Engagement Party Ideas

NatalieandJohnPalaggi · October 2010

My fiance' and I are hosting our own engagement party with approximately 80 guests. It will be at a bar, we were able to rent it out privately for our event. I was trying to come up with ideas, and will have small pieces of paper where our guest can offer "advice" to us. It seems like it might me challenging to play any games since we will be at a bar and will have a DJ. Can anyone offer any other ideas of games that we can play or things we can do that are bar friendly?

Thanks!

trix1223 · October 2010

Well, I'll get it started by giving you advice: it's an etiquette faux pas to throw your own engagement party. You really shouldn't be giving yourselves a party.

If you do decide to go ahead and throw yourselves a party, I'd just skip the "games" and let people socialize and enjoy the music. Skip the "advice" thing, skip games. Let people eat, drink, enjoy music, and talk to each other.

NatalieandJohnPalaggi · October 2010

Thanks for the advice, but we will continue to "throw our own faux pas engagement party" because we ARE paying for our own wedding and all the events leading up to it. We are NOT fortunate enough to have people cover these expenses, so you just do what you have to in these cases. Also, etiquette says that many couples are doing this now so it is what is. I appreciate your comments though. Thanks!

kathrynhabibti · October 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_engagement-party-ideas?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:32Discussion:5f0d005d-5807-4fb4-9cfb-c85c210c45e4Post:89a1e907-74ff-4aa6-adf1-9016be06f396">Engagement Party Ideas</a>:
[QUOTE]My fiance' and I are hosting our own engagement party with approximately 80 guests. It will be at a bar, we were able to rent it out privately for our event. I was trying to come up with ideas, and will have small pieces of paper where our guest can offer "advice" to us. It seems like it might me challenging to play any games since we will be at a bar and will have a DJ. Can anyone offer any other ideas of games that we can play or things we can do that are bar friendly? Thanks!
Posted by NatalieandJohnPalaggi[/QUOTE]

kathrynhabibti · October 2010

[QUOTE]Thanks for the advice, but we will continue to "throw our own faux pas engagement party" because we ARE paying for our own wedding and all the events leading up to it. We are NOT fortunate enough to have people cover these expenses, so you just do what you have to in these cases. Also, <strong>etiquette says that many couples are doing this now so it is what is</strong>. I appreciate your comments though. Thanks!
Posted by NatalieandJohnPalaggi[/QUOTE]
<em>People</em> might say that, maybe even a lot of them, but etiquette doesn't. You are never supposed to throw parties in your own honor.

NatalieandJohnPalaggi · October 2010

There are a few things that I noticed:

1. You have yet to address my original question...

2. You can't tell me what I've read about wedding etiquette.

3. We can agree to disagree

4. If you are not going to address the question at hand please don't respond

Thanks!

banana468 · October 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_engagement-party-ideas?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:32Discussion:5f0d005d-5807-4fb4-9cfb-c85c210c45e4Post:824f1dc3-423e-4727-b75a-ddebaeb4f57e">Re: Engagement Party Ideas</a>:
[QUOTE]There are a few things that I noticed: 1. You have yet to address my original question... 2. You can't tell me what I've read about wedding etiquette. 3. We can agree to disagree 4. If you are not going to address the question at hand please don't respond Thanks!
Posted by NatalieandJohnPalaggi[/QUOTE]

You can't tell people how to respond on a forum. That's the beauty of them. You can ask a question but you can't control how people respond.

It's great that you're paying for your wedding on your own. Many couples do that now. However it's not appropriate to throw a party in honor of yourself. The wedding isn't in honor of yourself so it's fine to host that. Engagment parties, showers and bachelorettes however are in honor of yourself and as a result, it's not appropriate for you to throw them.

BUT, you can certainly throw a fantastic party without calling it an engagment party. Call it a meet and greet and it sounds terrific.

And please - no games. You're having a great meet and greet at a bar and that's all people need to do. If they want to plan games that's great but please don't plan them on your own. In a bar atmosphere, most people just want to eat, drink and mingle. Those sort of cutesy games are usually reserved for showers. Let the shower hostess think of those things when the time comes.

