Delaware

VENTING...

Grrrr, so I need to vent to someone, and heaven forbid I do it on FB, since it would probably cause all sorts of drama...So, I have quite a few "friends" (I use the term loosely) on FB that I went to high school with who have had kids out of wedlock.  Not saying this is horrible, because I realize things happen.  And that's not what my vent is about.My vent is that now that they have had kids with their boyfriends (none of them are engaged, let alone married), they now feel they can call their boyfriends "husband", "hubby", and other terms of endearment that should be reserved for people that are actually married.  It really gets my blood boiling- I feel like it cheapens marriage and what I am planning, and what we are all going through.  I always make sure to say future husband, hubby-to-be...I never refer to him directly as my husband, because we aren't married yet!  I just really feel like it's demeaning to the real deal.I know I am probably overreacting, but for some reason, this little thing really heats me up.  If you aren't married, do NOT call him your husband, and don't call her your wife.  Simple as that.  If you want to call them that, head down to the justice of the peace.Grrr!

Re: VENTING...

  • edited December 2011
    Seriously?  Your blood boils over other people's petnames?  Should the bee-loving community get up in arms over the use of "honey?" Should parents get "heated up" when people cheapen the hardships of childbirth and childrearing by calling their SO "baby?"  Think about what you are saying here. For someone themself who is living out of wedlock, (I apologize if I'm off the mark here- but I think you have said before you are "living in sin")  you sure are judgemental. 
  • amlinton1615amlinton1615 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I've personally never heard or seen any one reference their SO like that, if they weren't married.  While it doesn't bother me, I do find it strange.  To each his own I guess.
  • Mrs.C7Mrs.C7 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Yes, you are overreacting LIKE WHOA.Dewdrop said what I wanted to say.  So instead, I'll say this: Pot, meet Kettle. 
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  • edited December 2011
    Umm, I did say that I admitted I was overreacting.  Everyone has their own little things that irk them, and this is one of them.I guess it irks me because of the whole other debate over marriage, and how people can get so angry over those committed relationships, when the complete opposite happens as well.And yes, I am living with FI.  And we just bought our first house.  And I will continue living with him.  Oh well if I am living in sin- considering the circumstances surrounding why I am living with him, I am sure that God will forgive me.  But I never call him my husband.  We aren't married yet.
  • Mrs.C7Mrs.C7 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Justify it how you want - the fact remains you're "living in sin," yet you continue to sit on your high horse and harshly judge a rather trivial point. Ohhhh...using "hubby" out of wedlock. Was that the 11th commandment that never made it on the tablet?I kind of want to knock you off your high horse with a Jesus action figure, you judgmental w@nker.
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  • edited December 2011
    Yes, rum, that debate.  And no, I am not angry over both.  I am angry that hetero couples who aren't married, who have the privilege of getting married are able but decide not to, don't and just use the words instead.  Especially when there are committed couples who are gay/lesbian, who have been in relationships longer than quite a few hetero couples (look at the divorce rate), but they are denied that privilege of marriage.  I guess what I am saying, which I didn't want to because I know that homosexual marriage is a huge topic of debate, is I am irked that people say homosexuals in committed relationships cheapen marriage.  To me, people who aren't married but say they are and use the terms for each other cheapens it more than the homosexual debate.  That's why I am irked.
  • edited December 2011
    Well, Mrs.C, I never said I was perfect, and I readily admit to being a sinner.Call it OCD.  It irks me, just like organizing my clothes by color and having them face the same way in the closet- no matter what you will say to get me off my "high horse".  I am sure you are far from perfect too.
  • Mrs.C7Mrs.C7 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I am angry that hetero couples who aren't married, who have the privilege of getting married are able but decide not to, don't and just use the words instead.You just gave your motivation right there.  Call it how you see it and don't try to hide behind "OCD."  This is totally not the same as organizing your clothes by color.
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  • edited December 2011
    Whatever, Mrs.C.  I am irked by it, I know I am not the only one (I had a long talk with my family about this last night, and they all agreed), and nothing you say about it is going to change it.  It was a vent, get over it.
  • Mrs.C7Mrs.C7 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I was just pointing out that you're a judgmental hypocrite.  Get over it.
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  • edited December 2011
    Thanks for that notification- have a great day! :D
  • Mrs.C7Mrs.C7 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    You're very welcome.  Have a blessed day! :D
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  • rumdrinxrumdrinx member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I think its funny to compare arranging your shirts to unweds...
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  • lmicoluccilmicolucci member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I call my FI hubby or hubster sometimes....it's my term of endearment sometimes.
  • edited December 2011
    Lura - me too.... Sometimes I call him my hubby or almost hubby, and he calls me wifey all the time...  :)  Love it!
  • edited December 2011
    Not to change the subject, but has anyone seen the Laughing Cow commercial where the woman calls her husband "the Hubbs"?  I think that is such a cute nickname, but FI said I'd better never call him that, lol.
  • amlinton1615amlinton1615 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    LOL, I call my DH "the hubbs" sometimes.  My vent is that now that they have had kids with their boyfriends (none of them are engaged, let alone married), they now feel they can call their boyfriends "husband", "hubby", and other terms of endearment that should be reserved for people that are actually married.I meant in my pp that I think it's strange that people who have no intention of being married or aren't engaged would refer to each other that way.  Not trying to back peddle, just clarifying because I know I referred to DH as my soon to be hubby all the time while we were engaged.  :-) 
  • edited December 2011
    I am angry that hetero couples who aren't married, who have the privilege of getting married are able but decide not to, don't and just use the words instead. Now you are deciding who should get married and who should not?  If thats all you are angry about- why the judgements over them having kids out of wedlock and not being engaged?  People get engaged, married, have kids- in whatever order they choose to- when the timing is best for them.  Overreacting over a name is one thing, but its your continual judgements of people who you consider to be morally lower than you that I find to be the most flagrant example of hypocricy. 
  • rumdrinxrumdrinx member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I would just like to say welcome to the year 2010 to you BR.  good grief!!!!!!!!!
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  • bubblyblondybubblyblondy member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I agree with to each its own opinions. But, I do sometimes call my fiance sometimes my hubby to other people when we are talking about him or the other people will ask hows hubby doing and etc?
  • ImMrsFranksImMrsFranks member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    It just confuses me when people on facebook have their status as married but are just in a serious relationship. I'm always like "when did so and so get married?" I've never referred to Dave as husband or hubby before we were married and he's the father of my child. I just think it's weird. He was my boyfriend and that's what I referred to his as. It doesn't really get on my nerves, but it sure gets confusing.
  • edited December 2011
    I used to call Phil my hubby and he called me wifey before we got married...even my dad would say stuff like "your have a husband now get him to do this or that" lol  I dont find it weird at all. I do agree it can get confusing when they list themselves as married...i congratulated one friend from high school only to find out it was just a joke with her friend....Since you said they arent that close of friends with them, why care so much about something as small as what they call their so?
  • edited December 2011
    I think Amber hit it on the head, as did Mrs. Frank.  Call them what they are.Mesh, I am close with a few, and I have told them flat out this bothers me.  The others, well, I try not to let it get to me (try being the key word there.  Like I said, I am not perfect).I guess to each his own.  For me, I just don't agree with it, that's all.
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