More help please ladies!

smokeybailey · April 2011

MisEsta · April 2011

lsvensson ,

My fiance is in charge of the pizza and beer

I do have all the info at home and Im pretty sure it's pizza hut. He already called and they said they would deliver to MB.
But once I get home, I'll pm you the info that I have.

LilMissScareAll · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_nevada-las-vegas_please-ladies?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:91Discussion:998584e8-1ca6-4bce-b8ad-7a0906fdc241Post:c9b4cb8c-ca81-4568-a662-1944f122d00a">Re: More help please ladies!</a>:
[QUOTE]Haha, I knew this post was going to blow up when I saw the OP. Good times, good times:)
Posted by Sara191431[/QUOTE]

My thoughts exactly.
I don't understand how people can ask for advice and when it isn't what they want to hear, they stick their fingers in their ears. Why ask in the first place?

missjets · April 2011

LOL you girls are a riot

I really have learned so much reading this board these last few months. I've only been in 1 wedding...and that was almost 8 years ago so my etiquette was not up to par until I began reading and asking questions...and Im sill learning

To to OP - I understand your need to stay within a budget. If you only have 15 guests (my estimate of close family and very close friends) you could do something for them for as little as $500. Here's a good article that shows how much is generally allotted for the reception:
http://wedding.theknot.com/wedding-planning/wedding-budget/articles/wedding-budget-101-establishing-your-budget.aspx

Charity

Sara191431 · April 2011

@smokey - Ha, nice.

@LilMiss - Yeah me either, I can't even respond to certain posts sometimes, just sigh when I see em.

MNVegas · April 2011

Since you don't care about etiquette or appearing rude to your guests, why bother with invites. Just write out post-it notes!

Sorry, know it is YOUR day, but that is no excuse for lack of manners.

ahhhitsshannyn · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_nevada-las-vegas_please-ladies?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:91Discussion:998584e8-1ca6-4bce-b8ad-7a0906fdc241Post:715bd73e-37eb-4472-8b75-f7306b2bf6b5">Re: More help please ladies!</a>:
[QUOTE]If you are not having a reception, do not invite people. If people are insisting on coming then you do not send them an invitation. I do not agree with having people travel and spend thousands of dollars to celebrate with you, and not host them correctly. <strong>If you are going to cake & champagne in your room, why don't you at least get some catering so you can really thank your guests? I know you can get El Pollo Loco for cheap, Fazolis, or if you want it a little nicer you can try Masterpiece. But please give them something.</strong>
Posted by ahhhitsshannyn[/QUOTE]

Oh, I guess I need a dictionary, I thought my first post was advice.

But I guess it does not matter since the only "advice" you want to hear is "do what you want its your day!!!!!!" Go on being rude to your friends and family and we will continue to do what we do here, which is give advice. My only hope is that you do not pass on your crappy advice to new brides here who are NOT wanting to be rude.

apratte3 · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_nevada-las-vegas_please-ladies?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:91Discussion:998584e8-1ca6-4bce-b8ad-7a0906fdc241Post:36a528f7-3e22-421a-8a6f-1abb9dc5c48d">Re: More help please ladies!</a>:
[QUOTE]Thank you ma'am! I'm probably going to be rude. I told some friends/family that I was getting married in Vegas and they said they wanted to come. I advised them that there would be no reception and they still want to come. Since they want to attend I want to give them something so they know where and when. If someone has some advice on something I can give them other than an invitation that says that I am all ears. We live extremely close to Vegas and most are using it as a excuse to go back; so while it seems rude and it is a DW they choose to come. I thank everyone for their advice/opinions although I will probably be rude and proceed as I had planned. Thanks again for your opinion.
Posted by MarryingmyKnight[/QUOTE]

I dont find what you are doing rude at all. As long as you are upfront and honest about what you are doing - people who really want to be there (for the RIGHT reasons, not just a feel meal) will be there regardless. I am eloping in Vegas and people have approached me about coming. I have been very upfront with them - this is an elopment - and if it means that much to YOU to witness my ceremony -come on down. However I am not hosting a reception in Vegas.

