Shoes

ad.marse7 · July 2009

What is the normal price for the bridal party to pay for their shoes. There is a shoe that I like that is 59 and will be dyed to match the dresses. Is that tooo much?

MOBinFL2008 · July 2009

Dyed to match shoes are rarely worn anymore but if you want the girls to have them, you need to pay for them. Remember, just like bodies, all feet are different and not everyone can wear the same style. Why not have them all wear a metallic shoe of their choice?

ad.marse7 · July 2009

I am not questioning the dyeing part. I am questioning the price. I have paid for every pair of shoes that I have been in a wedding including dyed shoes. I was asking about the price for shoes in general. Thanks.

ad.marse7 · July 2009

My bridesmaides dresses are navy and ivory.

trix1223 · July 2009

I am going to ditto MOB. #1) Not all shoes fit all feet comfortably. #2) Died to match shoes are useless after a wediing. #3) If you are going to require that the girls in your WP wear shoes that may be uncomfortable and that they'll never wear again, you should probably pick up the tab for them.One last point: if the dresses are floor length, no one will see their feet anyway. As a guest, I could not possibly care less about what BMs wear on their feet, especially under floor length dresses. Ok, I don't really care what they wear on their feet with cocktail length dresses either, unless it's something like ugg boots with a soft pink chiffon dress.

MOBinFL2008 · July 2009

Well, can you afford to pay $59 for every BM's shoes? If you can, then that price is fine.

ad.marse7 · July 2009

All of my bridesmaids that came agreed on navy shoes. The dying is included in the price as well so it wont be 80. I tried some on 2 days ago and they were comfy and cute. Every wedding I have been it none of the shoes were comfy.

banana468 · July 2009

If they all agreed to the dyed to match shoes then great. I'd advise them to find a dyed to match that they prefer rather than one you tell them to get. Feet are so unique. You can tailor a dress to fit but if a foot is just 'off' a bit in a shoe, you may have very uncomfortable BMs throughout your wedding day.Also, think about silver as an option. That could be a really elegant color in contrast to the silver and ivory of their dresses.

ad.marse7 · July 2009

I thought silver would be better but the bridesmaid think Navy is better because they think the ivory will clash.

sapphirebaby926 · July 2009

I have to agree with banana - not everyone's feet are shaped exactly the same way. My mom and I wear the same size shoe but she can't weat flats because she has a high arch and they are really uncomfortable for her. I agree with the silver shoe option - my bridesmaids are also in navy and they are getting silver shoes to go with and they look really good together

duckie1905 · July 2009

If you can afford $59 shoes for each girl than its great. If you can't then let them pick their own shoes.

cravecase · July 2009

Personally its a bit much for what I would be willing to pay.

mbcdefg · July 2009

$60 for a pair of dyed shoes that your friends will only wear once is absolutely ridiculous. If your BMs insist on purchasing navy shoes, then let them pick their own style of dyeables and then tell them exactly what color to choose. Otherwise, if you're picking the shoe, then you're responsible for the cost. Really. Do your BMs honestly think anyone attending the wedding will give a flying hoot about the BMs' shoes? I would remind your BMs of this and then push for the silver shoes again - and if they STILL want dyed shoes, then wash your hands of it and let them figure it out themselves.

swans alive · July 2009

That's far too expensive for shoes they'll never wear again -- if I'm spending $60 on shoes, I want to be able to choose them. You pay for them -- at the least, offer to split the cost with them. $60 is too pricey.

StessFreeBride · July 2009

59 wouldn't bother me, as I usually expect to spend that or more on a pair of shoes. I think that is what you are asking.

ad.marse7 · July 2009

Thank you stress free bride. All I really wanted to know is basically how much is the shoes that all the brides picked out for their bridesmaids. All the weddings I have been in the brides have just picked out the shoes on their own and the bridesmaids never had an option. They were all cute shoes but maybe not the the most comfortable but I did not care because that is what they wanted and I loved them and it was their day so they could have whatever they wanted. Every wedding that I have been in ever girl has had the same exact shoe and 3 of the weddings I have been in were dyed shoes. So i don't think it is a bad request from them because almost all the girls that I have been in their weddings are in mine. I have paid 50 dollars for shoes before for a wedding as well. I have 10 bridesmaids and that would be costly to buy everyone their own shoes. Plus I am moving to England at the end of my honeymoon and really do not have 500 to spend on shoes for my girls. Sorry for ranting. I thought people think I am way oever the top when majority of wedding I have been in the brides have picked one sshoe that everyone has to get and no questions asked.

banana468 · July 2009

OP, I have to buy shoes for an upcoming wedding and I agreed to it however I do wish that I had an option so that I can wear them again.I think the finances have changed for a lot of people as well so it's nice to try to remove some of the financial burden off the BMs whenever possible. Since shoes are hardly ever seen, that's one of the places where many advocate going with something neutral that gives the BMs more control over what they wear and over their wallet as well.

