Ready to ditch it all

Re: Ready to ditch it all

• TheVirginians member

  

  October 2012 edited October 2012

  Your questions: Weather in SF? Look to your left to see the local boards and post SF weather ???'s there. Am I doing it wrong? Maybe. You are getting married next month so you are planning a party, not a wedding, for next year. That should simplify things a bit. No need to worry about gown, bridesmaids, cake, etc. for next year. Will a planner break your budget? What is your budget? We all want things we cannot afford. If a winery's out of your budget, I suggest you look at public parks or government owned venues as they are cheaper. If your and everybody's and everything's calendars are so full, then consider holding your party either inside or in 2014. Good luck!

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• Knottie1450123632 member

  

  October 2012

  weather in sf in nov can be chilly since its right on the bay and water.  as for ga i would look at further out from ATL.  there is peach brandy cottage in dawsonville.  there is pine resort in ga that you can rent cabins and the such.

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• Belle0720 member

  

  October 2012 edited October 2012

  A lot of people will tell you on The Knot that if you're getting married at City Hall next month, that's your real wedding. You can definitely host a vow renewal next year, but a big party is never necessary and if it's making your brain explode you certainly don't have to do it.
  
  But I do have a few suggestions for affordable barn/winery wedding venues in the SF Bay Area:
  
  Coyote Ranch in San Jose (click)
  Murrietta's Well in Livermore (click)
  Mountain Terrace in Woodside (click)
  
  I'd say November is pushing it if you really want an outdoor wedding, but you could try and make sure to have a plan b for rain.
  
  A wedding planner won't necessarily break the bank and I highly recommend getting one especially if you feel like you need some help. I'm using 2 Friends Events (click), they helped me put together a budget and gave me a ton of venue and vendor referrals which really helped me get started. Good luck!

  

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• Kmueller272 member

  

  October 2012 edited October 2012

  Sorry, I should've explained more in detail. The City Hall wedding next month is just for immigration purposes and will involve no family, gown or party, so we really wanted to have the experience with friends and family next year (don't want to do 2014 as we'll be moving across country then and it'll be even harder to schedule something).
  I simply feel completely overwhelmed by the planning experience. I can't spend my entire work day contacting vendors and putting together price overviews so I really have no way of raelly knowing what I can and cannot afford until I've talked to caterers.
  
  btw, we're anticipating 50-70 people at our wedding if we do it in the Bay Area. If it's in Georgia, add another 20-30.
  
  Do you think a planner would take all of this off my back and be able to present me exact overviews of prices, what's included and availabilities and most of all, make sound recommendations?
  
  EDIT: MissKristen, thanks for the recommendations, I hadn't seen these yet and they look great.
  
  EDIT2: our budget is 25k, just the event. Gown, honeymoon etc are separate.

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• anssett member

  

  October 2012

  Many people find wedding planning unbelievably stressful. Partly it's because many are trying to have a 'perfect' wedding, which isn't possible and leads to stress. Just tracking the details, even if you're not concerned with perfection, is nearly a second job for many. I'm not using a wedding planner so I don't know what they can/will do. I'm sure there's a spectrum. If you're only a month in and not even having ANY fun yet, get a planner! On that budget you should have some wiggle room and it's worth the price for your sanity.

  
  

  Also, Nov seems a bit late and cold for an outdoor wedding. Maybe aim for Georgia. There are venues that can include catering and decor and take a lot of that off your hands. It just costs more money, but is probably in your budget. Good luck and try to remember this is supposed to be mostly fun.

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• Kmueller272 member

  

  October 2012 edited October 2012

  So, I thought I finally saw the light at the end of the tunnel this morning when my original number 1 venue choice in Sonoma ended up having an April date available and for 4k less than the summer fees. After emailing back and forth with them all day and obviously getting excited about it, it turns out that they provide zero furniture and require you to choose from their list of 4 caterers and from their list of wedding planners. After talking to the caterers to just get an idea of what it would cost, I was floored by the cost. We were supposed to visit the venue tomorrow to make a final decision but that is probably not going to happen now.
  So I am back to square one.

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• SKPM member

  

  October 2012 edited October 2012

  We got married at Kenwood Farms and Gardens, about an hour north of SF. I highly recommend it! But I'm not sure I'd go for an outdoor wedding in November. We just had our first rains in the last couple weeks.

  
  

  
  

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• beardownbchs member

  

  October 2012

  If you really have your heart set on something outdoors and November is your only option, you could rent those large heaters (some of them are kind of pretty) and have baskets of hand warmers or gloves or something cute like that at the ceremony. You could even have waiters with hot chocolate. You could have a tent reception and use the same heaters. My fiance is an electrician and he sets those large tents up all the time and he said the walls hold in heat pretty well, as long as the tent walls are thicker. 

  I would go for an afternoon wedding because it will be the warmest time of the day and if it's really cold that day, make sure there in an indoors spot for people to wait in the warmth before the ceremony starts. 
  

  I'd just make sure to somehow mention the fact that it's outdoors in the invites or your wedding website so everyone knows to dress warm. 

  If I were a guest and if the ceremony was shorter, I wouldn't mind being a little cold at a beautiful ceremony as long as the reception was nice and warm and you planned accordingly. 

  Good luck!!

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• Kmueller272 member

  

  November 2012

  Thanks guys, we're looking at a new venue tomorrow and meeting a planner that recommended it. We'll probably aim for April now. Temps look decent enough for an outdoor ceremony and then indoor reception. Will report back on how it went tomorrow.

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• ta090607

  

  November 2012 edited November 2012

  I only read your post not everyone's reply but I just want you to know you are not alone in your frustration! I too was never a girl to "have it all planned out" I didn't grow up thinking of my wedding. So when we got engaged it was just frustrating. I felt pressure, I was crying, I hated everything I was looking at, AND I too was going to just hire a planner to do it all (mostly to alleviate the stress) It took 6MONTHS of back-n-forth decisions for us to decide on something we felt was "right". (my barnyard When we finally did, it all fell together. And now i am actually enjoying the planning and am glad I didn't hire a planner. It's still stressful at times, but it's mine and I love it.
  Good luck to you! Even when you feel like you are at square one and you have no other options, take a deep breath and hug your finacee' and remember..... HE's the reason for all this stress! Lol!!! 

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• Kmueller272 member

  

  November 2012 edited November 2012

  Update on this. In my utter frustration and cluelessness as to date AND location of my wedding, I was emailing with a very nice planner here in the bay area and she made all the difference. She told me about a fairly unknown venue that she'd done weddings at but they don't advertise - it's a private estate. Before I even signed a contract with her, she arranged a site visit for us and we loved it. The place is dirt cheap compared to what you get for your money at other places in the area. It's no barn but has so many other cool features that I was able to compromise on that.
  
  We signed both the planner (she clearly had done her homework and was able to turn my frustration around and got herself a new client) and the venue for 4/20/13. So now I am on the fast track ;-)
  
  Luckily I already found my dress this weekend and our save the dates are shipping this week. Phew :-)

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