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trying not to get stressed out...

DaughterOfHelaman2709DaughterOfHelaman2709
10 Comments
in Moms and Maids
Ok, so y'all know my story...

Between work and clinicals at the equine hospital (which are harder than I thought they would be, got bit yesterday!) I don't think I want/need two receptions. 

How awful would it be of me to cancel the one down home in WV and just invite everyone up here???  It's no big deal to call the Detroit temple and get the sealing ceremony changed, but I don't think many of my family members would travel.  Am I being seriously selfish at this point?

I talked this over with Chris; he is okay with whatever I decide.
December 18, 2010!!! Never thought I would be a winter bride; just hoping we don't get snowed in until AFTER the wedding!
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Re: trying not to get stressed out...

  • marissa_clairemarissa_claire member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Have you made any kind of definitive plans - contracts, etc?  Have you even starting telling people you're having a WV reception?  Because if not then it's not so bad to cancel the WV reception.  If you're so overwhelmed and not concerned with family being there, start considering a beach wedding.  I'd do it in a heartbeat except I grew up with a large family that I'm fairly close to, but if that weren't the case I'd be having a DW in no time!
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  • lalap69lalap69 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Your wedding is less than 3 months away.  I imagine you would have already told people about your AHR and probably signed several contracts.  Have your guests already made arrangements?  If guests have already made plans and arrangements to attend your wedding reception down home, then yeah, it would be pretty awful to cancel it and tell them to travel if they want to come instead.
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  • DaughterOfHelaman2709DaughterOfHelaman2709
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Ok... clarification time.  I'm having a temple wedding at the Columbus temple, and my MOH, FI and I are scraping together a reception at the local LDS meetinghouse.  My mother considers my ideas "tacky," mostly because I am having a late reception with a dessert bar, rather than a sit-down dinner, and because of my chosen profession, FI and I have a penchant for equine-themed decor. 

    Everything is free, with the exception of the decor we have been working on for the last few months.  I have enlisted the help of loving friends and Relief Society sisters to help me bring everything together. 

    The things that are stressing me out the most are my mother, his mother, my FSIL, my FBIL who wants to take things to a whole new level and dress like Jesse James (which my mom would never let me live down) and the fact that I don't know the bishop who is letting me have the use of the meetinghouse in Wheeling, as I was not baptized there.  This, of course, makes me a little uncomfortable. 

    My family knows that I am having a ring ceremony and reception for them after the temple ceremony,  but no invitations have  been sent out as of yet, and with everything that is going on, I am just a little overwhelmed.

    Thanks ,
    Kate
    December 18, 2010!!! Never thought I would be a winter bride; just hoping we don't get snowed in until AFTER the wedding!
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  • melissamc2melissamc2 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I mean this in a very nice way, because I've read your previous posts and totally understand yoru frustrations -

    You are allowing this to be so much more difficult and stressful than it needs to be.  Quit worrying about what so and so will think.  Quit trying to please everyone.  Stop and think, really THINK, about what will make YOU and YOUR FIANCE happy and do it.  I'm not saying not take anyone into account or to be selfish or difficult, I'm saying quit being a total people pleaser and losing sight of YOUR WEDDING.

    I don't advocate just running off for a beach wedding, because that isn't the answer for everyone.  I'd sooner get married in the Mall than on a beach, myself, so it's not a fix-all - however, neither is agonizing over everything and everyone.

    I don't know you, I only know what you post - but I think now is a good time to realize that you're an adult with your own life and what everyone's Mother thinks is not that big of a deal.  I am the Mother of four, one being a daughter who is 17.  When the time comes for her (and my sons) to marry - I do NOT want her to sacrifice what SHE feels strongly about just to placate ME.  I've HAD my wedding(s) and that's how I feel about ALL Mothers who try to press their opinions on thier children.

    If you've already got people in WV pumped for a reception, then I think you should carry through with it your way.  However, if no one knows about anything, then do it all there and don't look back. 

    Good luck!  I really hope you can start to enjoy your wedding planning at some point.
    10-10-10
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  • Muffin'sMomMuffin'sMom
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    It's a 90 day window.  Your family already knows the plans.  If you were my daughter I would tell you to suck it up and deal.  Consider it a short dry run for the 9 months you will be pregnant if you decide to have a family.
    My baby girl is a married woman...and now my baby girl HAS a baby girl. Time unfolds in such an amazing way. I've been blessed!
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