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Wedding Woes

Sad...

Well, just to sum this up very quickly.. I am surrounded by 3 weddings.  My sister's, one of my close friends and mine.  We have in common mothers that are not supportive of our weddings.. They never ask or show interest in the planning.  My sister even said to me that our mom asked why she is planning to even change her last name? and that she should remain with her maiden.  I find that such a wierd thing to say to your daughter when, in a week she's getting married!?My mother never asks me how I'm doing, never asked to see my dress, flowers or even when I sent the venue to her in an email, her only reply was 'nice and classy'.  That was it.Our parents even stepped back and are only helping financially, at a min.  My sister's fiance's family stepped up to the plate for them, which was very nice of them.  And well, my fiance and I are paying for most of it.  Whatever my parents are spending on my sister's wedding, they plan to do the same amount (not to sound ungrateful, because anything HELPS, but I feel that I'm back to being that younger daughter getting the hammy downs)... My mother even plans to wear the same IVORY outfit she plans to wear at my sisters wedding, for mine!! (I'm wearing an ivory dress!!!).  The only thing that my mother enjoys talking about, is if HER outfit will look nice.My friend is trying to get her mom more involved but she's crushed at the lack of support.  What is going on with these moms?!?!They are all good men in our lives, I just don't understand the lack of support.  I feel so alone....
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Re: Sad...

  • L_WoodsL_Woods member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Who's got that Oprah thing all lined up?
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  • TheDuckisTheDuckis member
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    HAMMY DOWNS???? BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I hope to God 1980 isn't your birth year.
  • hmonkeyhmonkey member
    Ninth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    getting the hammy downsAWESOME.  :: adds to vocab between "diddlyfark" and "loofa" ::
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  • **O-Face****O-Face** member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 25 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    I prefer beefy downs.
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  • hmonkeyhmonkey member
    Ninth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    HAMMY DOWN![img]<a href="http://images.paraorkut.com/img/pics/glitters/p/pig-7475.gif" rel='nofollow'>http://images.paraorkut.com/img/pics/glitters/p/pig-7475.gif</a>[/img]
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  • E SquaredE Squared member
    Sixth Anniversary 500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I prefer Hugh Downs.
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  • mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    No one is going to be as excited about your wedding as you are.  Weddings or wedding planning might not be your mom's thing.  My mom wore ivory to my wedding...I guess my marriage is doomed. You're lucky.  Many people who come on here who's parents are paying or contributing to their wedding, complain about how their mom/parents make it all about them.  (not to sound ungrateful, because anything HELPS, but I feel that I'm back to being that younger daughter getting the hammy downs)  It's 'hand-me-down' and it usually has nothing to do with pork products.
  • edited December 2011
    Hammy downs? For real?
    "I would be sad if sex was only about the climax, lame." Someone who is obviously doing it wrong
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  • tawillerstawillers member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    1.  Hammy downs?  SMH2.  So your parents can't afford to pay for two weddings at the same time?  You don't think that is totally understandable?  Not to mention they don't have to give you a dime.3.  It's reasonable for your mom to want to wear the same outfit and not have to pay for two.Put your big girl panties on.
  • **O-Face****O-Face** member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 25 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    Second thought, it would be REALLY bad if your mom wore your sister's gown to the wedding.  So...
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  • edited December 2011
    "hammy downs"?i think i'm going to use that.
  • HeffalumpHeffalump member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    I guffawed so hard @ hammy downs.  Methinks the mom is keeping their conversations short because she can feel more brain cells die every time she talks to her daughter.  After reading this post, I can relate.
  • edited December 2011
    *Hammy downs*? I suddenly have an image in my head of you holding a giant ham looking sullen. Your mom's aren't required to be ecstatic and all up in everything. Think back - have they ever been? Perhaps this is just a personality issue. Perhaps you just need to sit down with your mothers and say, "We'd like you to be more involved and the way you've been acting when the wedding comes up has really hurt my feelings." It's call communication. Adults do it. Also, who cares what color she is wearing and if it's the same dress and if it ~gasp!~ is the same color as your dress. No one is really going to notice anything but the girl in the big *IVORY* dress. Not the woman off to the side in the normal sized *ivory* dress.
  • jojobrnjojobrn member
    Eighth Anniversary 2500 Comments 100 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    1. Hammy downs!!!!!2. Oh dear God. I wore an ivory shade for my dress. My Mom wore ivory.Oh noes! My marriage is dooooooooooooooooooomed!!!!!!
  • DG1DG1 member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    OK, spelling aside, how is it a "hand me down" if you're getting the same amount of money as your sister?  It's not like they're buying her cake and you get to serve the leftovers. They're giving her $X and you're getting $X. Not your sister's beat up $X.  And yeah, most people are really only interested in themselves. You can take some comfort in the fact that people will give her the side-eye for wearing the same dress to both weddings.Finally, do you have any idea how many people would love to get $$ with no strings attached? Would you rather she say, "This is my $X and we're spending it on a green cake that will be served at your wedding by a clown on stilts whether you like it or not!"

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  • edited December 2011
    DED @ Hammy Downs. DED. I'm sorry, I may revisit this when I stop laughing at your pork problems.
  • TheDuckisTheDuckis member
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    DG has a good point. What makes you think you're entitled to more money than your sister? And would you have rather your mom told you your venue looked old and smelled bad? Because that's what my mom said about my first choice venue.
  • edited December 2011
    I've got the hammy downs = the new way to say I am having a bad day and want greasy food.
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  • ~~Busy.~~~~Busy.~~ member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I'm sorry your mom isn't into your wedding.  Try not to focus on it.  It's a waste of emotion.  Focus on starting a life with your future hubby.  Also, making sure you have a sunnier disposition towards your children than your mother has towards you and your sister.As for the money, STFU.  Saying you are greatful and then complaining still stinks of being a brat.If your mom looks like a bride at your wedding people will laugh at her.  You are the bride, no one will confuse the two of you.
  • tawillerstawillers member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    TD - she thinks she should get more money because her sister's FI's parents are helping financially and her own FI's parents aren't.
  • edited December 2011
    Hammy Downs could also be the runs.
    "I would be sad if sex was only about the climax, lame." Someone who is obviously doing it wrong
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  • **O-Face****O-Face** member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 25 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    Or a place where they race pigs.
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  • edited December 2011
    How did you make it to almost 30 without learning it's hand-me-downs?Ok. I'm better now. You aren't entitled to anything, be happy your mother offered you something. Better yet, be better she's offering you and your sister the same, and not being all up in your business about planning. Also... maybe she's fond of the last name she gave you, and that's why she wants you to keep it.
  • edited December 2011
    If you google hammy downs there is an actual hammydowns.com and if you search images marijuana comes up. I'm amazed by all of this.
    "I would be sad if sex was only about the climax, lame." Someone who is obviously doing it wrong
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  • **O-Face****O-Face** member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 25 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    And yet...still nothing?
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  • edited December 2011
    I'm so glad some of you find this amusing.  Pointing out my immaturity? lol hmmm very interesting. Trolling boards like these just to make yourself feel better? - now that's very mature! ;)Thank you to those who gave good advice, your the mature ones.
  • edited December 2011
    i know you are, but what i am i?
  • TheDuckisTheDuckis member
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    The mature ones are MINE! Shauna said so!!!
  • edited December 2011
    Trolling the boards, hmmm? Last time I checked we were regulars.
  • E SquaredE Squared member
    Sixth Anniversary 500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    My what the mature ones?
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