New Jersey - South

ugh $$ issues

doesn't this seem to be the story of the year!? it is so difficult. we have so many things we need to pay for it seems still (the rest of the photog, florist, dj, officiant, limo) and i have no idea HOW we are going to do it!! Luckily my parents are paying for the venue and reception - which is going to end up being close to 8-9000! and my dad just lost his job so its going to be tough, so obviously i cannot ask them for anymore help. my FI parents have helped us out so much along the way just as far as getting by - and now its like we REALLY need their help with other things adn we feel guilty even asking. we both have applied to several other places for 2nd jobs - we both currently work fulltime. and i dont know what else to do ... its getting down to the wire and its really starting to get to me and worry me more than it is him i think. i know a lot of people are in the same situation and i just wanted to see how they've handled it - i tend to get horrible anxiety over things like this. i even offered to have the rehearsal dinner at my parents outside by teh pool to save some $$ for the FI's parents and hoping they will help contribute to other things. its just so stressful - and im trying to enjoy all this planning but its just so difficult. any ideas, suggestions would so be helpful and i really appreciate anything you guys could say to help! thanks again!!

Re: ugh $$ issues

  • edited December 2011
    You are absolutely not alone!!  My parents are also paying for our reception but FI and I are paying for everything else, except the RD.  Looking at my spreadsheet makes me want to puke.  We literally put ever spare penny away - we have an ING account that takes a set amount out each week before we can even miss it.  I work OT but unfortunately FI can't.  We've cut back on a lot of monthly expensives (e.g. rarely eating out, enertainment).  It's hard, espcially since we both just finished grad school within the last year and we're only just starting in our careers (not to mention living in the DC area costs a fortune).  Between saving for the wedding, student loans and CC debt - it is incredibly overwhelming for us too.  You still have a significant amount of time before your wedding so if you start to cut back on other things, you might be surprised how much money you can uncover over the next few months. 
    Yorkie Jenga
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  • mhobbs919mhobbs919 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    thank you so much!! it makes me feel so much better to KNOW that we're not alone :(  good luck to you guys too, if you guys can do it, so can we! we really just need to cut back on everything we can, and we need to start NOW!
  • KJW324KJW324 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    We are right there in the same boat with you. But FI and I are paying for the entire wedding by ourselves so I know that if we can do it so can you. Like ppl said save every spare penny and cut back on a lot right now just until the wedding comes b/c believe it or not. we've saved a ton of money by not going out to eat all the time and by doing things at home instead of going out. Good Luck with everything
  • edited December 2011
    Another tip I have is to take a hard look at where your money goes each month.  We usually pay for everything through our debit card so it makes it very easy to track (vs cash) - I was SHOCKED to see how much we spent going out to lunch/dinner and on movies/sporting events/etc.  And here I was, tooting my own horn because I kicked my Dunkin Donuts habit last year and bring my own coffee to work.  It was a start but nowhere near enough. I'm by no means a frugal person (champagne taste with beer pockets!) but it's important to me that we not get into anymore debt now that we're in wedding mode so I cut coupons, shop at Sam's club and let go of my shoe/clothing fetish.  It sucks but in the long run, it's the best thing we could be doing right now!I also took a look (last night actually!) at the Money Matters board on the nest.  Sometimes you just need to know you're not alone!  
    Yorkie Jenga
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  • edited December 2011
    As PP said, having an outside savings account with money automatically transferred every payday helps.  I have ING and love it since it takes 2 business days to transfer money so I am not tempted to move money back to checking unless i really need it!Cut out eating out, bring your lunch to work, only buy neccesities when at the grocery store and other stores.  Try to drive less and combine trips.  Obviously you still need to have fun, but just budget how much you can afford to spend on fun monthly and don't go over that!  It is tough, but you will find the money.  FI and I are also paying for most of our wedding so we have had to really be good with spending.  GL!
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  • edited December 2011
    Welcome to the club! I get such bad anxiety sometimes about the amount of money we-both FI and I and our parents-are spending on this wedding. Up until 3 weeks ago FI was laid off. We got engaged in August and he was let go the first week in September. Suddenly we had to count every penny. We were never really bad with money but like pp we didn't realize how much we spent on stupid things like going out. We tightened our belts and we able to save money even with his unemployment and my income. It's been tough. I still get upset thinking about it and give myself panic attacks but I know we will be ok. I work partime and that helps and I'm doing alot for the wedding myself. We aren't having all the extras-chair covers, ice sculpture, lighting-like I originally wanted and that's helping too! Just try to stay grounded and remember this is one day but your marriage is forever.
  • edited December 2011
    Hi,I don't work due to a disability, so we are on a one income salary.  Some ways that we are planning to save...like Emily said...is to get rid of the extras:-Beer and wine open bar instead of full bar-only wedding cake as dessert-making my own invitations-having a family member video the wedding instead of paying a professional videographer-limited bridesmaids and groomsmen (flowers and gifts for them can add up)- shorter reception (4 hours instead of 5)-rehearsal dinner at parents' house...like your idea-limited number of guests invited (close family members and close friends....no co-workers or friends of our parents or people we haven't talked to in years)-take honeymoon at a different time -Getting married on a Sunday (Sunday and Friday and early Sat. afternoon weddings are cheaper)I know that some of these things may be important to you, so you and your fiance have to think what you value most.  But, cutting out anything that you feel is extra would be very useful in your overall cost.Good luck.
  • nygirl07nygirl07 member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I think a lot of us are in this boat and it stinks b/c it adds stress to the whole planning.  I also get anxiety attacks thnking about how much this is all costing us and our parents.  To make things tougher the money FI's parents were to give us was given earlier b/c my FI needed it to open his business so even though it was money for our wedding we had to come up with their 1/3 of the wedding plus our 1/3 in cash....We've done good so far...also using an ING acct but may end up around 2000-3000 short so instead of tourtuing ourselves me may just borrow the small amount and pay it back with gift money.  I didn't want us to be miserable trying to save every last dime and b/c of how our situation turned out with needed to come up with ALOT of cash I'm ok with it....but we have literally saved and paid cash for everything including our honeymoon so farGood Luck!
  • edited December 2011
    It is very tough and I understand what you are going through. Luckily my parents are paying for the reception but we still don’t know how much his parents will be contributing and the rest is on us. I am the oldest of 5 children and have such a large family. There was no way to have a small guest list or low cost wedding. I know it will turn out wonderful and we are saving in areas that we can. Also utilizing connections that friends may have or family members have recommended, sometimes it pays to know someone. FI and I also just bought a house so that is a huge expense. As mentioned before, cutting back on going out to eat, alcohol or maybe renting a movie then going out to see one can all add up. As well as an ING account or high interest money market account can really allow for extra savings.This also might sound really corny but FI and I have been picking up extra change that we find lying on the ground or have around the house. You would be surprised what those extra pennies add up to. We have also become coupon people. Its amazing what a piece of paper can save you at the grocery store, clothes, home depot ect. We have also gone through a lot of our things since we moved and things that we don’t use or need anymore we have sold on craigslist. We have made over $1000 just off of that. This is a stretch but also all of those contests that radio stations have we have won concert tickets and then shows we don't care about going to we put on ebay, we have made over $850 off of that as well. There is money to be made it just might be thinking outside the box and getting a little creative.
  • Crys&BriCrys&Bri member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I am feeling the stress as well... my mom who is helping us with some expenses was just told that she isn't getting her yearly bonus this year that she was going to use for the wedding! We are totally stressing out over it! It is a HUGE chunk of our budget... we will figure something out. We just have to remember that all of the headaches will be worth it in the long run :)
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