In my opinion - I dont know that invitations are required for this situation - but hell, if you want them - go for it! Paper is fun! If you google "ceremony only" invitations - you might find some good options or inspiration! Cheers girl - congrats on your pending wedding. We should all sit back and be happy for each other, regardless of how each bride decides to do things! If someone has an opion that differs from yours - great...but there are no rule books here and for anyone to say "you cant" or "you shouldnt", should learn to have an open mind.

While traditions and etiquette might exist - there are no laws or rules here. If those traditions and values are important to you - then you should follow them! If not, why should you? I found the following quote on a website about wedding etiquette:
"As weddings and their corresponding traditions have changed, so has the etiquette surrounding them. Things that were once inconceivable faux pas are now common conventions. The standards of proper etiquette are continually evolving and changing with the times, and modern brides (as well as modern guests) will be relieved that some old-fashioned manners musts can often be gracefully let go."

You asked for help on wording an invitation - you didnt ask if what you were doing was 'wrong' or if people thought you shouldnt. If someone has no interest in answering the question at hand - maybe they should move on to another post.

impslave · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_nevada-las-vegas_please-ladies?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:91Discussion:998584e8-1ca6-4bce-b8ad-7a0906fdc241Post:e4a30d62-0eff-4586-8373-f5873b6dfd80">Re: More help please ladies!</a>:
[QUOTE]Wow! <strong>It is funny to me how many people are upset that I am having a cermoney with no reception and inviting people. </strong> No one will be paying thousands of dollars to come, trust me. I have told multiple people about the wedding and we aren't having a reception and they are okay with it and asked to come to ceremony. People aren't uptight as you think. It is a small amount of people anyways; his immediate family, my immediate family and a couple friends. Anyways I was just looking for advice on how to word it. I'll figure it out. Thank you again!
Posted by MarryingmyKnight[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>I'm not upset. Your guests will be the ones to be upset. They may say they don't care to your face, but you'll be the talk for years to come. And it won't be pretty.

</div>

MeatAuditor · April 2011

As long as you've managed their expectations, and it sounds like you have, you'll be fine. No one will be offended unless they don't get something they expect. Time of day is important too. A 5 course meal at 2 pm might be strange. Cake and champagne would be nice at that time.

But back to your original question on invitation wording, I say just send the invite with no mention of a reception. You can rely on word of mouth, or you can surprise everyone after the ceremony. If everyone's already expecting a ceremony only, and then you invite them verbally for cake & champagne after vows, it could be a cute and unexpected surprise.

You really don't need invitations though. I think your guests have kinda invited themselves. That would generally be rude, but in this instance it sounds like they are all close friends and family that care about you.

j_jaye · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_nevada-las-vegas_please-ladies?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:91Discussion:998584e8-1ca6-4bce-b8ad-7a0906fdc241Post:2f4bc7b4-9551-435d-9f3d-7c2236201233">Re: More help please ladies!</a>:
[QUOTE] While traditions and etiquette might exist - there are no laws or rules here. If those traditions and values are important to you - then you should follow them! If not, why should you? I found the following quote on a website about wedding etiquette: "As weddings and their corresponding traditions have changed, so has the etiquette surrounding them. Things that were once inconceivable faux pas are now common conventions. The standards of proper etiquette are continually evolving and changing with the times, and modern brides (as well as modern guests) will be relieved that some old-fashioned manners musts can often be gracefully let go." You asked for help on wording an invitation - you didnt ask if what you were doing was 'wrong' or if people thought you shouldnt. If someone has no interest in answering the question at hand - maybe they should move on to another post.
Posted by apratte3[/QUOTE]

As an anthropologist who spends her time documenting and studying culture I find your statement extremely niave (no offence intended). Without so called societal rules (which include traditions, etiquette, mores, custom etc) civilisation would crumble (whether you choose to believe that or not- history is dotted with societies that have crumbled due to throwing out order). These things keep an order in society.
Things do change in society over time as the collective slowly accepts the change (in wedding terms think the registry) but by the amount of negative feedback received by the original post it is clearly evident that society does not find this change acceptable at the present time. In 20 years who knows but right now it is a huge no no.

The OP of course is free to ignore all the opinions and advice given but telling someone its your day do what you want is a very bold statement to make. By saying this you are basically saying anything goes. Therefore if I choose to start a new tradition (I am going to call it the prey mantis) where I kill my groom and eat him (with a nice chanti) and serve him to the guests as the main meal then that is ok by you.

