Wedding Etiquette Forum

How many toasts is too many?

Hi everyone,I'm wondering about the number of toasts at the reception that are appropriate.We've got Best Man, MOH, and both sets of parents, plus a brother which already brings it to 5.  If we've got some other friends who want to say something do you think that's too many?  Will people get bored?Thanks so much!Roni

Re: How many toasts is too many?

  • TBH I think even the extra brother is getting to be a bit much. I can tolerate 2 per bride or groom (i.e. attendant + parents). Any more than that and I roll my eyes.
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  • 5 is too many IMO
    The Bee Hive Est. June 30, 2007
    "So I sing a song of love, Julia"
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  • I think two total is enough. I would get irritated with anymore than that, unless they were all really short.
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  • I like toasts, but even I think that is too many. Can you move some to the RD? Who is hosting- parents? If one or both sets of parents is hosting, maybe they could make a toast at the start of the reception to start it off and then BM and MOH could do them a little later (just going off timelines of receptions I've attended)?
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  • I am weird. I actually like toasts. We didn't ask anyone to do one though. But then the best man did, then my 2 best friends, and then suddenly pretty much everyone in my H's immediate family did, including the very drunk uncle. My H is from a family of 12. So it got long. Luckily my family is shy and no one toasted me except my friends, only one of whom spoke. His family is very outgoing and they all wanted a piece of the spotlight, haha.
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  • Five is too many, we split up toasts between the RD and wedding so there were 2 at each.
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  • I would keep it to the BM and MOH at the wedding.  Ask the parents to toast at the RD. 
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  • We had 3  - Best Man, Maid of Honor and Matron of Honor. My brother in law's and my sister's were short and to the point. My MOH got a little long winded but choked up before it got uncomfortably long.5+ may be a bit much for one timeframe. Could you work them in at different times during your reception.
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  • The RD and reception split is a good idea
    The Bee Hive Est. June 30, 2007
    "So I sing a song of love, Julia"
    06.10.10

    BFAR:We Defined Our Own Success!
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  • I wouldn't do more than three. We had BM, MOH and my dad speak. DH's dad spoke at the RD.
  • IMO, no more than two and no more than 3 minutes ea. 
  • Are you having a videographer? You could have all the extra people who want to do toasts say it to the videographer instead.  We had several people who did that. They still got to say what they wanted but w/o slowing things down.
    The Bee Hive Est. June 30, 2007
    "So I sing a song of love, Julia"
    06.10.10

    BFAR:We Defined Our Own Success!
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  • Thanks for your insights everyone!  Unfortunately we're not having a RD, so we can't put anyone there.  I think I will probably try to split them up throughout the dinner so it's not so overwhelmeing.
  • I think you are going towards too many here. DD had MOH and BM as well asFOB and FOG make the speaches.  The dad's were VERY quick and basically welcomed their new son/daughter into the family and moved along.
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