claiming my "day"

i2012do · July 2010

I , as a lot of us on this board are, are at the age where tons of people are getting married.I just got engaged, and so did another girl I know, who I was friends with in college. So the issue is, I (and this is a blessing I know but a sin) have a TON of friends from college I am still close with. And plan on inviting a good amount—anyone I have spoken to in the last 6 months, or see more than once a year basically, because we still email a ton etc. At the same time—a lot of girls I know from college are now engaged. And most of us share mutual friends.Three of the girls that got engaged when I did are getting married in 2012 like I am. One is one of my best friends so we are planning around each other. The other two, are not that close anymore but we share mutual friends…. As in. I am not inviting “Emily” who just got engaged to my wedding, but we were friends in college/ I am inviting “Sarah” to my wedding. But “Emily” is also inviting her. So Sarah said that she wont want to chose between friends.. and have to pick to go to one persons wedding if we both chose the same days. With that said, I cant tell “Emily” (the girl getting married) I already picked my date! Or ask her what hers is, since we aren’t in touch that much.!! I have two people in my life like this. Do I just hope the word gets passed along.They are both planning summer weddings like me, and I am the only one with a date yet!So do I hope that they don’t plan for the same day. There are at least 20 friends that we will all share on our guest list and at least 50% said something along the lines of “we aren’t Choosing between friends, so u guys have to figure it out” It feels awk. To like literally “pee” on my day and claim my territory. But I want us all to be surrounded by our friends, and don’t want to make our friends have to pick and chose and be put “in the middle”WHAT TO DO. Should I just post on face book and be like “booked our venue. XXX,XXX.,2012!! So excited” and hope those girls see it? That seems so tacky

FutureMrsTR · July 2010

I feel like this is a word problem in math class. I couldn't even read any of it. CN anyone?

georgia_bride09 · July 2010

You're wordy.

I skimmed, but you do realize there are 52 weekends in 2012? What are the odds that you are all going to pick the same date?

brilibby4 · July 2010

Send Save the dates? Honestly, it is doubtful you will both happen to choose the exact same day to want to get married.

Knittibell · July 2010

Have you actually booked your date/venue? If so, send out STD's, but be SURE you only send them to people who are definitely invited. I suppose, if you're looking to stake a claim on a date, that'd be the way to do it.

crfische · July 2010

If train A Leaves philidelphia at 1 pm and arrives in Fargo at 8pm, travelling at 65 miles an hour, what time will we be in Spain?

georgia_bride09 · July 2010

Blue Moon time. Durr.

i2012do · July 2010

hah aosrry
I am copying and pasting... And I think that adds to it.

Basically, I have mutual friends getting married all in one year. Four of us so far!! And that doesnt count anyone getting engaged next year

we all want summer weddings.

What if we pick the same day?? Some of our mutual friends already said "we arent chosing one person over another and attending their wedding so alert each other"

problem is, 2 of the 3 other girls getting married i dont speak with regularly.
So I dont want to like call them and tell them.

We all want summer weddings. On the east coast, that narrows it down to like 12 weekends.

akhensley81 · July 2010

Just plan the wedding you want on the date you want and invite the people you want. They'll come if they can. And the wedding will still happen no matter who's there.

i2012do · July 2010

Boy, do I wish i never joined a sorority in college.

I do have a Date and event venue picked-- but we arent getting married untill 2012-- so I think its too early to send out STDs!???

crfische · July 2010

Georgia, quit answering wedding posts, k?

nda_roxybabe · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_claiming-day?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:61bd9839-bbd6-43b4-9005-dab5ec130e8dPost:030ce972-b88d-4c4d-b491-846836f3038b">claiming my "day"</a>:
[QUOTE]I , as a lot of us on this board are, are at the age where tons of people are getting married. I just got engaged, and so did another girl I know, who I was friends with in college. So the issue is, I (and this is a blessing I know but a sin) have a TON of friends from college I am still close with. And plan on inviting a good amount—anyone I have spoken to in the last 6 months, or see more than once a year basically, because we still email a ton etc. At the same time—a lot of girls I know from college are now engaged. And most of us share mutual friends. Three of the girls that got engaged when I did are getting married in 2012 like I am. One is one of my best friends so we are planning around each other. The other two, are not that close anymore but we share mutual friends…. As in. I am not inviting “Emily” who just got engaged to my wedding, but we were friends in college/ I am inviting “Sarah” to my wedding. But “Emily” is also inviting her. So Sarah said that she wont want to chose between friends.. and have to pick to go to one persons wedding if we both chose the same days. With that said, I cant tell “Emily” (the girl getting married) I already picked my date! Or ask her what hers is, since we aren’t in touch that much.!! I have two people in my life like this. Do I just hope the word gets passed along. They are both planning summer weddings like me, and I am the only one with a date yet! So do I hope that they don’t plan for the same day. There are at least 20 friends that we will all share on our guest list and at least 50% said something along the lines of “we aren’t Choosing between friends, so u guys have to figure it out” It feels awk. To like literally “pee” on my day and claim my territory. But I want us all to be surrounded by our friends, and don’t want to make our friends have to pick and chose and be put “in the middle” WHAT TO DO. Should I just post on face book and be like “booked our venue. XXX,XXX.,2012!! So excited” and hope those girls see it? That seems so tacky
Posted by i2012do[/QUOTE]
2012 is a little ways away, once you book a venue then send out STD's.
I see nothing wrong with FB-ing "We set our date 6-8-12!" I'd avoid the excessive punctuation though.