Now before you say that I am being ridiculous with my example I was trying to make a point. Where is the line? Is it ok to make all the guests be nude, is it ok to charge admission to your ceremony etc. Society gives us the boundaries...yes there is some wiggle room and interpretation allow but when a group representing a cross section of society has such an outcry of the negative wouldn't you think that it is really not an ok thing to do.

To the OP- if you choose to go ahead with your plan my advice would be to treat it like an elopement. Do not send out invites and let your folks handle giving out the time and location to anyine interested in crashing and who ask for details. If anyone asks you straight out just we are eloping to vegas on the (insert date) and getting married at such such place and leave it at that. Adults are clever if they really want to attend they will ring the venue and ask the time or ring your folks etc. Leave it up to them to decide if they want to crash the wedding but do not invite them to attend.

aegrish · April 2011

OP, I agree with Smokey. Cake and punch/champagne is NOT appropriate for a DW. Guests deserve a meal. whether or not they say 'no reception' is OK is irrelevant. Heck if someone told me there's 'no reception' I would still think there had to be some kind of hosted DINNER for a DW. I would think reception would mean the 'extra' drinks, dancing, etc. Again, I would assume a hosted dinner is still involved...

Either way, What goes around comes around. If you insist on improperly hosting your guests, or not hosting them at all really, then you will get that treatment in return eventually. Whether it be before, during or after your wedding. people will not forget. trust me.

junebug61103 · April 2011

This is my opinion....like it or dont but I wanted to share...

I honestly believe that you should host something..whether it be a cake and champagne thing after in your suite or a dinner. Guests are coming to your wedding...you could AT LEAST spend the $20 on a 6in round cake from Retro and buy a bottle of champagne. If you don not want to host ANYTHING than you should consider it an elopement. And granted things and times have changed...and weddings are not the way they used to be...and I do agree that there is a little wiggle room to be unique and make your wedding events more personalized and fit your budget...but being proper is still "in". Its your wedding, you do as you please, but this board is to help fellow and future brides...you got on here, asked a question, and then got mad when you didnt like the responses. And then by basically stating that everyone who went against what you wanted was wrong...just made things worse. I think every bride on here has made a post or made a comment that wasnt received well by everyone...and thats okay...but there is no reason to be snotty when everyone was actually just trying to help you.

apratte3 · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_nevada-las-vegas_please-ladies?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:91Discussion:998584e8-1ca6-4bce-b8ad-7a0906fdc241Post:269b5583-02ff-46ca-95dc-fb344917c8b8">Re: More help please ladies!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: More help please ladies! : As an anthropologist who spends her time documenting and studying culture I find your statement extremely niave (no offence intended). Without so called societal rules (which include traditions, etiquette, mores, custom etc) civilisation would crumble (whether you choose to believe that or not- history is dotted with societies that have crumbled due to throwing out order). These things keep an order in society. Things do change in society over time as the collective slowly accepts the change (in wedding terms think the registry) but by the amount of negative feedback received by the original post it is clearly evident that society does not find this change acceptable at the present time. In 20 years who knows but right now it is a huge no no. The OP of course is free to ignore all the opinions and advice given but telling someone its your day do what you want is a very bold statement to make. By saying this you are basically saying anything goes. Therefore if I choose to start a new tradition (I am going to call it the prey mantis) where I kill my groom and eat him (with a nice chanti) and serve him to the guests as the main meal then that is ok by you. Now before you say that I am being ridiculous with my example I was trying to make a point. Where is the line? Is it ok to make all the guests be nude, is it ok to charge admission to your ceremony etc. Society gives us the boundaries...yes there is some wiggle room and interpretation allow but when a group representing a cross section of society has such an outcry of the negative wouldn't you think that it is really not an ok thing to do. To the OP- if you choose to go ahead with your plan my advice would be to treat it like an elopement. Do not send out invites and let your folks handle giving out the time and location to anyine interested in crashing and who ask for details. If anyone asks you straight out just we are eloping to vegas on the (insert date) and getting married at such such place and leave it at that. Adults are clever if they really want to attend they will ring the venue and ask the time or ring your folks etc. Leave it up to them to decide if they want to crash the wedding but do not invite them to attend.
Posted by j_jaye[/QUOTE]

As a Sociologist,who has spent all of her adult life studying various cultures and human behavior I find your views rigid and completely odd for an anthropologist (no offense intended). Traditions change, people differ, different strokes for different folks - and we should be accepting and welcoming of change and people who rather than travel the path of others, or even the path less traveled, they hop skip and jump over to the woods and create their very own path. There is a huge difference between large groups of people being disorderly and causing severe break downs in order in society, and the ever changing definition of traditions and values.

