Not inviting cousins

skits_1 · July 2009

We're just in the beginning phases of planning our wedding. The venue we love only holds 60 people, and we can def make that happen with our guestlist of very close family & friends. We made a headcount of cousins and in total were looking at 30 people. I've suggest to FI that we have the "no cousins" rule since we are really not close with any of them. Some in my family, we have nto seen in 10 years. He;s on board and so is my mom. My question is: has anyone ever done this and how did it go over in your extended family?

Night_Sprite · July 2009

If you don't see them, don't invite them and don't worry about it. If anyone asks, just say it was a small wedding because of space restrictions.

danieliza1127 · July 2009

We didn't invite any of my cousins. They grew up in Mississippi, I grew up in Indiana. I haven't seen them since I was a kid, and I'm 31 now. It was a no-brainer to me not to invite them. Their parents, my two uncles, didn't care at all. We've just never been close ever. But how it went over in my family may be different than how it went over in yours. As long as you, your FI, your parents and his parents, think it's okay then just do it.

mocha beans · July 2009

I don't see a problem with it because you have space restrictions. Some people might get all up in arms about it, but there's nothing that can be done about it.

lyndausvi · July 2009

I had a cousin who did not invite us cousins (24 of us, which means 48 with SO). It was a non-issue.

LucyD1029 · July 2009

My FI's cousin didn't invite any cousins to her wedding and we were fine with it. I thought it was a little odd that she chose to invite friends and not the cousins she grew up with (they were really close as children/teenagers), but we understood that she wanted to keep the guest list down. However, every time we've seen her since then she's apologized profusely for not inviting us. I think she feels guilty and I wish she she'd just let it go. Yes, we get it, you wanted to have a really small wedding (she invited 80 people, 60 came) and not invite your cousins. Just make sure it's not something you're going to regret down the line. I have cousins I don't see every often, but I couldn't imagine not sharing my wedding day with them.

TheSaltyPeanut · July 2009

I think it's perfectly fine... it's your wedding, do what YOU want!

bombtones · July 2009

That was originally our plan because I have so many cousins, but I do see them 1-2x a year. In the end, my parents didn't feel it was appropriate not to invite everyone. I crunched the numbers and basically said its going to cost $X to invite all these people. They were fine with it, so bring on the cousins! We aren't inviting any young cousins- basically everyone 18+

amymoidl · July 2009

If you haven't seen them in 10 years and your FI and family are on board with it, I wouldn't invite them. Honestly, if my cousin whom I hadn't seen in 10 years invited me, I probably wouldn't go anyway (if it involved traveling).Plus, since you are having a small intimate venue--you have a perfect excuse

cruella013 · July 2009

We also had a small wedding and decided to invite only immediate family and close friends. I did invite a couple of cousins, but these were people I'd call on the phone and talk to, and see when I travel to where I grew up. The "friend" aspect of our relationships trumped the "cousin" thing.

ffmaid · July 2009

It varies family to family a ton so my experience and yours would be very differnet talk to parents siblings grandparents to see what the effect would be in your family.

aimerzkd214 · July 2009

I have a first cousin who only invited aunts and uncles to the wedding and it did not bother me and I see him and his new wife and kids at least twice a year, they were just trying to keep cost down and we all understood.

laurening · July 2009

It definitely depends on the family and also the expectations set by previous family weddings and events. You're probably in better shape by having a small wedding at a venue with restricted space. You could casually spread the word that you are having a small wedding with only immediate family and close friends. This way the cousins shouldn't be as surprised that they don't get an invite and aren't thinking that you're having this 150 person event and excluded just them.

Not inviting cousins

Re: Not inviting cousins

Choose Another Board

Search Boards