Sleep schedules...

aMrsin09 · August 2009

France is actually a good thing. The yacht will be having work done all winter so they will be in port. FI will work a 9-5, M-F. We'll actaully get to live together and spend holidays together, you know, like normal people. And I'm looking forward to starting the marriage on "neutral territory". Marriage will be new, living in France will be new, instead of him being back home and saying "isn't this great" and me going "uhm...still adjusting here".

nhelman · August 2009

AMrs...my first dog ever, Prince, was at a rescue center for a year and a half! (a no-kill facility obvi thank G-d) I picked him out when I was six years old and even the shelter workers were like "ummm...are you sure you want this dog?" He was the best dog ever. DH has some delusions of grandeur of us molding this puppy into "ours" - DH and I were also raised way differently when it came to animals...my mom and I picked strays off the road, his mother bought a purebred poodle at a ... petshop. Eesh. This is very indicative of his mother's personality...but I digress...

nhelman · August 2009

That's great!! France sounds like an amazing opportunity...I def see your point of view, in that it's better not to go to "his" home per se. My friend is moving outside of London to live with her DH, she met him on study abroad, and it's a huge adjustment (obviously!).Only one question...who are these "normal people" you speak of?

haha

temerityjane · August 2009

We both go to bed at 9pm. He sleeps, and I either keep working on the laptop ("working" most of the time) or watch television for anywhere from half an hour to 2 hours. He gets up at 4:30 or 5am, depending on the day, and leaves me be. I usually wake up before 7am on my own.When I first moved in, I went to sleep at 9 and woke up at 5 with him every single day. Turns out, he doesn't want his ear talked off while he has his morning coffee and smoke. I mean, I build up words all night long, and I wake up ready to SAY them. His days seem to start much more smoothly if I sleep til after he's gone. Hmph.

LarissaAnn · August 2009

I'm pretty much exclusively NJ now. I used to practice in both states, but I hate NY practice. The procedure is all backwards from NJ, the traffic and travel suck, and I have too many friends out there (I went to Brooklyn Law) willing to take the cases. So we refer back and forth, and things are much easier. I *will* still go into NY when I have a client who crosses state lines & refuses a referral... like when I had an ugly, horrific divorce that was all in NJ, but they exchanged the kid for parenting time at a police station in NY (due to threats of harm to the kid used to torture each other, these parents were insane) during one of which the kid got taken away by Children's Services. So then I was going into NY twice a week for the ACS hearings. It was a mess, but I got the kid back to mom fairly quickly.

aMrsin09 · August 2009

I've found that shelter animals seem to be the most devoted pets ever. It's like they know you are giving them so much better than what they had. The shelter dog may end up as more your "own" than a puppy ever will. Have DH sign on, we'll talk to him!

nhelman · August 2009

Jane, when DH and I first started shacking up some four years ago, I'd wake up with him and try to make convo...now he knows better to even look at me sideways that early!AMrs...the puppy is a rescue too...from a different shelter...I wouldn't back down on that part! Just seems like a shame because the older dogs have a harder time.Larissa, sounds like an interesting case, exactly why some people should NOT get married...

aMrsin09 · August 2009

yeah I'm thinking adjust to marriage first, then tackle a permanent move to a far away place. Well, normal in that most couples see each other without 6-8 month gaps between vists. How is your friend adjusting to London?

nhelman · August 2009

She's liking London thus far but is having to essentially go back to school to become a solicitor there (she didn't want to go the barrister route) because with they way things are in the U.S. she couldn't get a job with an American firm in London. Other than that, she's the type that adjusts to basically anything...he is very established there with a good set of friends, but is a sweetheart and offers to take her back stateside as often as he can. They dated for six years because of the distance, so they knew each other pretty well at that point!

LarissaAnn · August 2009

Yeah, I learned more handling that divorce than I have in the rest of my 14 years of practice. Name an issue, they had it. Unfortunately, they were dragging a 5-year-old girl back and forth with them. From what I heard from the judge, they kept fighting post-judgment, going to court about once a month for years afterwards. Poor kid. She'd be about 12 now.

mandysmear · August 2009

I work 8- 430. He works 7am - 11pm. We sleep at the same time, but I'm usually asleep by the time he gets home.

aMrsin09 · August 2009

Not to sound too stupid, but whats the difference between a Solicitor and a Barristor?

nhelman · August 2009

Yeeeeah, so this isn't going to be too technical which is sad because I did a transnational dispute resolution course IN London where we learned this stuff...Both barristers and solicitors have "law degrees" from universities, which is different than "law school" here..but barristers have more strenuous additional training...only barristers are actually allowed into court to argue. Essentially solicitors are almost like associates or law clerks and they prepare the case and do all the legal research. Also, solicitors can form law firms whereas barristers are not allowed to, they're all solo. After the solicitor prepares the case, they send it to a barrister who dresses up in a wig and all that good stuff and argues it. Barristers get paid more as they are almost celebrity-like in London...some of the "most famous" have the local paparazzi follow them and stuff. It's all very interesting...and different....

LarissaAnn · August 2009

Generally, solicitors handle mostly non-trial work (contracts & the like), and the barristers are the top-echelon trial lawyers. Solicitors *will* handle some courtroom work, but not to the same degree or level as barristers. The US lawyers aren't as divided.

nhelman · August 2009

Oh and not a stupid question at all....there's no reason a normal human being would know this...I just happened to have studied there!

LarissaAnn · August 2009

I thought solicitors could do *some* courtoom work. No?