We agree on one thing - this woman is bold! She is bold because rather than be a sheep in this narrow minded world and just do what everyone expectsor demands her to do, she is living her life in a way that creates happiness and self awareness for herself. No lives will be lost by her decision. No laws will be broken. No intentional physical or emotional harm, no human rights violated. Your example, being so extreme, does not make the point I think you were going for. However, if you told your groom and your guests that they should expect that you were going eat the groom and then serve him for dinner...well then, they know what to expect. And if they are ok with that - well good for them! And if they dont agree with that - then maybe they shouldnt attend.

You know - at one time, very large groups of people would cry out that women should not vote...and in some cultures large groups feel that women should have no choice in choosing their groom...some people think that caucasians and blacks should not have intimate relationships...very large groups of people feel that gays should not have the same human rights as heterosexuals.

...just because a large group of people share an opinion, does not mean that that opinion should be the standard for society. Laws give us boundaries - not the opinions or traditions of a group of people.

To the original poster: You're getting married! That is fantastic!. A wedding is the marriage ceremony of two people. And should you choose to invite people to that wedding - that is wonderful! Anyone worth inviting will understand and respect your decision.

MarryingmyKnight · April 2011

Wow! I apologize if anyone thinks I was being snooty; I was just feeding off the energy given to me. I will say it again I appreciate all advice/opinions that were given. I still do believe that some of you did not give me advice as much as your opinion but I do appreciate that. I have received some real good advice and I appreciate that even more. I think I won the award for the most post and most controversial topic. Lol! I have to laugh at this because this got way out of hand. Anyways I hope that none of the new brides go through what I went through today because it was not nice at all. I almost thought I should just leave the group and not post here anymore. I was excited about being in the group but today almost changed that. Anyways have a good night and after I decide what I am going to do I'll put a post to let everyone know.

apratte3 · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_nevada-las-vegas_please-ladies?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:91Discussion:998584e8-1ca6-4bce-b8ad-7a0906fdc241Post:00621885-0a67-486f-b0f2-846b9bdff149">Re: More help please ladies!</a>:
[QUOTE]but there is no reason to be snotty when everyone was actually just trying to help you.
Posted by junebug61103[/QUOTE]

If someone wants to help - she was asking for advise on wording for a wedding ceremony invitation. She was not asking for anyone to impose or demand their own morals, ethics, or traditions on her.

apratte3 · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_nevada-las-vegas_please-ladies?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:91Discussion:998584e8-1ca6-4bce-b8ad-7a0906fdc241Post:3de98408-ac3b-49ec-b652-3df0dd4ae81d">Re: More help please ladies!</a>:
[QUOTE]Wow! I apologize if anyone thinks I was being snooty; I was just feeding off the energy given to me. I will say it again I appreciate all advice/opinions that were given. I still do believe that some of you did not give me advice as much as your opinion but I do appreciate that. I have received some real good advice and I appreciate that even more. I think I won the award for the most post and most controversial topic. Lol! I have to laugh at this because this got way out of hand. Anyways I hope that none of the new brides go through what I went through today because it was not nice at all. I almost thought I should just leave the group and not post here anymore. I was excited about being in the group but today almost changed that. Anyways have a good night and after I decide what I am going to do I'll put a post to let everyone know.
Posted by MarryingmyKnight[/QUOTE]

