and friends and I should treat them as such.
My cousin lived with us when I was younger and is now grown with two young children who are like neices and nephews to me. I would have loved to have had them but then my FI's aunt would have been upset her kids weren't included.
forget about everyone else's feelings but yours...