Number of bridesmaids

TaraandRichforever · February 2010

I know what ettiquette says but I just want to get everyones honest opinion on something. I have 2 bridesmaids and a maid of honor right now for my July wedding. My fiance currently has 3 groomsmen and a best man. I know the sides dont HAVE to be even but I am just wondering what people will think if I have less people on my side than my fiance has on his? Will it seem weird since my side has less rather than his side? We havent ordered the dresses yet but we have decided on them and I feel like if I ask another friend to be a bridesmaid now it will seem as though she wasnt important enough to ask right away. So what would you think if the bride had 3 on her side and the groom had 4 on his side?

lizziemoopsc · February 2010

You are right, that is exactly what she will think. The purpose of having maids and men is that they are standing up with you and supporting you through your wedding and marriage. Pick who you really want up there with you, not people to make it even. If anything, people will really know why they're up there with you

emilyinchile · February 2010

I would think that you guys didn't have the exact same number of BFFs. And that is all. I would not think (which I get the impression you're worried about from the way you worded this) that the bride was a big loser who didn't have as many friends as the groom. Nor would I think that you must have originally had an extra person and wonder what you did to piss her off.

Stick with uneven sides full of good friends.

fiddle14 · February 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_number-of-bridesmaids-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:cde1fa2b-11b7-4f07-ac84-d1058decf4adPost:0e19bc55-fbab-456d-9569-1b0b4551bef7">Number of bridesmaids</a>:
[QUOTE]I am just wondering what people will think if I have less people on my side than my fiance has on his? Will it seem weird since my side has less rather than his side? We havent ordered the dresses yet but we have decided on them and I feel like if I ask another friend to be a bridesmaid now it will seem as though she wasnt important enough to ask right away. Posted by TaraandRichforever[/QUOTE]

What will people think? Not a thing! Most people will barely notice such a thing, especially since uneven sides happen all the time. And I applaud you for asking your closest friends and not just choosing somebody to "even up" with your FI.

You're correct - adding somebody at this point to "make numbers" shouldn't be a priority. The WP is all about honoring your closest friends.

bablingbrooke · February 2010

1. As a guest, I probably wouldn't notice or care since I'd be so focused on the couple in the middle getting married.

2. If I did notice, I'd think you had 3 good friends and your FI had 4 good friends.

3. I'd forget about it as soon as the wedding was over and go party.

FWIW, DH had 3 and I had 4. His side of the church also had more people sitting in it than mine. I doubt anyone drew any conclusions about us one way or another based on it. In fact, I'm positive they didn't since all we heard during and after the wedding was how much fun it was, not how sorry they felt for DH for not having a 4th guy.

mbcdefg · February 2010

If someone is enough of a toolbag to scoff at you for not having an equal amount of friends/attendants to your FI, do you really care WHAT they think?

trix1223 · February 2010

Yes, I would think your FI is just more popular than you are.

Seriously? You're really hugely overthinking this. As a guest, I could not possibly care less about who a couple's attendants are and how many they have.

That is so not important at all. At. All.

CTGirl30 · February 2010

I wouldn't think twice about it and I think you shouldn't, either.

And no, it will not seem weird that you have one less person standing on your side than your FI does.

Uneven WPs are more and more common these days. In my case there will be 4 people on my side and 3 on my FI's side. We're both absolutely happy with the way it worked out because it's about WHO is up there with us - not HOW MANY.

Enjoy your wedding planning and please don't stress over this.

TaraandRichforever · February 2010

Originally I was gonna have 5 but two of the girls I asked werent able to do it. One because she didnt think she could afford it and one because she was really busy with buying a new home and working and planning her own wedding. So I have my friend who I have been friends with the longest as my maid of honor, another friend as a bridesmaid and one of my cousins as a bridesmaid. I was thinking of asking another friend but she is much older than me, Im not sure if she can afford it either and my mother seems to have a problem if she were to be one of my bridesmaids. But as I said its probably too late now anyway, so I'll probably just stick with how it is.

emilyinchile · February 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_number-of-bridesmaids-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:cde1fa2b-11b7-4f07-ac84-d1058decf4adPost:5e8617b9-4a11-4c13-93d6-bf33fbe2c27d">Re: Number of bridesmaids</a>:
[QUOTE]I was thinking of asking another friend but she is much older than me, Im not sure if she can afford it either and my mother seems to have a problem if she were to be one of my bridesmaids.
Posted by TaraandRichforever[/QUOTE]

These are bad reasons not to ask someone if you truly want to.

But asking to make sides even is a bad reason to ask someone, and I agree it's a bit late now.

etaraskewich · February 2010

We have uneven attendants...I have 5 bridesmaids and he has 4 groomsmen. It's SO not a big deal!

steph43987 · February 2010

I agree with PP.

My friend went to a wedding (destination wedding to Vegas) and there were 3 BM's and 12, yes, TWELVE, GM's. People were definitely not expecting it but didn't say anything bad. I would imagine it would have looked a little funny.. but everyone knew groom had several close friends, while bride didn't. Neither of them have regrets.

Number of bridesmaids

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