...considering a group of these posters have gone on to create another post to joke and poke fun of how they are responding...you're better off going elsewhere. Apparently this foum is full of adult bullies and you might be best served elsewhere. It isnt the first time I have observed such ignorance and intolerance - but it certainly is a shame. I hope in your personal life you are surrounded by mature women, who rather than try to break eachother down, support and embrace you for who you are and what you offer. Unfortunately, it appears this forum is being over run by 'mean girls'

smokeybailey · April 2011

Oh, lord, Apratte, really? She is a non-sheep, bold in her decision to NOT host her guests? Bold is going secular when your family is religious. Bold is marrying your boyfriend when you are a man. Bold is wearing red. Bold is not taking your husband's name (but still wearing your father's?) Not hosting your guests is rude and poor etiquette not bold. You can't say, "I am going to be rude and buck good manners," and be considered forward thinking. Etiquette is not tradition. Etiquette is manners and the proper treatment of those around you. It will never get old to stand up for an older person so they can have your seat. Saying please and thank you will never go out of style. Being hospitable and kind to your guests that have gone way out of their way for you is not a tradition to be thrown off like the oppression of not having the right to vote. It is simply good manners to reciprocate and host your guests. If they are not her guests, then invites are not necessary. That advice was given.

Also, as for the mean girls comment. Whatever. It doesn't hurt my feelings. I took it outside so it could be a more general discussion. This isn't the first poster to come up with this new "modern" philosophy of inviting guests and having them pay their way. Also, the freak comment was a bit much too. So into another thread where we could be silly and talk generally. If OP hadn't stomped her foot and declared that she was doing it her way regardless of etiquette, she wouldn't have gotten the response she did. You know that.

Also, if she had lurked for any amount of time, she would have known that she would get that kind of reception. It's a forum, not a therapy group. People will have different opinions. If she doesn't trust the opinions stated here...go ask the girls on Etiquette. Perhaps they will give her the answer that she wanted to hear.

tiffhiam · April 2011

Wow... I just started reading this post, you girls need to breathe!!! lol

Here is my suggestion because I am not doing a big dinner with all of my guests... I am going to Vons and ordering appetizer party trays! They are cheap but will feed lots and just doing appetizers and a drink in our suite with cupcakes. I would do something small like that, otherwise just skip dinner and go out on the town!!!! Good Luck!!! But in the end its YOUR wedding... so do it your way... and who cares what everyone else thinks you and FI just have to be happy!!!!

kara811 · April 2011

Agree 100% with Smokey.

OP, simply put it this way. If you ever invited your friends over for dinner, would you want them to pay for their own food and drinks? Just because it's a wedding, does not mean you get a free pass on being a gracious host.

What surgery do you need exactly? If you really need the money for that, then maybe you should just put off the wedding until you can save up for it or like Smokey suggested, don't have a DW(they're not always cheap), stay at home to keep the costs minimal. Or better yet, just elope. A wedding really only needs the couple, and officiant, and witnesses. Once you start inviting people to it, it doesn't just become about you, it's also about them. You need to thank them properly.

You mentioned on the other thread that you're military and don't have sufficient funds because of it. My H is in the military and we were able to have the wedding we've both always wanted. Just because you're in the military doesn't mean you can't have the wedding you want. There are so many brides on the MB board that work with what they've got and still have the most wonderful day of their lives. A lot of them also wait and save until they can afford it.

Lastly, call us "mean girls," bullies" and whatever else you want. But bottomline is, not hosting your guests properly is quite ill-mannered. Do what you want, it is your wedding, but if your guests don't enjoy themselves or you get negative feedback, then you only have yourself to blame.

tiffhiam · April 2011

My question... Why does everyone care so much?! Focus on your weddings!!!

I understand being on a budge and you can do a DW cheap, my advice check out the DW board, there is more than just that arent doing big dinners after their wedding! Just because most weddings do offer a meal doesnt mean you HAVE TO! However I would do something nice for the guests that came, maybe a welcom letter and a little gift or something to thank them for making the trip!

tiffhiam · April 2011

Wow sorry for my spelling errors!lol

ahhhitsshannyn · April 2011

Okay, we are obviously going in circles here. All I am saying is skip the invites, they are pointless. Your wedding day stops being about you when you invite other people. If you truly want it to be "YOUR BIG DAY OMGGEEE" then elope. But once you invite other people in to the mix- the day also becomes about them, and what you can do to thank them for being a witness to the commitment that you just made.