NatalieandJohnPalaggi · October 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_engagement-party-ideas?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:32Discussion:5f0d005d-5807-4fb4-9cfb-c85c210c45e4Post:954df5ab-e5e9-46f4-b651-962a16b5b7a4">Re: Engagement Party Ideas</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Engagement Party Ideas : You can't tell people how to respond on a forum. That's the beauty of them. You can ask a question but you can't control how people respond. It's great that you're paying for your wedding on your own. Many couples do that now. However it's not appropriate to throw a party in honor of yourself. The wedding isn't in honor of yourself so it's fine to host that. Engagment parties, showers and bachelorettes however are in honor of yourself and as a result, it's not appropriate for you to throw them. BUT, you can certainly throw a fantastic party without calling it an engagment party. Call it a meet and greet and it sounds terrific. And please - no games. You're having a great meet and greet at a bar and that's all people need to do. If they want to plan games that's great but please don't plan them on your own. In a bar atmosphere, most people just want to eat, drink and mingle. Those sort of cutesy games are usually reserved for showers. Let the shower hostess think of those things when the time comes.
Posted by banana468[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Thanks for responding! You do have a point about forums, I just don't understand why you would respond or even waist your time responding if you are not even addressing the question... But that's just me... </div><div>
</div><div>Anyway, I appreciate your honest feedback about the games. I was concerned that it would be awkward without them. So I was looking for any ideas and maybe you do have a point about allowing people to mingle and enjoy the atmosphere.

</div><div>
</div><div>Thanks again</div>

mysticl · October 2010

Don't do games. They aren't fun. They are annoying. Unless you are going to go all out and do something like a Vegas Casino night. But if you mean the games traditionally done at showers and other pre-wedding events, just say no. At a party like what your's sounds like I'd want to eat, drink, talk to friends, meet new people, maybe dance. Interrupting that to play a game can be a party killer.

NatalieandJohnPalaggi · October 2010

LOLOLOL! Thanks!

glam70s · October 2010

I agree about the games.. Just assume that your guests are adults who are capable of entertaining themselves. I hate going to events where there are games - they make me so exceedingly uncomfortable.

And with the hosting of your own party and paying for it all yourself, generally if you don't have anyone to host those parties for you, you just wouldn't have them. Engagement parties and showers are in no way mandatory.

That said, before I started coming to the Knot, I wouldn't have thought twice about going to an engagement party for a couple if they were throwing it themselves. In fact I'm pretty sure I was convinced that that's how those parties were always done.

hannahhannah1 · October 2010

I just wrote in my blog about engagement parties! I got married in August and I just can't seem to get enough of this wedding stuff. So, I made a blog for future brides to read the secrets and tricks that I figured out. Check out my DOS and DON'TS and advise:

http://weddingdaygroundhogday.blogspot.com/

trix1223 · October 2010

hannah: enough with the blog. You've mentioned it in HOW many posts today?

kathrynhabibti · October 2010

[QUOTE]There are a few things that I noticed: 1. You have yet to address my original question... 2. You can't tell me what I've read about wedding etiquette. 3. We can agree to disagree 4. If you are not going to address the question at hand please don't respond Thanks!
Posted by NatalieandJohnPalaggi[/QUOTE]
1. I don't know, flip-cup?
2. I can tell you that you've read incorrect etiquette.
3. Not really sure what your point with that is.
4. I can respond however I'd like. If you want ideas without discussion, Google it.

No, thank you! <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-cool.gif" border="0" alt="Cool" title="Cool" />

trix1223 · October 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_engagement-party-ideas?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:32Discussion:5f0d005d-5807-4fb4-9cfb-c85c210c45e4Post:858ec715-e9c6-42a5-b7eb-2ecfffb8b025">Re: Engagement Party Ideas</a>:
[QUOTE]1. I don't know, flip-cup? 2. I can tell you that you've read incorrect etiquette. 3. Not really sure what your point with that is. 4. I can respond however I'd like.<strong> If you want ideas without discussion, Google it.</strong> No, thank you!
Posted by kathrynhabibti[/QUOTE]

"If you want ideas without discussion, Google it." Perfect. Absolutely. Perfect.

lynze386 · October 2010

throw your own party if you want to. my fiance and I are. we're payng for our own wedding too. i don't understand how people can get so upset that you're throwing your own engagement party. it's not their engagement so they can get over it! it would be hard to do games, but if you're having a dj find something that the dj could help with. a dance off kind of event could be fun. karaoke COULD be fun too, depending on your guests!!

banana468 · October 2010

It's not that people get upset. it's that it's not appropriate to throw a party in honor of yourself. You can certainly throw a party - just don't call it an engagement party.

