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Hazel_B
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How Much Do you Say?
The other day a friend of mine got back from vacation. Since it had been awhile since we chatted, I had lots to say when she asked how the wedding planning was going. I'm the first to admit that the visions that she had for her wedding and I have for mine are completely different. So, I wasn't expecting to feel like I was competing in any way with her.
I don't think she meant to make me feel this way, but by the end of the conversation I felt awful about my wedding planning. We've been struggling to find that balance between budget and good food that suits that budget. By expressing these thoughts I felt like anything I said was being judged and criticized. I understand that she has been there before, but she doesn't seem to be coming from a supportive place when we talk.
For those of you planning or have already planned, did you restrict what you said to people?
I don't think she meant to make me feel this way, but by the end of the conversation I felt awful about my wedding planning. We've been struggling to find that balance between budget and good food that suits that budget. By expressing these thoughts I felt like anything I said was being judged and criticized. I understand that she has been there before, but she doesn't seem to be coming from a supportive place when we talk.
For those of you planning or have already planned, did you restrict what you said to people?
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Re: How Much Do you Say?
I can't say about wedding planning, but jealousy and competition isn't exclusive to weddings. In general, I'd try to say as little as possible to anyone. You're going to get everyone's opinions, and they honestly just don't matter. It's definitely hard, since you're so excited, but try to keep from talking about specifics.
I kind of feel the say way. Our weddings aren't in the same league, so I don't want to bother comparing them. We are planning on more than twice the number of people for roughly the same budget. We are planning something more casual in order to be able to do that. By saying that we needed to find that balance with the budget it felt like I was being accused of sacraficing quality and being cheap - which isn't the plan.
I guess I just shouldn't talk to her much about the wedding because I just don't want to feel bad everytime I do.
My Bio - updated 26/3/2011
Motolyn's House Remodel Blog Starting anew Nov. 2012.
My Bio - updated 26/3/2011
I do think it happens though during wedding plan where you go through stages where you're more stressed out and discouraged about things, and that's totally natural and okay, as long as you you don't stay there.
For me, what helped most was reminding myself that the whole point was to get married to my H. It wasn't to have the best wedding, the best food, to look the thinnest or prettiest, to impress our guests, to make everyone happy. If we got married, the day was a success. I think there's a lot of pressure by the wedding industry to get competitive and think you have to be original and creative and oh so perfect. So just by letting go of all that crap and remembering that I just wanted to marry my H, it helped me feel better and to see things more clearly.
Seriously, the NEY girls helped keep me sane, and I'm forever grateful. Don't be afraid to AW over and over to get opinions, advice, support, etc. That's what we're here for.
If anything, my talk with my friend just made me adament about things. It just made me focus on FI more, if what I was talking about fit our budget, fit our vision, we had good references for it and we were both happy with the decision than there was no reason to go beyond that in terms of opinions.
My Bio - updated 26/3/2011
My Bio - updated 26/3/2011