Congratulations on your engagement, I hope your planning goes well. Most of the girls on here are not mean, but when you ask for advice, and then say that the advice given is wrong, you come off like a snotty brat who does not care what anyone has to say anyway. I hope you stick around and scope things out, there is wonderful advice being offered on here every day and I know I would have made a lot of mistakes had I not asked. Continue to ask questions and browse around, but you need to be prepared for the advice that you are given, since you obviously don't know which is why you are asking.

Most of us here have planned and paid for their own weddings, so please do not pretend that we must be the assholes here who do not know what we are talking about. Take whichever advice you may, but just know one day you may live to regret knowingly being rude to your closest family and friends.

ahhhitsshannyn · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_nevada-las-vegas_please-ladies?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:91Discussion:998584e8-1ca6-4bce-b8ad-7a0906fdc241Post:143e1578-c810-490d-87ae-8389dfe62de2">Re: More help please ladies!</a>:
[QUOTE]My question... Why does everyone care so much?! Focus on your weddings!!! I understand being on a budge and you can do a DW cheap, my advice check out the DW board, there is more than just that arent doing big dinners after their wedding! Just because most weddings do offer a meal doesnt mean you HAVE TO! However I would do something nice for the guests that came, maybe a welcom letter and a little gift or something to thank them for making the trip!
Posted by tiffhiam[/QUOTE]

Honestly, I do not care what people do. BUT when you ask for advice, we were trying to help. Everyone here knows you do not have to do a big dinner or anything like that after, but OP wants to do NOTHING, or have her guests that she invites pay for themselves. That is rude and we were trying to point it out. Not the advice she was looking for, but advice either way.

tiffhiam · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_nevada-las-vegas_please-ladies?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:91Discussion:998584e8-1ca6-4bce-b8ad-7a0906fdc241Post:8c762a63-f66c-40a9-bb96-503748188deb">Re: More help please ladies!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: More help please ladies! : Honestly, I do not care what people do. <strong>BUT when you ask for advice, we were trying to help. </strong>Everyone here knows you do not have to do a big dinner or anything like that after, but OP wants to do NOTHING, or have her guests that she invites pay for themselves. That is rude and we were trying to point it out. Not the advice she was looking for, but advice either way.
Posted by ahhhitsshannyn[/QUOTE]

<div>Yeah but I dont think anyone actually answered her question. She was looking for invite wording weather you agree with how she is doing her wedding or not, its not for us to say. And everyone jumped all over her for how she is doing her wedding!</div>

MarryingmyKnight · April 2011

Yeah after all of this I never really got the advice I was looking for though I did get lots of advice/opinions. I am unsure why you guys think I didn't like the advice and got snotty, I did not. I just pointed out that everyone jumped on me and gave opinions which I appreciate. In the end I will do what is best for me and my FI and our wedding (not being snotty just telling the truth). Who knows how this will go? I am still up in the air about staying in this forum; today was very eye opening.

j_jaye · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_nevada-las-vegas_please-ladies?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:91Discussion:998584e8-1ca6-4bce-b8ad-7a0906fdc241Post:8542ec7f-1f1e-4a8b-b736-392bdaa9afe3">Re: More help please ladies!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: More help please ladies! : As a Sociologist,who has spent all of her adult life studying various cultures and human behavior I find your views rigid and completely odd for an anthropologist (no offense intended). Traditions change, people differ, different strokes for different folks - and we should be accepting and welcoming of change and people who rather than travel the path of others, or even the path less traveled, they hop skip and jump over to the woods and create their very own path. There is a huge difference between large groups of people being disorderly and causing severe break downs in order in society, and the ever changing definition of traditions and values. We agree on one thing - this woman is bold! She is bold because rather than be a sheep in this narrow minded world and just do what everyone expectsor demands her to do, she is living her life in a way that creates happiness and self awareness for herself. No lives will be lost by her decision. No laws will be broken. No intentional physical or emotional harm, no human rights violated. Your example, being so extreme, does not make the point I think you were going for. However, if you told your groom and your guests that they should expect that you were going eat the groom and then serve him for dinner...well then, they know what to expect. And if they are ok with that - well good for them! And if they dont agree with that - then maybe they shouldnt attend. You know - at one time, very large groups of people would cry out that women should not vote...and in some cultures large groups feel that women should have no choice in choosing their groom...some people think that caucasians and blacks should not have intimate relationships...very large groups of people feel that gays should not have the same human rights as heterosexuals. ...just because a large group of people share an opinion, does not mean that that opinion should be the standard for society. Laws give us boundaries - not the opinions or traditions of a group of people. To the original poster: You're getting married! That is fantastic!. A wedding is the marriage ceremony of two people. And should you choose to invite people to that wedding - that is wonderful! Anyone worth inviting will understand and respect your decision.
Posted by apratte3[/QUOTE]

