First Dances

caseylynne21 · March 2010

So here is the question...we only have two hours at the venue we are getting married at (may seem like a lot but not really- during this time is the only time that we get the photographer, and we have some snacks for the guests plus the cake cutting...then we have to go to dinner it may seem a little backwords but it is a prepackaged wedding)....since my parents are paying for the vast majority of it and because we are on a time constraint do i need to schedule a dance for the FH and MIL dance, even if my dad and i are having one? he hasnt given me a song yet and neither is his mom and i have asked several times... the planner needs to know by thursday and he has expressed he wanted to do it but hasnt done the work

danieliza1127 · March 2010

I don't think it's fair to skip the mother/son dance if you are going to the father/daughter dance. I would either do both or do neither.

If you need to skip something because of time, skip the garter toss and bouquet toss.

Kmartella4 · March 2010

I don't think it would be fair to skip the mother/son dance. Just talk to you FI and ask him how important it is to him and his mom. Maybe his mom really would like to do it.

There might be other things you can skip to make up time.

Mikayla11 · March 2010

You can try coming up with a few songs (maybe 3) that you think they would like and ask them to choose from your selections.

If they still haven't picked a song by Thursday, just pick one for them.

Unfortunately, you can not skip the Mom/Son dance if you are doing the Dad/Daughter dance. I agree with the PP- skip the garter toss!

I <3 Seabass · March 2010

I think it would be wrong to cut out the mother/son dance especially since you're still going to be dancing with your dad. Also, IMO it shouldn't matter who's paying for the reception. The wedding is about the both of you and you both should get the opportunity to dance with your parents if you want to.

Plus, songs are usually about 3-4 minutes (and you could even ask the DJ/band to play a shorter version) so skipping the mother/son dance isn't going to save you a ton of time.

As for them not picking the song, tell them the deadline and give them some suggestions. If they still don't give you a song then I would say that they don't get their dance. But at that point it was more their decision and not you just trying to cut it out because you don't want to waste the reception time on them.

trix1223 · March 2010

I as MOG three years ago. I have to say that I would have been furious if my DIL said "Well, I'm going to have a special dance, but we don't have time for you to dance with your son on his wedding day." Fortunately, my DIL is wonderful, thoughtful, and empathetic and would never in a million years suggest such a thing.

It's 2 freakin' minutes out of your reception. Is this REALLY how you want to start your relationship with your FMIL? It won't be pretty, and the hurt will last for a long, long time.

Remember, it's your FI's wedding also. Weddings are not just about the bride, and that's what you're making it sound like.

jenn.daniel · March 2010

Why don't you do the mother/son dance at the same time as the father/daughter dance?

duckie1905 · March 2010

Are you having any dancing for your guests? IMO, if you aren't going to offer your guests the opportunity to dance then there shouldn't be a parent/child or first dance either.

But no, it isn't fair to cut the mother/son dance if you are doing a father/daughter dance. Cut something else.

erollis · March 2010

I agree with pp. I was thinking you may want to pick one song that will work for both the mother/son and daddy/ daughter. All four of you can dance at once.

First Dances

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