The Record article on Sept. 11 weddings

37 Butter Knives · September 2010

"A survey of 10 North Jersey reception halls yielded just two that had weddings booked for Sept. 11, which falls on a Saturday this year for just the second time since 2001."

http://www.northjersey.com/news/passaic_morris/passaic_town_meetings/102511569_Solemn_date_for_solemn_vows.html

I wonder - if the events of the day weren't known by the date they happened, would more people schedule weddings for that day? I certainly wouldn't - there's a higher likelihood in this area that there would be potential guests who were personally affected, and even a different name for the tragedies wouldn't diminish the impact.

But, I wonder if a lot of couples' apprehension to book that date is from telling people they're getting married on Sept. 11 (and, of course, having the anniversary on that date).

Was anyone here invited to a wedding tomorrow? Did the couples give their reasons?

rlb81 · September 2010

I went to a wedding last year on September 11th. The couple started officially dating on September 11th, 2001, so that was the significance.

Aside from my own wedding (of course!) it was probably the nicest wedding I've ever been to.

Heather822 · September 2010

That's very interesting... I know a woman has her anniversary on 9/11... they got together before 2001 though. She hates how every time people ask her their anniversary, and she tells them "Sept. 11" they respond with things like "oh that's too bad" or even "that's awful".
Obviously they chose the date before it had such heavy significance, yet she still feels like people give her the side eye when she says it.
I think, especially in this area, its just a somber day.... kinda like how a lot of people don't get married on Good Friday.

Laurms15 · September 2010

I know a couple that is getting married tomorrow. They wanted a fall wedding and didn't have many dates to pick from because the maid of honor is 9 months and 1 week pregnant. Sooo she's due in 3 weeks and they were a bit pressed for time.

TuffysMommie · September 2010

My birthday is the 12th, and I find when people even ask me about my birthday, I get the same "oh - so close to the 11th"

It's an extremely sad event, and that date and any time near that date will always have a somber connotation. I wouldn't plan a wedding on the 11th.

I can see the positives of a September 11th wedding (not thinking of the world event on that day - even though it is tough to block out, even for a short moment) - gorgeous weather, close to summer, etc. But to me, the sadness of the day is too great. (I also wouldn't plan a wedding near my birthday - but that's just me being silly.)

sgdc2011 · September 2010

I've been to a wedding on the 11, I guess it was the last time it was a Saturday before tomorrow. Honestly, I have no problem with it. You can't just stop your life and avoid the day. They put in a really nice note in their program that they were respectful of the day but they wanted to remember this day with happiness and love rather than sadness. It was very nice.

CM1206 · September 2010

I'm completely ok with going to a wedding on 9/11. But just curious as to the people who aren't ok with it (which is looks like everyone is), when would you be? When is enough time? Would anyone think twice about going to a wedding on Dec 7th? (Pearl Harbor attacked?)

uppereastgirl · September 2010

I wouldn't want to have my wedding on September 11th, but I'm perfectly okay with attending a wedding then. Am I the only one who doesn't think that a moment of silence or what have you is necessary (particularly because September 11 moments of silence take place typically in the morning?). You shouldn't have to add sadness to your wedding -- I think people can just assume that you know that an awful thing happened that day.

I also wonder when enough time will have passed that people wouldn't really think twice. I think the problem is in part that it is still pretty fresh in all of our minds, but also that there isn't a special name for the day -- it is just "September 11", not D-Day or Pearl Harbor Day or anything like that. So any time that date is mentioned, people instantly make the association with the event.

I'm going to a birthday party tonight and it hasn't occurred to me that the birthday girl should pick another day.

Emmiew · September 2010

I think this is definitely an area-specific issue, even though it was a world-changing event. FI is from, and was living, in Chicago at the time, and we have very different depths of emotions about it.

And even though the Milleniium hotel had a great rate, I didn't want my wedding guests staying at Ground Zero for my wedding weekend. We all have different responses to it, I guess.

clarereedy · September 2010

I think the difference between September 11th and December 7th is that we lived through September 11th. No matter how many years pass, I will never forget that people I knew died that day. I still have children in my classes whose parents never came home from down there. We had family members who we were concerned about coming home that day.

I completely believe September 11th should be a national holiday. I don't think we should ever forget what happened. My grandfather was a marine and to his dying day December 7th was an important day to him. He lived through it. He was there. This is our December 7th. I was actually relieved that this year's 9/11 was on a weekend. I still can't get through the moment of silence or have a discussion with students without crying.

I also could never have my wedding (or any event for that matter) today. I have too many family members who still attend services for friends and co-workers they lost that day.

kjones927 · September 2010

I'm actually going to my FI's cousin's wedding later today. I thought it was a little strange when we got the invitation in the mail and saw the date was Sept. 11, I know I would not be comfortable getting married today. I am not sure why they picked this date, but I know they have been together for years and living together and didn't want a long engagement. She wanted it to be September and I think they thought they would be able to save some money since it isn't a popular date. I know they did save some, but it wasn't as much as they hoped for.

I am curious to see if today is honored in any way at their wedding.

kristen309 · September 2010

Today is my fiance's brother's birthday. He hates it but there's obviously nothing he can do about it lol

Peacefield · September 2010

I read that article, too. I agree with the couples who are moving ahead and shame on any family giving them grief over it. Let's face it; how many babies were born that day and now have 9/11 as their birthday. Life really does go on.

Certainly, I mean no disrespect and my sincere condolences to anyone who suffered a tragic loss that day, but I'm going through some 9/11 weariness.

3,000 people were lost in the towers. 50,000 people lost their lives in Gettysburg (and not all of them were soldiers), yet most people can't tell you the year let alone the date(s) and certainly no one's calling for a national holiday to mark it. 9/11happened to us, it was an awful tragedy, we all knew where we were, we all know someone it touched, I suppose you could say the issue is innocents vs. combatants, it's more than just the big number. If that were true, why not have a national holiday for the OK City bombing? And when I talk to NY'ers (of which I am one), for too many, 9/11 seems to be all about the WTC and what it meant to them while appearing to forget about the Pentagon and the plane that went down in PA.
I don't mean to come across as callous, and none of these comments are directed to anyone here; this is just the way I've been finding myself beginning to feel about it. I worked in 7WTC which also fell that evening and knew many people who didn't come home that day. There are thousands of sad stories to come out of this day and I know quite a few of them personally. But I also believe in viewing that event in the context of our and world history.

37 Butter Knives · September 2010

I drove past Westmount Saturday night, and there was a big wedding letting out.

I wonder if Seasons did get a taker - I remember the bride here who said she got a quote of $100pp or thereabouts for that night.

The Record article on Sept. 11 weddings

Re: The Record article on Sept. 11 weddings

Choose Another Board

Search Boards