Apratte I think you missed the point entirely and I would understand since you are coming from an entirely different view point being a sociologist. I never said change was bad and shouldn't happen just that society has mores and customs and etiqutte and that when a large group of society is saying something is not acceptable then maybe think about what you are doing. Especially in light of all the talk of thinking that guests will be fine with it. I also never said that I think any/all/some/none of societies current beliefs are right or wrong. Do I think it is right that in some middle eastern countries women need to cover up (no) but when I visit them do I abide by their customs and societal rules (yes).

MarryingmyKnight · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_nevada-las-vegas_please-ladies?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:91Discussion:998584e8-1ca6-4bce-b8ad-7a0906fdc241Post:14872b35-c471-4644-bffd-ff5144f203bc">Re: More help please ladies!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: More help please ladies! : Apratte I think you missed the point entirely and I would understand since you are coming from an entirely different view point being a sociologist<strong>. I never said change was bad and shouldn't happen just that society has mores and customs and etiqutte and that when a large group of society is saying something is not acceptable then maybe think about what you are doing</strong>. Especially in light of all the talk of thinking that guests will be fine with it. I also never said that I think any/all/some/none of societies current beliefs are right or wrong. Do I think it is right that in some middle eastern countries women need to cover up (no) but when I visit them do I abide by their customs and societal rules (yes).
Posted by j_jaye[/QUOTE]

LOL!~ I don't consider you a large group. AND I know the guest are fine with it because they told me they wanted to come. Anyways I hope we can end this thread and move on although I don't know if I will be staying with this group. Good luck to everyone on their weddings.

BreannaNicole · April 2011

I'm getting married in Sept. I am NOT hosting any type of "dinner/reception" in vegas. I will be having an actual reception back home in my hometown.

But as far as my invites, it says reception to follow at a later date. I included a card saying we were having a no-host dinner after the ceremony. I don't feel like I HAVE to pay for anyone to eat because they came to my wedding. I sent out invites to those I want to come to the wedding. If they do not come to the wedding because I'm not paying for them to eat, then oh well... The point of the wedding is that I'm marrying my best friend. I invite my friends/family to share in the day with me and watch me and my fiance get married. I dont care what anyone else says about how it's "rude" or whatever. I had a long conversation with my family about it and they all agreed that it's VEGAS. Everyone will want to go gamble, drink, & party. No one will care.

So, yeah... Everyone says "It's YOUR (and the fiance) wedding!" so just do what makes YOU(and your fiance) happy!

impslave · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_nevada-las-vegas_please-ladies?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:91Discussion:998584e8-1ca6-4bce-b8ad-7a0906fdc241Post:989aa7a1-1ffb-4ea9-87c1-0822441e2308">Re: More help please ladies!</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm getting married in Sept. I am NOT hosting any type of "dinner/reception" in vegas. I will be having an actual reception back home in my hometown. But as far as my invites, it says reception to follow at a later date. I included a card saying we were having a no-host dinner after the ceremony.<strong> I don't feel like I HAVE to pay for anyone to eat because they came to my wedding. I sent out invites to those I want to come to the wedding. If they do not come to the wedding because I'm not paying for them to eat, then oh well... </strong>The point of the wedding is that I'm marrying my best friend. I invite my friends/family to share in the day with me and watch me and my fiance get married. I dont care what anyone else says about how it's "rude" or whatever. I had a long conversation with my family about it and they all agreed that it's VEGAS. Everyone will want to go gamble, drink, & party. No one will care. So, yeah... Everyone says "It's YOUR (and the fiance) wedding!" so just do what makes YOU(and your fiance) happy!
Posted by BreannaNicole[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>*headdesk*

</div>

More help please ladies!

Re: More help please ladies!

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