VENT - please tell me this would make you mad too!!!

Marksgirl92509 · July 2009

So last night FMIL decides she wants to invite more people. After we already mailed our invitations!!!! We had them calligraphied and everything and now we have to send out these new ones handwritten which makes me crazy because I want them all to look the same. Then she said if we didn't have any more invitations she would go out and buy some different ones!!! WTF???? Anyway, besides that we specifically asked her 3 times since we got engaged if she wanted to invite these people (we asked her specifically by name - 2 of them are FFIL's brothers) and she said NO!!! Now she wants to invite one of the brothers and one of FFIL's friends. Don't you think if we invite one brother we should invite the other? Anyway, it makes me and FI so MAD because she is doing this now and we already sent out the invitations. PS - one of the brothers lives with another brother who was invited and his envelope was calligraphied. So now when he gets his invitation and its handwritten he will know he was an after thought! UGH!!!

rel830 · July 2009

Wow, that is really annoying. Ordinarily I would say draw the line with her, but it sounds like you were thinking about inviting these people anyway so maybe it's worth inviting them - not because she asked but because you were considering it anyway before. How long ago did you send the invites? Maybe you can try to do the calligraphy on these invitations? (I did the calligraphy for ours - it takes a little practice but it's not too hard.) I would also make it clear to her that you're not adding anyone after this. Sorry you're dealing with this, but I hope it works out...

Lisam0198 · July 2009

I had the same thing happen to me. I asked MIL a million times about her guest list and inviting certain people and she gave me her final total. I sent out invitations and then a week later she comes to me and added 30 more people!!! I completely freaked because we didn't have enough invitations and would have to order more (I had already spent $500 on invitations) so she went to Michael's and got some of those DIY invitations and printed them up to match the wording on my invitations, without even asking me first. She came over with them all excited that she "fixed" the problem and at that point I completely washed my hands of the situation because I was so upset. I know it's annoying and inconsiderate of her but try to make the best of the situation. There's no need to add extra stress right now so just go with the flow and try to relax.

Marksgirl92509 · July 2009

rel830 - can you tell me a good instruction book or website on how to do calligraphy? I'll try to do it myself. Thanks for the advice everyone!

rel830 · July 2009

I got a book at Michael's that came with a couple calligraphy pens. It showed you how to do the letters and had pages to practice. You could probably also find some tutorials online (here's one page: http://doit101.com/Crafts/Calligraphy.html) Depending on how your normal handwriting is, you might even be able to make the envelopes look nice just by writing in a calligraphy pen. If you only have to do three envelopes, hopefully it won't be too much of a hassle. HTH. Good luck!

starshollow · July 2009

My dad added people after I got mine calligraphied and sent them out. I just used my printer for the additional 2 invitations. It didn't look as nice, but I tried not to let it bother me.

jhkh09 · July 2009

My FMIL did the same thing to us. Looking back, I think you should let it go and roll with it, as long as adding new people doesn't break your budget.My FMIL came to us as we were sending out the last of the invitations (FI did the calligraphy) saying she had just had a weekend with her best friends from high school, and even though they won't come (they live in Texas), she realized they would have really hurt feelings if they didn't get invited. We had 2 spare invitations ( after setting one aside as a keepsake). TWO. I called several guests and asked them if they would mind not getting an invitation (my kid brother, who could care less, my cousin who lives in Mexico and doesn't even have a mailing address, etc.), scrambled t put them together, just to make FMIL feel better. It was worth it (but I bitched a lot at the time). It was the only time she's pulled something like this, and she specificalyl said that she would be more than willing to chip in in case they decided to come and wrecked our budget.The fact that she's so wishy-washy on the guests makes me wonder what she'd say if you were like "the invites are out, we don't have anymore." If she wants to "buy more," it sounds like she'd really like them to attend. As far as the two brothers living together, I say you punt. Ask someone with nice handwriting to write the invite out in a black think pen or marker. He probably won't notice. Or, you can try and print directly onto the invite using a calligraphy fond.Or, you can take up calligraphy (not worth it in my opinion unless you're going to do them all, sinc eyou have to buy all the stuff.)

Knottie07763429 · July 2009

Holy crap Lynn!!!!!!! Hit up Kristine's...they may be able to refer you to a local calligrapher. That is BEYOND Fcuked up of your FMIL though.

SuMmErKuTiE · July 2009

Uggabug.. that would have drove me up the wall! I hate when you ask someone repeatedly about something and once everything's set in stone they want to all of a sudden do what you had asked of them several times already. Just take a deep breath and send out a few mismatched invites. I'm totally OCD and I know this would bother the heck out of me too so I feel your pain! :0)

SillyLGoose · July 2009

Yikes! That would drive me nuts! I agree, go along with it. But no more after this; make it clear! And double check that she doesn't want to invite that other brother too. As much as I totally get wanting to have all the invites match I don't think the average person notices the calligraphy out the envelope. I would also feel the same way about wanting them all to match just because I'm ocd like that. I think push comes to shove just writing them out in a nice pen would do.

fisher.rc · July 2009

Hey- I know this is a little deceitful, but if the other brother asks why his invite isn't calligraphed, you could just say that the calligrapher messed up the zip code so his invite came back to you, and you had tow handwrite it/print it ... just a thought. We didn't have to use that for late invites, but we did have invites with wrong info come back that we ultimately had to print.

caitcance · July 2009

I would be furious too! If she tries to add any more, be strong and say NO!

hawaiianskye · July 2009

I know how you feel. I had mine decide she wanted to invite 10 of her cousins (that my FI has never even met himself, even though they are his 2nd cousins), after the fact. And then to make matters worse, my FI's entire family is incapable of RSVPing on time. I got probably 75% of their cards back 2-3 weeks LATE. I think sometimes its like they could care less about how it stresses us out!! I have had everything imaginable go wrong with my planning so far. Due to the selfishness and inconsiderate nature of people. I have begun to live by the theory: god is great, beer is good, and people are crazy! Hang in there!

VENT - please tell me this would make you mad too!!!

Re: VENT - please tell me this would make you mad too!!!

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