Bridesmaid Gifts

vix_jean · June 2010

I purchased bracelets, and I would like to have bridesmaids and maid of honor wear their own earrings and neclace if the choose. Are the going to expect me to buy earrings and a necklace? Should I warn them that I won't be doing that. I want their gifts to be a surprise... help...

http://www.etsy.com/listing/33181597/crystal-bridesmaid-bracelet

stina93446 · June 2010

Jewelry for your wedding is not a gift.

Also, why would they expect this? Have you told them "hey I'm buying you jewelry."

stina93446 · June 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bridesmaid-gifts-11?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:83d5ec49-dad8-47a1-9077-21e6f1dd0008Post:63550377-808d-4c9a-b655-9f606dd37bd2">Bridesmaid Gifts</a>:
[QUOTE]I purchased bracelets, and I would like to have bridesmaids and maid of honor wear their own earrings and neclace if the choose. Are the going to expect me to buy earrings and a necklace? Should I warn them that I won't be doing that. I want their gifts to be a surprise... help... <a href="http://www.etsy.com/listing/33181597/crystal-bridesmaid-bracelet" rel="nofollow">http://www.etsy.com/listing/33181597/crystal-bridesmaid-bracelet</a>
Posted by vix_jean[/QUOTE]

mbcdefg · June 2010

I would show them the bracelets ahead of time. They seem like the kind of jewelry where not everything would "go" with them. If a BM shows up in a pearl necklace or yellow gold earrings, that's going to look bad with these bracelets.

I would also get them something personal in additon to the bracelets. Because it's part of their uniform for the day and I assume it matches their dresses/your color scheme, and not something specifically for them and their individual tastes. So show them the bracelet photos beforehand, but let the personal gifts be the surprise.

vix_jean · June 2010

Hi,
That was another question I had too, if it is truely a gift.. I guess that is debatable.

Stina - I don't know why I think they would expect it, I am not an expert, but I think it is common that the bride purchases earrings and a necklace for each bridesmaid.

Hmm... I was thinking of it as a gift, because I purchased it with them in mind. Each of the women are wearing marine colored dresses of their choice, and shoes of their choice that they are purchasing on their own. Yes, the bracelet does compliement the dresses, and I would hope they would want to wear them.

So, I should just assume that they know they have to purchase (if they chose) their own earrings and necklace, or should I remind them of that?

quotequeen · June 2010

There's nothing to remind them of because they don't have to purchase anything. They can wear something they already have, or they can wear nothing at all. If you are requiring them to wear necklaces and earrings then you do need to pay for them.

mbcdefg · June 2010

I would either show them the bracelets so that they know to coordinate their other jewlery (if they choose to wear it) around the bracelet ... or just say, "I bought you bracelets to coordinate with your dresses, so if you want to wear a necklace/earrings I suggest that you pick something neutral." (Maybe CZ jewelry or plain silver.)

Stina - I don't know why I think they would expect it, I am not an expert, but I think it is common that the bride purchases earrings and a necklace for each bridesmaid.

I've seen it a lot on the Knot, but not so much in real life (partly because I never really notice the BMs' jewelry). I don't think it's a problem when brides want the BMs' jewelry to match as long as the bride buys it, but I *do* think it's very selfish when the matching jewelry is their ONLY gift.

I let my two BMs pick their own, because (a) I didn't know their tastes, and (b) I honestly didn't want to waste the money or the time trying to find something. BM wore a diamond necklace and MOH wore faux pearls.

Hmm... I was thinking of it as a gift, because I purchased it with them in mind. Each of the women are wearing marine colored dresses of their choice, and shoes of their choice that they are purchasing on their own. Yes, the bracelet does compliement the dresses, and I would hope they would want to wear them.

I'd just be careful with this, though, because the marine color was your choice. The bracelets are pretty but hwo many future outfits will they really be worn with? It'd have to be something with blue, or something neutral like black, right?

Even if you give everyone a $20 gift card to a place she frequents - Target, Starbucks, iTunes, gas station, Outback, whatever - I think that plus the bracelet is fine. Or something else small but personalized to each of their interests. I just don't think that getting everyone the exact same thing, especially if it's to be worn at your wedding, is very personal or throughful, even if they could possibly wear it again.

emilyinchile · June 2010

If you bought the bracelets thinking of your wedding - ie. the look that you would like your BMs to have on your wedding day - then to me it isn't a true gift because you're not selflessly thinking of your friends' interests and nothing else. It also pains me that this is marketed as a "bridesmaid bracelet." How personal can it really be?

Have you guys talked about jewelry at all? My friends asked what I wanted them to wear, and I said that I didn't care but that if they did decide to wear anything I'd prefer it wasn't silver (they were wearing gold shoes, they probably could have figured that out on their own). In general I think it's fine for the bride to give guidelines as to color, so you could get away with asking them to wear clear/silver/blue jewelry, but if I bought a bracelet I wanted to wear and then was given a bracelet at the RD, I'd feel like I had to wear yours and would be annoyed I couldn't wear the one I'd cohsen, so I'd just tell them about the gifts.

stina93446 · June 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bridesmaid-gifts-11?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:83d5ec49-dad8-47a1-9077-21e6f1dd0008Post:4e4faf8d-037d-4c3c-b71f-a51df841fc33">Re: Bridesmaid Gifts</a>:
[QUOTE] Stina - I don't know why I think they would expect it, I am not an expert, but I think it is common that the bride purchases earrings and a necklace for each bridesmaid. Hmm... I was thinking of it as a gift, because I purchased it with them in mind.
Posted by vix_jean[/QUOTE]
Vix, have you ever been in a wedding as a bm? Did that bride give you jewelry? It unfortuantely is spread around that bms should receive jewelry, but we all know that most of the time, that jewelry goes in their lobes, but as soon as the event is over, the earrings are in the trash or in the back of your junk drawer. <div>
</div><div>Just because people DO give jewelry doesn't mean you HAVE to. In my opinion, jewelry is a really shitty gift, and yes I have been a bm before and received the ugly jewelry before....hell, the bride even went out and bought us each different pieces thinking that "Oh look, these are leaves and my theme is trees..." yeah, I don't know where those earrings are....</div><div>
</div><div>As a bm, I never expect a gift, but it's almost better to not receive a gift at all rather than get them matching gifts or thoughtless jewelry pieces. </div>

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