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North Carolina

vent again...wow

So i thought i could solve my issue with the current catering/venue place that my future inlaws have had so much disagreement about the past few days, by basically forgetting about it and looking for some other places. After spending hours on hours looking and searching for venues themselves that meet my criteria; i decide why not have the wedding at the beach! would be great...that is a whole area that we have to checked out and i am sure guests would rather spend a weekend at the beach than mebane or youngsville...the other places that i was considering. My fabulous idea....rent a huge house....set up a tent beside it and be done with it. My FI and I were excited coming up with great ideas and feeling much more confident about our wedding happening. I have been emailing ideas to my FI and his mom all day when she replies saying that a wedding at the beach will be too far for people to attend. OH NO SHE DIDNT....after i was in tears this morning over this...finally find something to get happy about she has to go sabotage it. is it REALLY too much to ask for people to commute to the beach for the weekend??? they live in charlotte; we live in raleigh, my parents and most of my family live in winston salem. they act like i want them to drive to Miami or something. this is me and my FI's wedding and we are going to have it where we want it. that is the end of it. wilmington is not that far away...deal with it. We just flew to chicago for one of his friends weddings...we have drove to charlotte twice for two others. is it so much to ask??? ughhhhh i could just scream so glad its nearly 5 on friday!!!! woooohooooo

Re: vent again...wow

  • smlinebesmlinebe member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I agree, it's not that far. I'm going to a wedding in Asheville tomorrow (from Raleigh). However, I will tell you that I had several family members complain about coming to my wedding in Raleigh...from GREENSBORO. It's one fricking hour! So yes, you will always have people unhappy about it, but guess what. It's you and FI's wedding. Do it the way you want to do it; if they don't want to drive to come to one of the biggest days of your life, well you don't need them there :) In the end, you will be blissfully married!
  • wlfpkbridewlfpkbride member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Agreed, it's your wedding, you pick the location. FI and I picked Raleigh because we both love it, it's more convenient for us, and there are many more choices than back home. None of my family lives in Raleigh. If they make a huge fuss about it being an hour and a half away I wouldn't hesitate to tell them to sit at home and wait to see pics :-) Do what makes you and FI happy and don't worry about any
  • wlfpkbridewlfpkbride member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    ...anyone else...not sure what happened there.
  • momofaydenmomofayden member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I wouldn't think his mother would have a say in where the wedding is (even if she is contributing).  I would make a decision and tell people that's the decision no changes.  You are never ever going to make everyone happy so make a decision based on you and your FI and no one else.
  • edited December 2011
    Aren't families great?! FI's family is traveling 4 hours and my family is traveling an hour. I was kinda disappointed that they were driving back home right after the wedding (I mean 10 pm or later after the wedding). Amazingly enough, as easy as I think it is to drive anywhere to be somewhere for the people I love, apparently I (and you) are more mobile than anyone else in our families. We travel to visit FI's family several times a year but they haven't driven this way for as long as I've known them. It's aggravating sure - at some point you have to decide if it's more important for you to have a beach wedding or for all of your family to be there. I feel your pain though, seriously.
    BabyFetus Ticker
  • edited December 2011
    Geez how annoying!  That isn't far AT ALL.  My friends and I used to drive that as a day trip in high school all the time haha.Where are you looking at places?  I highly recommend Topsail Island.  It's one of my all-time favorite spots in NC :)
  • edited December 2011
    Clover do it!! I am in charlotte and we are getting married at oak island. You will be surprised how many people will come and where they are coming from (probably even more people than you wish or hoped for, lol). People are coming to ours that didn't come to my sisters just bc it is at the beach! We are renting a house and getting married on the beach and having the reception on the patio under the beach house!
  • alliegator8alliegator8 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Clover,My fiance and I are getting married in Surf City.  We live in Raleigh, but my family is up in Philly and his is in Virginia and Michigan.This is our wedding, and both our parents have told us to do whatever makes it perfect for us.  Since having a beach is what we want, that's where it will be.  If being there is important to them, our friends and family will make it to the wedding.  And if coming that far is too much and they don't want to do it, then I really don't want them at my wedding then b/c it shows how little they care.  Just like how you flew up for your friend's wedding in Chicago.  You felt it was important to be there and show you care.  Those are the people you want at your wedding to celebrate with you.  Plus, it's not like you are asking people to fly to Hawaii or anything like that.  Charlotte is not that bad.    There are places along the coast that aren't too far.  Like you said, Wilmington is perfect.  So plan your wedding exactly how you want it.  I found this awesome place today where the reception hall is right on the beach.  So you can have the reception and ceremony at the same place.  I am booking it tomorrow for our wedding next september.  Let me know if you want any of the info.
  • edited December 2011
    alliegator8, what's the name of the place you're booking?  That sounds really cool!
  • edited December 2011
    Totally feel your pain!!!! I reallllly wanted to have our wedding at Highgrove out in the Raleigh area, but all of FI's family and most of our friends are in Charlotte. Well, I might as well have said lets have the wedding in California, because I got the same reaction!! No one wanted to travel, I was told the grandmothers would not come, etc etc. BIG disappointment, because Highgrove to me is so beautiful and the perfect venue (to me). Our current venue is very nice but I still harbor feelings for Highgrove. lol. FI should have just said this is where we're having it, too bad... but he didnt. Oh well. So I encourage you to make it YOUR wedding, your dream... and scr*w everyone else. ;)
  • alliegator8alliegator8 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    shigaites -The place we booked is the Surf City Surfside Center (welcome center).  We went yesterday to see it and I knew as soon as I saw it that it was where I wanted to have the ceremony and reception.  it is run by the town of surf city, so it is priced very well.  No problems with outside cartering.  It is a renovated building, so it's very nice and new inside.  It's right on the beach with handicap access for older guests.  The guys there are great!  They are very flexible about times and really worked well with me to set the date.Here's the link:http://surfcity.govoffice.com/index.asp?Type=GALLERY&SEC={50799440-4A1F-4E5F-B260-C62D69B9BC2B}I took some pictures while we were there.  Let me know if you would like to see them.
  • edited December 2011
    Oh gosh yes that would be awesome if you could send me pics since I don't know if I'll get a chance to go down and visit while I'm home.  My email is kfkrayer at gmail dot com.  Thanks so much!
  • clover1019clover1019 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    awww katherine! i feel you! Highgrove is beautiful; have you seen the B&B just next door, it looks like a castle! I have been in touch with the highgrove people, i was actually supposed to go look at it on Saturday but we have since worked things out since my rant. while the beach would be fun. I found the museum of life and science in durham to be an amazing little place. they have everything we are looking for, rental time until 1 am, allow liquor, outside catering, a beautiful area to have a tent and an outdoor reception. i just wish i had found them sooner. Now that we are buying a new house in Brightleaf off 70 we are going to have our rehearsal dinner at our place and have my uncle prepare the BBQ dinner for about 70 people. Will be fun, with Firefly tinis and cornhole in the back yard. It feels nice to be unstressed out again. Where are you having your wedding at? Somewhere close to charlotte? I looked a a few places down there but none of them where "IT" i think you have to be attached to the place or else you are going to have regrets. wishing that you had chosen a different place etc. my FFIL was trying to bully me into having it at Van landingham estate in downtown charlotte; while the place was nice it just wasnt me at all, not to mention was a lot pricier than other places. He trumped on that place so much that i would have swore he worked there or had stock in it. I expressingly told him several times that the place could burn down for all i care. Then come to find out from my FI that he said he would pay for the whole wedding if we had it there! that really fired me up. I knew from the beginning it would be a fight to make this our wedding and not his.
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