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***CHEATING***

blue19violetblue19violet member
100 Comments
in African American Weddings
LMFAO, to quote Mrs. Cat "That's not cheating if I just lay back and enjoy the ride. I won't touch him!" What do you consider cheating? Would you be more upset if your fi/hubby had an emotional (no sex / he's falling in love with her) or sexual affair? Can you forgive either? What if he cheated with someone that you both know *a friend, a family member, an ex, a baby mama?* What would it take for you to forgive if he cheated with someone you know?
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Re: ***CHEATING***

  • OFFOFF
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Dang we getting deep for a Tuesday. I'd be more upset with an emotional affair. It means we have disconnected somewhere along the way he should have come to me so we can discuss it and work it out. Sex is just sex if someone throws themselves at him I'm not going to be mad he pulled out his catcher's mitt. He'd better not cheat with a friend, they'd never find either of their bodies.
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  • the catthe cat
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I don't care if he just pinches her winky...IT'S CHEATING AND SOMEBODY GONNA DIE! But really, I don't think I can forgive cheating for whatever reason (if i'm being faithful) It just violates everything you believed in as a couple (unless it's an agreed upon threesome). I don't think I can forgive him cheating with anyone. I just don't see that happening, and I've been in that situation before. Then, i overlooked it b/c i was doing it too.
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  • proverbs31bride09proverbs31bride09
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
      I have always been faithful in my past relationships. I have had 2 past relationships before my fiance and both times I was cheated on. I'm not going to be very forgiving at all. I told my fiance if it happens ONE time it's over. I consider cheating to be not just sexual but emotional too. Emotional can be just as deep as sexual in my personal opinion if that individual is focused more emotionally on that other person then they are their SO/Spouse. I definitely can't forgive sexual cheating. My FI knows there are 2 reasons I would ever leave him 1) Abuse and 2) Cheating. My FI knows I have been insecure. I use to get a little upset when he even just says HI, how are you doing to another woman when we are out and about. However, I have learned to get past that. He is just friendly, and he does customer service on his job so it's just second nature to him. If he cheated with someone we both know that would hurt me a LOT more then if it was someone I didn't know.The only way I could forgive is if we went our seperate ways. Speaking from past experience I tried to forgive from past relationships after giving a second chance but I always was insecure, and would be paranoid about their wherebouts especially when I couldn't get a hold of them right away.The only way I forgave them was when we went our seperate ways.Now, if it was just emotional cheating I can forgive that AS long as my FI admits to his mistakes, apologizes, and we can move on to the point where he feels the need to be more emotionally involved with someone other then his wife.I have been learning to be really attentive to my FI's needs/wants so I can ensure that he doesn't feel the need to have to be involved with someone else.
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  • romeys_brideromeys_bride
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I wrote about this before.... I really dont know. I can see how sex can be unemotional, so like OFF, I would be more hurt by the emotional cheating.... (texting, internet, phone calls, etc)
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  • candydipcandydip member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Cheating is cheating.  Ain't nobody playing with DH!!!
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  • alfdallas21alfdallas21
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    well Candy & Cat summed it up for me -- DITTO to what they said...I CAN'T, I CANNOT!!!
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  • MrClintonsFirstLady09MrClintonsFirstLady09
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Blue, this is kinda serious for a Tues afternoon, but this is real and is happening with couples all the time. Cheating is cheating whether it is emotional or sexual. I would be more hot (if that makes sense), if his emotions was attached to this person because that means that somewhere along the way we got disconnected which opened the field for him to attach his emtions elsewhere. If it was physical because I wasn't giving it up often enough then that is easier to correct than breakin an emotional tie. I would not kill him for a physical affair (but it would be hard to get around it easily), but an emotional one, that is a playground for disaster and there is no telling. I don't think I would forgive him if that was the case. If he cheated with my friend, someone I know, or family member then boo boo gots to get hurt! I would not kill him but he would be flirtin' so close with the grim reaper, he will wish he would just die already. There is no forgiving on that! That's a boundary no man is suppose to cross! and my so call friend, acquaintance or family member will no longer exist as far as I was concerned because they knew better too.If it was his baby mama or an ex, depending on the circumstances of those two, I may be able to end that. If he was emotional tied to her still, then that is a no win and she can have it because I cannot sit around and wait to get hurt more. He would have to go but not before I clean his a$$ out.  
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  • Ladysun083Ladysun083
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Definately emotional cheating would be worst for me, once u have his mind its only a matter of time before u give him the jelly beans! And hell to the naw for the cheating with family, screw the both of them
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  • ShaylaDaPimptressShaylaDaPimptress member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Omg.. my of my co-workers(an unmarried w/ 5 kids male) was just telling me that every man is going to cheat.. which i totally DISAGREE with.. but anyway.. to answer the questions..(had to vent..he had me heated) I wouldn't forgive either. You cheat.. u gone. I would be more upset over physical.. because I've only given myself to him so I expect the same. And OMG if it was a family member or a friend.. I might end up in the pen! There is no forgiving that. If someone loves you I feel they wouldn't even be able to stoop to that level of filth!
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  • Mrs.JKforeverMrs.JKforever
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Cheating in my book = as* kicking [IMG]<a href="http://i28.tinypic.com/24zb2j4.jpg" rel='nofollow'>http://i28.tinypic.com/24zb2j4.jpg</a>[/IMG]
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  • BlutifulScorpionBlutifulScorpion
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I learned a hard lesson years ago... You HAVE to forgive people when they betray or hurt you. What you DON'T have to do is stay and put up with their mess! Forgiveness isn't about the other person. It's to free YOU. So I would choose to be free...and free his @$$ right along with it. And whether it was emotional (which would hurt the most) or purely physical, relative, friend, or stranger...it would all hurt. I'd have a hard time letting go of the deceit so I'd have to let go of him.
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  • aquarius125aquarius125 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Cheating is just unacceptable PERIOD! To each its own whateva works for them but i know what I will and will not tolerate. I LOVE MYSELF too much to be taken for granted! Now with that said IMO when a man cheats and establishes a relationship with someone else it's a wrap there really is not any coming back from that. He is gone emotionally and we all know how that goes. Now cheating for pleasure is just disrespectful and selfish!
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