Attire & Accessories Forum

BM's in Cowboy Boots

So my friend is getting married and i am the MOH in the wedding. Super excited for her. We are going dress shopping ofr the bridesmaids next month, and she is letting all the bridesmaids pick out their own dress and long as its knee length and the right color. Which is all fine and dandy, since their are 5 of us and we all are different shapes.

Now she is requesting that all bridesmaid wear brown pointy toe boots. And only one bridemaids own a boot like this. I myself have a  black dressy boots and brown work boots. I am not comfortable buying another pair of boots that i honestly will not wear but once. Boots themselves to get a good pair are at least $100.

I have tried talking to her about this but she will not listen saying she has always envisioned her Bridesmaids in brown boots even though the groom and the groomsmen will be wearing black jeans. And i know a few other bridesmaids (one in paticular is be very vocal) are upset about this too. But she will not budge on this. Are we being unreasonable?

Re: BM's in Cowboy Boots

  • I think you guys are being completely reasonable.  It's not fair to force someone to wear something as specific as shoes if you aren't the one paying for them.

    Talk to the other BMs and see if they will all agree to tell her that if she wants you to wear specific boots, especially since they are expensive, that she has to pay or you're wearing something else.
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  • Like the PP said, it isn't fair for her to demand that everyone where boots and not pay.
  • If she wants everybody to wear brown boots, she needs to buy them.   Boots are too expensive to require everybody to purchase them.  Besides that, if it was somebody like me, I only find Frye boots comfortable and those run about $400.
  • I agree, if she wants to force you to wear something you won't ever wear again, she needs to pay. Round up the BMs who are on your side and confront her about it. If she refuses to pay or compromise on a different shoe, just show up in whatever you're comfortable in.
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  • Nope you're being perfectly reasonable, you shouldn't be forced to purchase boots that the bride requires. 

    It's great that some of the other BMs are sticking together on this.  I wouldn't purchase boots, and if the bride brings it up, just reiterate "Sorry, but that is not in my budget".  The bride can biitch and moan all she wants, but she can't force you all to purchase something.  If she wants you to wear something specific (other than the dress) she should shell out the money for it.
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  • I think if she wants a specific shoe she should pay for it, but then I am buying dresses and shoes for my bridesmaids.  You really shouldn't have to purchase expensive shoes you won't wear again.  Maybe you could try to compromise with her and agree to wear a brown shoe that each girl chooses.  With different dresses I think different shoes would be cute.  Zappos has about 400 dress shoes in brown under $100.

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  • If she's demanding that you guys wear cowboy boots then SHE needs to pay for them. Bottom line.
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  • I agree with all PP's.  If she is stuck on brown boots then she needs to pay for them.  If she can't afford to pay for everyone's boots then she needs to be ok with you guys wearing what you like, if she wants she can do something similar to the dress and just ask that you wear a specific color (brown, most likely) and then let you go with it and either wear something you already have or else find something within your budget.  Good luck!  I hope she'll be reasonable about this.
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  • Send her here :-D  (or just email her this thread)

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  • I agree with PPs - I'd get together as a group (all the BMs) to tell her that you guys won't all be buying expensive boots just for her wedding.  Maybe as a group come up with some compromise/alternatives ideas for her to choose from - maybe brown heels?

    Either way, the choice really isn't hers - she can't physically force you guys to go out and buy the boots.
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  • I agree with PPs. Can you recommend that she pay for the boots and let you all pick a dress of your choosing?
  • You are being completely reasonable.  If she requires you to wear a certain shoe that you don't already own, she has to buy it for you.  You don't need to waste your money on shoes that you know you will never wear again so her pictures look how she wants them (with the exception of the dress of course).  Talk to the bride with the other bridesmaids, without ganging up on her, and tell her that you are uncomfortable spending money on shoes that you will never wear again, and that only one girl has.  Try to make a compromise, that you can wear whatever boots you already own.
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