Wedding Etiquette Forum

Help! Weird invitation situation

At my dad's request (and because she's a hoot), I'm sending a wedding invitation to his ex-wife (he's still married to my mom, but everyone gets along and there's no drama).  Two of my nephews are staying with Vera this summer, so I'm sending one invitation for the three of them.My dilemma is that Dad asked me to be sure to put "no gifts, please" on Vera's invitation.  We don't want gifts anyway, and haven't done a registry, so I woud be fine with this--except that every etiquette book I've read so far has said it's tacky to mention gifts on a wedding invitation.I'm going to enclose a personal note to Vera anyway, mainly to subtly indicate that we do, indeed, wish she could come (she's a bit sensitive, and I want to make sure it's clear that her name isn't just on the invite because my nephews are staying at her house), so I am trying to figure out a delicate way to indicate that we're not trolling for gifts.  Any suggestions?  All the other invitations have been mailed, and here I am obsessing over this one!

Re: Help! Weird invitation situation

  • Do you know why specifically your dad wanted this note on hers?  That could help assess the situation.
  • Just send her the same invite as everyone else. If her name is on the invite, she'll figure out it's for her and not just because your nephews are there. Instead of a note, just call her. Don't mention gifts unless she brings it up, and then just say you aren't registered anywhere.
  • I'd send her the invitation and a few days later follow up with a phone call.  "I hope you received our invitation.  It would mean so much to us if you can be there."Leave the gift part out. 
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