sapphirebaby926 · July 2009

when I was in my sister's wedding she just asked us to get a dyeable sandal for our shoes but she let us pick out what would be comfortable for us. It would be considerate of you to do something similar instead of forcing everyone to wear the same shoe. I'll give you a couple of examples here why this might be a good idea:1) I don't walk well in heels and have fallen flat on my face more than once wearing them so if I was forced to wear them then I would be praying I don't fall while walking down the aisle and would be incredibly embarrassed if I did. 2) I'll use my mom again with the high arches - if she doesn't have a shoe that has good arch support then her ankle tends to roll on her. She would have fallen down a flight of stairs one day if my dad hadn't been there to catch her

mbcdefg · July 2009

All the weddings I have been in the brides have just picked out the shoes on their own and the bridesmaids never had an option.But that doesn't make it right. I don't get why their shoes matter. People won't look at their feet, mismatched shoes will not ruin your photos, and I will be incredibly surprised if you spend more than two minutes of your wedding day thinking about your friends' feet. But I actually did answer your question. I think that $59 for a pair of shoes (much less shoes that'll only be worn once and then donated to GoodWill) is a ripoff. I could never fathom asking my friends to spend $60 on shoes that can only be worn for my wedding. Plus, dyeables are incredibly fug. I've been to a few weddings where I happened to notice the BMs' feet and saw dyeables and just thought to myself, "Ick, how ugly." Why not be a considerate, fashion-forward bride and just require the silver shoes? When you go out to a party or to a wedding, do you make sre your shoes perfectly match your outfit? No, right? I'll bet you wear neutral shoes to coordinate, like black or silver or gold. So why should bridesmaids' dresses be any different?

duckie1905 · July 2009

Plus, dyeables are incredibly fug. They remind me of 80's weddings in which everyone wore perrywinkle blue poofy dresses with huge sleeves and gloves (and teased hair to the ceiling, of course)!

swans alive · July 2009

I answered your question, too. $59 is entirely too much to pay for shoes they'll probably never wear again. No one is going to even notice their shoes, they don't have to match. And if you want them to match, YOU pay for them -- or like I said, at least split the cost. I'd be a lot more okay paying $30 for the shoes than I would $60.

duckie1905 · July 2009

I'm sorry that in the past the brides you were a BM for found it necessary to ask you to pay $50 or more for shoes you would never wear again. I would refuse-especially if they were dyeables. It just isn't fair to ask them to purchase a dress and shoes they will never touch again. Let them pick their own shoes so they have a chance to wear them again. Think that too, in addition to the dress and shoes, they may be purchasing shower and wedding gifts for you, maybe getting hair and makeup done, as well as purchasing jewelry. All this adds up to a lot and if you can allow them to pick out their own shoes they'll be able to pick something affordable that they can wear again or maybe even have something they already own that would be acceptable.

LarissaAnn · July 2009

Dyeables can be re-dyed black after the wedding and worn for many years thereafter. $59 isn't bad at all to me, but it really depends on your bridesmaids' budgets. Ask THEM if $59 is too much. I've been in weddings where we all wore the same shoe, and luckily I was fine. I can wear a lot of different shoes, though, I have easygoing feet. Really, have your bridesmaids try on the shoes and make sure THEY find them comfortable. If not, I'd let them pick whatever dyeables make them comfortable, and let each have a different style of shoe that still matches the dress.

lyndausvi · July 2009

I'm happy to say I've never been asked to buy a certain shoe for any of the weddings I've been in. I didn't ask my BM's either. Actually, I can not tell you even what shoes they did wear. I know my 8.5 month pregnant BM was happy to not to have to wear heels because the others wanted heels. And my 2 SILs who love to wear 4 inches heels were happy not to have to wear flats because of the pregnant BM.Shoes are such a personal thing, I would just pick a style (strappy, closed-toes, etc) and color and let them go from there.

LarissaAnn · July 2009

Ah, me too then. I'm all for dying shoes to match, but letting each pick her own style; that's exactly what I did. My sis and one other BM had sandals, and the third BM had closed-toe shoes. I know for certain, in fact, that one of my BMs has shoe issues and actually tore a muscle in her leg because she didn't realize her arches were too flat. Now she needs orthotics. So my instructions to all of them were: Get shoes to match the dresses, in any style that'll keep you comfortable and dancing for 4+ hours. If that means ballet flats, that's fine. If it means 4" platform stilettos, that's fine too.

shawna77inil · July 2009

I don't believe that $59 for a pair of shoes is too much, but I agree with the previous posts that you should allow the bridal party to pick the shoes that they like and have them dyed a specific color. My MOH and BM are wearing different, but similar, dresses and probably different shoes too. The MOH hasn't picked hers out yet. To me, this was one of those things that I just didn't want to stress out about. I asked them to find similar dresses but to make sure that they both felt like a million dollars in what they were wearing because I didn't want them to be miserable all day. One ended up finding a brand new with tags dress for $60 on Ebay that was originally a $180 dress. Again, to me, it wasn't one of the things that I wanted to stress about. Both of my girls are going to look fabulous, feel like a million dollars (which will show in each and every picture they are in) and be comfortable all day. That, to me, is the perfect wedding party. :-)

ffmaid · July 2009

Other then winter boots or hiking boots I have not paid $59 for a pair of shoes in the last decade. Including my own wedding shoes. As your BM I would be very annoid as I woudl be almost 100% chance of being in foot pain with shoes picked out by another person and to pay $59 for uncomfortable shoes is a sure way to make me miserable. You can alwa7ys tell when brides pick the shoes at the wedding reception because it results in teh BP sitting down looking uncomfortable at the reception instead of dancing.

paula2131 · July 2009

Something else to keep in mind about dyeables -- they often come from the same company, so while there are many styles to choose from it is still very possible that a BM may not find one that's comfortable for her foot. Think about all the engineering that goes into running shoes and people certainly have preferences about those brands... i.e., people that will never wear Nikes because it gives them shin splints. Or people that can't buy clothes from a certain store because they don't fit "right." The more options, both style-wise and price-wise that you can give someone (and presumably this is someone you care deeply about ), the happier you'll all be.

LarissaAnn · July 2009

Wow, really, ffmaid? I've got more over-$59 shoes & boots than I can even remember offhand. And I'm a big fan of DSW, so a lot are discount & sale... where do you find 'em so inexpensive?

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