Kristin789 · August 2009

Yep. DH sleeps 10:00 p.m. to 5:00 a.m. I sleep 1:00 or 2:00 a.m. to 8:00 or 9:00.

nhelman · August 2009

Maybe now they can? I'm not totally sure on that one...maybe lower level trial stuff. I know we were told that essentially solicitors hire the barristers to argue for them...which is why the barristers are always kissing @ss because that's where they get their business! Also there is some weird apprenticeship thing to become a barrister. We didn't spend much time with solicitors, which I thought was a little unfair, but we were studying at the Inn of Court and that's where the barristers are.

aMrsin09 · August 2009

Now why in the world would go through the hassle of setting up a law firm if you couldn't ever go to court. I mean most criminal case have the potential to end in court, yes? Even wills go to court at some point.

nhelman · August 2009

AMrs, it doesn't make a lot of sense to us but it seems to work over there....haha. I could tell you all sorts of useless crap you don't wanna know about English legal history...like when the solicitors prepare a case and pass it to a barrister they tie it in red string (still today) which is apparently the origin of the term "red tape" as the barristers had to "get through the red tape." The barristers aren't allowed to associate at all and all must go solo, which is supposed to keep their system from getting like ours with the multi million 500 people firms. The celebrity status of the barristers was interesting...one went to court with a flashy car/driver/suit/sunglasses then had to change into his wig and robe. Also, apparently the barristers historically from from an "elite class" but this part is starting to shift a little...

LarissaAnn · August 2009

aMrs, I know lawyers who HATE going to court. My dad's old lawyer despised court, so he'd do all the in-office stuff, and had a partner who hated the office and loved court, so he did all that. It was perfect for them. I like a nice balance with more court than office, but at least some downtime. Plus, I prefer to prep my own cases; I feel like I know them better that way and can think on my feet better when I need to. nhelman, NJ actually has Inns of Court fashioned after the British ones. They're in no way required, but they're tough to get into and look awesome on a resume, so I did the two-year program in the Justice Morris Pashman Inn of Court. It was the best experience I could've gotten. It's amazing that you actually got to study in a real British one - phenomenal! I'd love to go visit/audit one at some point.

LarissaAnn · August 2009

I must say, I like being a female lawyer in 2009 in the US. I can wear pant suits, skirt suits, black, navy, or powder pink if I so please. I can wear my hair up or down, as I see fit. No robes, no wigs, no uniforms, and a lot more variety than our male counterparts. The historical stuff would be fun and novel for about a month, and then as a day-to-day practice I think I'd want to shoot someone.

phoeny_moonstar · August 2009

I work from 11pm-7am and that's when FI is sleeping. So yep, competely different sleep schedule. Though when I come home I cuddle with him before I fall asleep and he wakes up...

aMrsin09 · August 2009

OK ladies it's been fun, But I have to catch a flight in 6 hrs. Nhelman, it was great catching up with you again. Hope you stick around for a bit!

nhelman · August 2009

Larissa, that's really interesting about the Inn of Court. We have one here in S.C. but you're just "tapped" in by someone you know...it's mostly social, supposedly comprised of leaders and stuff...I got "tapped" in by someone who worked at the law firm where I clerked, I think after I made law review but I don't remember when. Another friend got tapped in by someone after she made moot court. Basically if you demonstrated any leadership skill and knew someone already in. Studying at Gray's Inn was an incredible experience...we actually got to dine in hall, which is apparently something VERY few "outsiders" get to do...one of my favorite law professors is best friends with a barrister at Gray's Inn and every year he organizes a month long class there with about 20 students...best thing I did in law school by far..

LarissaAnn · August 2009

Ours was a huge application process with interviews (and the interviewers really made me think I wasn't getting in, they were so tough) and essays and the whole bit. It was social, but every month we had a big class with dinner, and then also a smaller section meeting where we had to do homework in between prepping part of a trial, and then in the small section meeting, we actually handled that aspect - direct, cross, opening, closing, whatever was the topic that month. They used the court cameras to tape us too, and played them back for us with the critique. Our Inn was actually somehow associated with Gray's, and we were told if we went to the UK we could get in and hang out there. I wonder if I still could as a past member...

nhelman · August 2009

Wow that's really neat...I say if you get a chance to go to Gray's Inn and can make the trip out there, GO! :-) It was really cool. Essentially every...Wednesday...I think it is, they all dine what we would call "family style" and theyh call "in hall." They eat yummy food and drink tons of wine. We also had a debate with the student barristers which was neat too...

nhelman · August 2009

Poor Dh just got called into work so he's up now too, poor guy! And surprised to see me knotting ("you're doing that knot thing again? but we already got married..." haha) so I guess it's about time for me to bed down as well...

LarissaAnn · August 2009

G'nite! I'll definitely look into going to Gray's. Actually, this discussion has me wanting to find out how to become a barrister in the Pashman Inn. I'm out of law school 14 years now; no reason why I couldn't get back involved!

thesuninherhead · August 2009

We both have the same sleep cycles, and honestly I feel it is very important. In my last relationship, I would always be up late at night and he would go to bed early, and I think that not having that time together was part of what came between us in the end. Although I haven't had to, if it came down to it, I would make an effort to adjust our sleep cycles to one another rather than have amount of 'lost' time which could be spent together. Especially given that we're gone most of the day for work anyway.

Sleep schedules...

Re: Sleep schedules...

Choose Another Board

Search Boards