TheCranberry · July 2010

You can't control what other people are going to do. I am in a similar situation, and I am trying to avoid conflicting with other weddings that are already planned so that my friends don't have to choose. In the end, you have to pick a date and you can't control if someone else picks your date.

Hopefully, your friends with multiple weddings to attend can TACTFULLY let their other friends know that they have already have weddings on certain dates. Perhaps these other brides/grooms will try avoid a date that was already booked so their friend can attend.

georgia_bride09 · July 2010

Just book your venue first, thereby locking in your date.

FutureMrsTR · July 2010

Yes, it's too early to send STDs. If you happen to choose the same weekends, some people will miss your wedding. It happens, you'll live and you likely won't even notice they're not there on the day.

nhelene · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_claiming-day?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:61bd9839-bbd6-43b4-9005-dab5ec130e8dPost:030ce972-b88d-4c4d-b491-846836f3038b">claiming my "day"</a>:
[QUOTE]I , as a lot of us on this board are, are at the age where tons of people are getting married. I just got engaged, and so did another girl I know, who I was friends with in college. So the issue is, I (and this is a blessing I know but a sin) have a TON of friends from college I am still close with. And plan on inviting a good amount—anyone I have spoken to in the last 6 months, or see more than once a year basically, because we still email a ton etc. At the same time—a lot of girls I know from college are now engaged. And most of us share mutual friends. Three of the girls that got engaged when I did are getting married in 2012 like I am. One is one of my best friends so we are planning around each other. The other two, are not that close anymore but we share mutual friends…. As in. I am not inviting “Emily” who just got engaged to my wedding, but we were friends in college/ I am inviting “Sarah” to my wedding. But “Emily” is also inviting her. So Sarah said that she wont want to chose between friends.. and have to pick to go to one persons wedding if we both chose the same days. With that said, I cant tell “Emily” (the girl getting married) I already picked my date! Or ask her what hers is, since we aren’t in touch that much.!! I have two people in my life like this. Do I just hope the word gets passed along. They are both planning summer weddings like me, and I am the only one with a date yet! So do I hope that they don’t plan for the same day. <strong>There are at least 20 friends that we will all share on our guest list and at least 50% said something along the lines of “we aren’t Choosing between friends, so u guys have to figure it out”</strong> It feels awk. To like literally “pee” on my day and claim my territory. But I want us all to be surrounded by our friends, and don’t want to make our friends have to pick and chose and be put “in the middle” WHAT TO DO. Should I just post on face book and be like “booked our venue. XXX,XXX.,2012!! So excited” and hope those girls see it? That seems so tacky
Posted by i2012do[/QUOTE]

Pick the date you want. If 'Emily' picks the same date, too bad for your friends: they ARE going to have to choose. It's your job not to get offended at which ones pick which.

But it sounds like it will make life easier if you just suck it up and invite Emily. Then you can send her a save the date and discuss some details with her.

i2012do · July 2010

thanks.
Im just going to help the word gets spread around.... and tell friends I have my date.

