String Quartet vs. DJ or BOTH??

prokadima · July 2009

I really want to splurge and have a string quartet for my reception. Our venue is elegant and I think string music is beautiful. We likely will not be having any dancing other than bride/groom first dance and father/daughter dance. Do I still need to hire a DJ? If not, who MC's the event? I'd hate to have to pay for both a DJ and the string quartet but maybe I'll have to. Any ideas? cnm

econner42 · July 2009

Do you not plan on your guests dancing??

vaughnar · July 2009

I am having the quartet (maybe trio can't remember) to do my ceremony, cocktail hour, and dinner music. After that a DJ because I am a dancing fool (not necessarily a good dancer mind you). Are guests expecting not to dance because I would assume a wedding reception would have dancing (or at least some other activity) or is it just basically dinner?

prokadima · July 2009

My fiance does not want ANY dancing at all!! His family is ultra conservative and he insists no one in their family has dancing at weddings. He and I argue often about this! It is becoming a rather devisive issue. If it really is THAT important to him and his parents, I might be willing to give up all dancing EXCEPT the bride/groom first dance. I am not willing to give that up. (Although he still insists he won't do it.)

vaughnar · July 2009

This might sound dumb but what does your family want. Obviously it sounds like you want to dance or at least get a first dance. Will he not do the first dance because his family is conservative? Are you planning on another activity (like casino tables) or is everyone just going to be sitting there listening to the quartet and eat dinner?

stosha1 · July 2009

I'd imagine that if you're not planning on dancing, a DJ would be a waste of money. And, if your FI is TELLING you that he will not dance at your wedding, you should listen to what he is saying. I wouldn't get your hopes up that there will be dancing if he insists that there should not be any. I would suggest an Ipod reception.

prokadima · July 2009

I don't want my reception turning into a night club, but I think some tasteful dancing to classy music should be available for those that might want to dance. My fiance will not get involved in the planning at all. Whenever I ask his opinion on venue, colors, flowers, etc. he insists he is happy with whatever I want. The only 2 things he "put his foot down" on are that there be no alcohol or dancing at the reception. I am fine with no alcohol but I am going to fight til the end for dancing unless I can think of an adequate alternative.

vaughnar · July 2009

Ok this is my idea and no laughing. You could hire an MC that knows dance moves (like classical dances- waltzes, etc.) and "teach" people somewhat. I think that it could be fun expereince and that way you have an MC as well. I know I personally would like to learn those dances. It would be like a dancing with the stars competition but not:)

prokadima · July 2009

I really like that idea of having an MC that can teach fun and classy dances. I will have to talk that up to some people!

vaughnar · July 2009

YAY! But if he and his family is still against it consider something else to do (if you are trying to fill time). I know a lot of knotties have done a casino night where people play with fake money at their table.

stosha1 · July 2009

Just hire the quartet for all evening. They can play background music that no one will want to dance to anyways.

jarmstrong23 · July 2009

If I went to a reception and there was someone there to give some minilessons on classic dance-steps, I would LOVE it. I love dancing of all kinds-- but if I went to a reception and had nothing to do except sit and stare at the people across the table, it would turn into a very early evening. Can you think of any ways to get your guests to mingle/move around if there is no dancing? I'm all for doing what suits you, but if you have nothing for your guests to "do," you may want to plan on it being a short reception. On another note-- this is just the wedding reception. Is this conservatism (sp?) going to resurface time and time again between you two? It sounds like you really really really want dancing, but are sacrificing for his sake. There's nothing wrong with compromising and giving in to what your SO wants once in awhile, but how often are you going to have to give up what you want to do simply b/c he (and/or his family) doesn't approve? Was this a surprise to you or did you expect it?

prokadima · July 2009

The only thing I was surprised about was how strongly he is insisting on no dancing even when knowing how much I want it. Usually he is very accomodating and considerate of my wishes. He personally hates dancing but doesn't think there is anything evil about it. His parents do, however, have issues with dancing and I think he just really wants to respect their beliefs.

prokadima · July 2009

I really want to be respectful to his family. I really do love them very much. However, the bride/ groom first dance is something I have always dreamed about. To me, it is as traditional and intricate a part of the wedding day as exchanging vows and rings. I think many of our guests (or maybe just the ones on my side) would think it so odd if we did not have a first dance.

vaughnar · July 2009

I agree. The first dance is just as important as the first kiss. It signifies something as a couple as well as something that other people get to share in. I find it hard to believe though with people with beliefs like theirs wouldn't make an exception to something that is so traditional. Have you brought it up to his family or just to him? Maybe he already knows they won't find it accepting and that's why he is telling you know. I think even if you just got the first dance you have been more than accommadting and comprimising and maybe he should budge a litte (meet you somewhere halfway). That's what a marriage is partnership and comprimising.

String Quartet vs. DJ or BOTH??

Re: String Quartet vs. DJ or BOTH??

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