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Out of town guests and hotel rooms...

kikigcakikigca
First Comment
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
I know I'm freaking out for no reason, but is there some "rule" about who should stay at my house and who should stay in a hotel?

Here is the problem....I'd say 90% of our guests are from out of town. Most of them were stationed with us in the Army years ago. Some are now disabled veterans on a tight budget. Then we have his whole family coming to Ohio from California.

How do we tactfully ask people to come to the wedding but pay for a hotel room....and have them not get mad because others are stying at our house?
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Re: Out of town guests and hotel rooms...

  • mica178mica178 member
    5000 Comments Fourth Anniversary 5 Love Its
    1. Contact the local hotels and see if you can block off hotel rooms at a discounted rates.  See if any of these hotels have special rates for military vets, AAA, etc.
    2. Can other local family/friends host some of your OOT guests?
    3. A wedding invitation is not a summons.  If someone cannot afford to attend, they cannot afford to attend.  Try your best to make helpful suggestions or provide what housing you can, but ultimately, if your friends cannot afford the trip out, they'll turn down the invitation.
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  • quotequeenquotequeen member
    2500 Comments
    People understand that if they are attending a wedding out of town they are probably going to need to get a hotel room.  It's perfectly normal, and people do it all the time.  You should not feel bad about this at all.  You could just say nobody stays at your house since you don't want to pick and choose (and probably don't really want to host people during that time anyway), or give preference to the closest family members, or those in your wedding party, or whatever you want.
    Married 10/2/10
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  • kikigcakikigca
    First Comment
    Thank you Mica!  Makes sense to read it. I'm a mess with al this planning.....I sould have stayed in Northern Cali and gotten married on a beach in Fort Bragg or Mendocino!
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  • kikigcakikigca
    First Comment
    Another good point....I think I'm going to have to send out invites and see who calls to ask about other less expensive places to stay before I start offering. I'd rather save rooms at my house for my severely disabled Army buddies!
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  • mysticlmysticl member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    We are declaring home a "guest free" zone.  For one thing how do you chose who gets to stay?  And we will have enough going on without dealing with houseguests. 
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  • M&R7111M&R7111
    500 Comments
    We have many out of town guests as well.  They are mostly FI's family, and FMIL has the worry that the family will just assume they can crash at her house (our house is way too small - we can only fit one other person!)  She's making it clear that her house will not be the "hotel" for the weekend.
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