NatalieandJohnPalaggi · October 2010

Some of you women are just CRAZY, and read wayyyyy too much into stuff. At the end of the day, it does not matter because I will do what I want regardless of what your opinion may be. Now as I mentioned before I appreciate the feedback. For the record, we will continue to throw our OWN engagement party... On the invite, we asked our guests not to bring a gift in a catchy way... So we are not having the party to get GIFTS!!!!!!

Despite how rude some of you may be I will still say have a terrific TUESDAY!

banana468 · October 2010

Please don't mention gifts at all on the invitation.

Those things just don't go well. Guests may think, "Does this mean that they just want cash? Are these things really gift giving parties? Why would I have brought a gift anyway?"

Just leave that part alone. A cute poem doesn't make it OK.

And still, why even call it your engagement party. Just call it a party. It's celebrating yourself that's inappropriate. Throwing a party is almost always a great idea.

SuMmErKuTiE · October 2010

OP none of the ladies on here were being rude at all, they were just stating the facts of wedding etiquette. Just because you didn't like what people had to say doesn't mean they were being rude.

These days most people are paying for their own weddings, just because tradition has changed, doesn't mean etiquette has as well.

heyimbren · October 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_engagement-party-ideas?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:32Discussion:5f0d005d-5807-4fb4-9cfb-c85c210c45e4Post:858ec715-e9c6-42a5-b7eb-2ecfffb8b025">Re: Engagement Party Ideas</a>:
[QUOTE]1. I don't know, flip-cup? 2. I can tell you that you've read incorrect etiquette. 3. Not really sure what your point with that is. 4. I can respond however I'd like. <strong>If you want ideas without discussion, Google it.</strong> No, thank you!
Posted by kathrynhabibti[/QUOTE]

The more I see you post kathryn, the more I like you.

OP, for my advice just see kathryn's post with the bolded part.

For the record- I will tell you as many times as I want to and respond to your post if I want to all to let you know that it is inappropriate for you to throw your own engagement party! <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-wink.gif" border="0" alt="Wink" title="Wink" /> Isn't it great how forums work like that?

But I don't think games ever fit in at an e-party. Showers, I can see. Maybe even a bachelorette. But I've never heard of "engagement party games" so I'd advise to anyone throwing one to skip them.

kathrynhabibti · October 2010

Thanks, trix!

heyimbren, I feel the same way. I think we see eye to eye on a lot of things.

NatalieandJohnPalaggi · October 2010

Would like to announce that our engagement party was a success!!! Everyone had nothing but POSITIVE things to say about it, despite the fact that we hosted it ourselves!!!

banana468 · October 2010

That's great.

Just remember most people don't say to the hosts, "I can't believe that you did this." since that would be rude of them as well.

It's great that you had a fun party. That others told you what was and wasn't acceptable according to etiquette wasn't to dissuade you from having a good time - it was just to attempt to guide you in the right direction according to appropriateness.

NatalieandJohnPalaggi · October 2010

While that may be true, the vast majority of our family and friends are "brutally honest" so if there was an issue we would of heard about it.

As far as feedback from this forum, I would've preferred that people would've address my "question" and not read so much into it... But as I mentioned before, it really doesn't matter because we will do what we want regardless of what anyone has to say. AND we had a BLAST!

banana468 · October 2010

If you don't want people to advise you on what is and isn't appropriate, why create a thread at all?

And my family is pretty honest. But no one told my cousin that they found his wedding invitations offensive or that they thought he took way too long on TY notes. Don't assume that because no one said anything that they're truly telling you how they feel.

And if you don't want advice, you probably shouldn't create a thread. People are going to try to advise you and try to help prevent you from making a mistake. It's great that you hosted your own e-party and that it went well. It was a bit of an etiquette misstep though so at least you're understanding it.

NatalieandJohnPalaggi · October 2010

Well, your cousin's experience does not necessarily have to be similar to my situation...

Now, I created the thread to ask a specific question about engagement party "ideas'" not etiquette... I just might agree with you if asked about the etiquette, but I didn't so I don't agree. Only a few people, answered the direct question honestly without giving "advice" that I didn't ask for. I don't have to be open to the feedback I receive just as you may not agree with our decision to throw an engagement party. As you have mentioned before, this is a forum and one cannot control how people feel, comment or post threads...

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