My fiance suggested he post on facebook when the date comes up next month "two years from today well be married!" just to make it more subtle
.

i2012do · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_claiming-day?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:61bd9839-bbd6-43b4-9005-dab5ec130e8dPost:efa4f31a-2513-41b7-8615-6981d21ef77a">Re: claiming my "day"</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to claiming my "day" : Pick the date you want. If 'Emily' picks the same date, too bad for your friends: they ARE going to have to choose. It's your job not to get offended at which ones pick which. But it sounds like it will make life easier if you just suck it up and invite Emily. Then you can send her a save the date and discuss some details with her.
Posted by nhelene[/QUOTE]

haha good idea. She might think its out of the blue, but its prob my best bet.

crfische · July 2010

That's not really subtle at all...nor will it likely click with anyone to save that date because of a Facebook status.

danieliza1127 · July 2010

If In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_claiming-day?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:61bd9839-bbd6-43b4-9005-dab5ec130e8dPost:7b9c6f3e-79cf-40d6-b1a5-074ed94126de">Re: claiming my "day"</a>:
[QUOTE]Boy, do I wish i never joined a sorority in college. I do have a Date and event venue picked-- but we arent getting married untill 2012-- so I think its too early to send out STDs!???
Posted by i2012do[/QUOTE]

If your date is official in that you do have a venue booked, you can just send an e-mail to the other brides and let them know. I wouldn't put it on FB because it could lead to people who you aren't planning to invite to think they're invited. A lot can change between now and 2012 and you may not still be in touch with some people by then, or you might not have the money or space to invite as many people as you think you will right now.

All you can do is let the other brides know the date you have booked and be done with it. If it happens that people have to choose between weddings, so be it. You all can't really be BEST friends with each other, so I'm sure some will choose yours if they're closer to you while others might choose another one if they're closer to her. There's not much you can do about it.

goheels05 · July 2010

If they all want summer weddings, or even wedding season weddings, I don't think it's too much of a stretch to think there's a strong possibilty of some overlap.

I agree with the advice of booking your venue and maybe even a FB status of "we set the date" like Roxy said.

I went to a small college and an acquaintance got married the same day as me. I didn't think it was a big deal since we are acquaintances and not really friends, but I knew we'd have some invite overlap. I ran into her a year before our wedding date at homecoming and tried to make a joke about it and she was all butthurt and tried to get me to get married earlier in the day (my wedding was already at 10:30 AM) in case anyone wanted to go to both. So don't be that girl, b/c it's annoying. If there's overlap, let it be.

Lisa8888 · July 2010

You can't claim the whole year. Book your venue and send out STDs. No point in fretting over this.

georgia_bride09 · July 2010

[QUOTE]thanks. Im just going to help the word gets spread around.... and tell friends I have my date. My fiance suggested he post on facebook when the date comes up next month "two years from today well be married!" just to make it more subtle .
Posted by i2012do[/QUOTE]

So you've already set the date? You have to book something first, you know.

CTGirl30 · July 2010

Here's the thing about wedding planning - you can't please all of the people all of them (be it family members, friends, etc) - everyone will have an opinion about something.

You picked your date and reserved your venue, correct? Ok, so you're good to go. You could mention it to the other girls you KNOW are getting married that same summer and leave it at that. Then you'll have done your part in spreading the word if you guys are trying to avoid getting married in the same weekend or same day, if possible.

When it's time to actually send out STDs (about 8 months befor the wedding, generally) then you'll be giving your guests plenty of notice when your wedding is. They can put it on their calendars and if they get two invitations for the very same day, it's up to them to choose. It's not up to you to go crazy planning venues and dates around each other. Sorry, but if 2 weddings DO fall on the same date, your guests will have to make a decision. Tough, I know, but the world will not end and you'll still be married at the end of the wedding day.

amandajean36 · July 2010

get married in 2011. problem solved.

Knittibell · July 2010

Hey one way to look at it, if they are on the same day, you'll really KNOW who your friends are. Think of it as a culling opportunity.

wadingmoose · July 2010

The standard knot font is really good. It's just so... appealing and easy to read.

cqbride · July 2010

You know, I heard that the world is supposed to end in 2012, so maybe you'l get lucky and not have to worry about it.

parker624 · July 2010

Why don't you just communicate through Sarah to find out if Emily has a date yet, and vice versa?

marisah83 · July 2010

If you have stuff booked, go ahead and let your friends know and stop worrying about "Emily" or anyone else! She may book on the same day as you even if you do send out STDs or post on Facebook. She may not be as considerate as you in choosing dates. If someone truly wants to be at your wedding, they will come regardless.

i2012do · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_claiming-day?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:61bd9839-bbd6-43b4-9005-dab5ec130e8dPost:57197123-18ad-4381-8018-91bd114265ac">Re: claiming my "day"</a>:
[QUOTE]You know, I heard that the world is supposed to end in 2012, so maybe you'l get lucky and not have to worry about it.
Posted by cqbride[/QUOTE]

Funny because my fiance said the same thing. BNut its not ending till DEcember and our wedding is in August, we figured well charge our wedding in hopes that the world ends and we dont have to pay the $$ back and had an awesome time.

HAHAH JK!

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