Fiance and Parents disagree over the where of the wedding!

Re: Fiance and Parents disagree over the where of the wedding!

• audrewuh member

  

  February 2013

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_fiance-and-parents-disagree-over-the-where-of-the-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:683Discussion:fb4ac037-7320-4295-ac74-54e298c4a62dPost:206cd89d-07b5-4194-bdc7-219fe7e7247a">Fiance and Parents disagree over the where of the wedding!</a>:
  [QUOTE]So I've been engaged for just a few weeks now, but because January is the busiest month of the year for myself and my fiance professionally, we are just now looking at venues for the ceremony and reception. Problem is, my fiance and my parents can't agree on where.  I grew up in a pretty small town, and my parents<strong> (who will cover a large amount of the wedding budget)</strong> really want to have it there, or very close.  My fiance is from a much bigger area and hates the idea of the small town.  I'm simply at a stand still between the two. I see where both are coming from.  The small town doesn't have any hotels that would work for extended family (his would be coming from alabama to the north georgia wedding) or for friends who are spread out all over GA.  But I also see the sentimental ideas that my parents have, with a church that we know (it's not our family church- it wouldn't work there, but we know the people and the church that it would be at almost just as well...) and easier for planning purposes for it to be closer to home... I'm just stuck.  I've tried to look for venues within an hour from home, in hopes to appease both my parents and fiance, but I am a little worried that will just make everyone upset. Any suggestions?
  Posted by hgminor[/QUOTE]
  
  <div>If they're paying for a "large amount," then they get a large say in what you do. Ask them how far they would be willing to travel, but also understand that since they are financing the majority of it, they get to make more of the decision than you and your fiance do. </div><div>
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• GoodLuckBear14 member

  

  February 2013

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_fiance-and-parents-disagree-over-the-where-of-the-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:683Discussion:fb4ac037-7320-4295-ac74-54e298c4a62dPost:206cd89d-07b5-4194-bdc7-219fe7e7247a">Fiance and Parents disagree over the where of the wedding!</a>:
  [QUOTE]So I've been engaged for just a few weeks now, but because January is the busiest month of the year for myself and my fiance professionally, we are just now looking at venues for the ceremony and reception. Problem is, my fiance and my parents can't agree on where.  I grew up in a pretty small town, and <strong>my parents (who will cover a large amount of the wedding budget</strong>) really want to have it there, or very close.  My fiance is from a much bigger area and hates the idea of the small town.  I'm simply at a stand still between the two. I see where both are coming from.  The small town doesn't have any hotels that would work for extended family (his would be coming from alabama to the north georgia wedding) or for friends who are spread out all over GA.  But I also see the sentimental ideas that my parents have, with a church that we know (it's not our family church- it wouldn't work there, but we know the people and the church that it would be at almost just as well...) and easier for planning purposes for it to be closer to home... I'm just stuck.  I've tried to look for venues within an hour from home, in hopes to appease both my parents and fiance, but I am a little worried that will just make everyone upset. Any suggestions?
  Posted by hgminor[/QUOTE]
  
  Decline your parents money and pay for your own weding.  As long as mom and dad are paying, they get the final say.  Otherwise, your only choice is to reason with them that in your hometown, there are no accomodations for OOT guests and it is not reasonable to ask them to drive however long back to a hotel in the nearest city. 
  
  Or you could do what DH and I did.  We blocked rooms at a Philadelphia hotel and then rented a bus to drive all of our guests to the wedding 45 minutes away and then back again.

  Proud to be an old married hag!!

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• kaos16 member

  

  February 2013

  Is there anyway to compromise?  If someone offers to throw you an engagement party or shower, perhaps it can be in your hometown, and you can do the city wedding your fiance wants?  Maybe you can do your engagement photos, if you choose to do any, in your hometown at some locations that are meaningful to you and your family.   The reason I am suggesting it this way and not opposite is because you mentioned lack of available lodging for guests in the town. . . . that would be a deal breaker to me!

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• Jager1219 member

  

  February 2013

  The other thing to keep in mind is that it's a lot more work when you try and plan a wedding outside of the area you currently live.  It's not impossible by any means, but just more work.  You just need to plan weekends to go to that location for vendor meetings and try to do as much as possible during that time.  Depending on your vendors, you may need to take days off work as well.  For example, our food tasting at our venue had to be done on a weekday because the weekends they were busy doing weddings.  I need to take a day off to get the marriage license because it needs to be at the town hall of the town we're getting married in and they of course are only open M-F 8:30-4.

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