Invitations: feel obligated to put parents names?

jaimelody · July 2009

I was just wondering if anyone else felt obligated to put their parents and fis parents names on the invitations even though they aren't paying for the wedding. Both of us only have one parent (my mom, his dad) and neither is well off, so fi and I are footing the bill. In the end I'm sure they will volunteer to pay for some things, but we expect 95% to be us. So did anyone else feel obligated to put their parents names on the invites, or am I overanalyzing this?

LMGreene85 · July 2009

I'm in the same boat...FI & I are paying for it all...his parents will prob pay for the rehearsal dinner and mine might offer limos and paid for my dress...but the vast majority is us....That said, I am putting their names on the invitation...just because they are not paying doesn't mean they can't still "host" the party...I just think it's the right thing to do out of respect for our parents and dont think that because they dont have the means to pay for it they shouldnt be recognized:)After all, if it wasnt for them, we wouldnt be getting married, lol!HTH!!!

30may09bride · July 2009

I think putting your parents names on the invites should have more to do with your relationship with them, not who is paying. If you are close to your respective parents, I think it is nice to include thier names on the invite. We put both my parents and my MIL's name on our invites, my parents paid for a large part of the wedding, and my MIL didn't pay for any of it. But, I couldn't imagine sending out the invites without her name.

MrsnotMS · July 2009

Who is paying is not the same as who is hosting your reception. Parents normally do host, but it is quite clear that more and more couples pay for the wedding themselves. Will your parents be in the receiving line? Will they welcome your guests and be the point of contact in case they need or want something? If so, they are the hosts and should be on the invitations. A popular choice is to just say "along with their parents" or "along with their families" so as not to hurt anyone's feelings.

jen629 · July 2009

we are paying for 90% of wedding and I put both parents names on it...it really had nothing to do with who paid for me but for the respect and honor I wanted to give them.:) HTH

uppereastgirl · July 2009

Etiquette dictates that unless you don't have a good relationship with your parents, your parents (or in this case, your mom) properly host regardless of whether they paid. It is a little more complicated where the groom's parents contribute as much as the bride's parents do, but your friends really do not need to know the particulars of the financial arrangements. You just need to ask yourself whether you really need the credit for paying for it, particularly because it may embarrass your mom that you're essentially making the point to all the guests that she can't afford to pay for the whole thing. [url]<a href="http://www.crane.com/navContentProduct.aspx?NavName=Etiquette_Tips&DeptName=Etiquette_Wedding&Name=WedEt_Invite&ContentPage=WedInvitation_InvitationalLine" rel='nofollow'>http://www.crane.com/navContentProduct.aspx?NavName=Etiquette_Tips&DeptName=Etiquette_Wedding&Name=WedEt_Invite&ContentPage=WedInvitation_InvitationalLine</a> [/url]

Mye · July 2009

Fi and I paid for the whole thing ourselves, we still put our parents in the invitation, i think it was the right thing to do...

Kelly&Timothy · July 2009

None of the invitations I receive anymore have parents names on them. Although it may seem more formal I have seen a trend that people just dont put it. We are planning to do something like what is below that I found at http://www.theconnectionsite.com/weddings/collections/ccfonts/Wed_Verses.cfm.htmlBecause you have shared in our livesby your friendship and love, weandtogether with our parentsinvite you to sharethe beginning of our new life togetherwhen we exchange marriage vowson WEEKDAY, the DAY of MONTHYEARat TIME TIME PERIOD

Heater020780 · July 2009

DH and I mainly paid fo reverything with a little help from the parents...I just took the easy way out and put....Together with their families......

I <3 Seabass · July 2009

If you don't want to imply that they are hosting but still want to include them, instead of putting "together with their parents" you could do, Jaimeloday daughter of mom's name and Jaime's FI son of dad's name invite you yada yada yada

jaimelody · July 2009

Thanks ladies that clears up a lot for me.

erikag23 · July 2009

i would def include your parents name on the invitations~ paying or not, it is the right thing to do imo.

caketime · July 2009

I did:Mr. and Mrs. Caketimerequest the honour blah blah blahBeth CaketimetoMike Cakemasterson of Mr. and Mrs. Cakemaster

Partymixx27 · July 2009

We put both of our parents names on the invite, even though we're hosting and paying for most of it. I couldn't care less who the guests think host it, pay for it, or get "credit". We're both close with our parents, so both of our parents' names went on the invite.

Mye · July 2009

i did Because you have shared in our lives by your friendship and love, we XXXX XXXX and YYYY YYYY together with our parents Mr. and Mrs. XXXX Mr and Mrs YYYY invite you to share the beginning of our new life together when we exchange marriage vows on WEEKDAY, the DAY of MONTH YEAR at TIME TIME PERIOD

nyclisa78 · July 2009

all my friends who paid for their own weddings did jane smith & john walker along with their parents. kept everyone happy.

teamAandE · July 2009

We paid for more than half of the total wedding cost and still put my parents names first, our names, and FIs parents (even though they did not pay a dime)I felt it was the right thing to do. And TRUST me I did NOT want to give FIs parents credit for anything.

jaimelody · July 2009

I didn't realize how many ppl actually included their parents on the invite. I guess that's what I get for assuming things. I like: Jaime daughter of jaimes mom and Clifford son of Cliffords dad then I don't have to say their familes bc my dad is not a part of this at all.

Sinthya · July 2009

we were in the same boat. And no, I didn't even consider putting their names.

emt16 · July 2009

We are paying for ours pretty much 100% but did bride and groom together with their parents and listed them. We figure we are all celebrating our marriage

caketime · July 2009

I think that's a good compromise if you would like to mention them

jaimelody · July 2009

What about FIs step mom? He grew up w his mom(who has passed) but his dad has been remarried at least 20 years.

cvl105 · July 2009

I'm not sure what we're doing. My Mom/Stepdad contributed alot of money towards the wedding so I will definitely be putting hers. But my parents are divorced. As much as I wanted to put my Dad/Stepmom and FILs, it just looked like too many names on the invite.

Phyllisbride · July 2009

We paid for our and did not put parents names. just mine and his

Kelly&Timothy · July 2009

i agree chelsea. to list all names would be lots of names and then in our case we run the risk of offending people/ creating issues for listing former maiden names due to divorce etc. all of our parents are playing an important role in the wedding - walking down the aisle, parent dances, special thank yous in the program and at the wedding. hopefully people will just open the invitation and be happy for the invite and for US and not scrutinize whose name is on it (or not).

Linzpicc · July 2009

Simple - just say:Together with their parents (or you can say family or something)Bride and Groom....etc

alliecarrie41 · July 2009

i didnt feel obligated, i wanted my parents names on the invite. they were a big part of the day, not to mention of course our lives, regardless of money. it's not all about who paid for what.

LarissaAnn · July 2009

Nope. We did "together with their parents" but only our names.

Invitations: feel obligated to put parents names?

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