Well that's just great. Sort of WR.

BecW2be · August 2009

CN at the bottom.So FI calls this morning and we start talking about taking a weekend trip to a theme park near us with my girls. He suggests next weekend and I said, "Oh. I can't. I have something to do." The something is pin-up pics for him. He asked what I had to do, and I just told him it was nothing. Just something I'm working on. He then says, "You're not doing those trashy lingerie photos are you? Please don't do that. Really." I was SHOCKED. I haven't mentioned the first word about anything of the sort, and I hadn't even heard of them until I found TK. WTF? He knows I hate photos taken of myself, and I asked him what in the world about me makes him think I would do that, and he jokingly said, "Oh, I ruined your surprised didn't I? I'm sorry." So, do I cancel them now? They are next week. I can't believe he just said something out of the blue like that. But if he doesn't want them, then I'm certainly not going to torture myself with this stupid photo shoot. If I do cancel, then I'm perplexed as to what to give to him for his birthday (5 days before the wedding.) CN: FI stated he doesn't want b-pics. Do I cancel? If so, what do I give him for his birthday in October?

danieliza1127 · August 2009

Yeah I would probably cancel at this point. He must have had some reason to know you were planning to do it and it really sounds like he doesn't want them.As far as what else to get him...what's he into? What does he do for fun? Is there a concert or event or something you could get tickets for that you could do together?

temerityjane · August 2009

Maybe you could do some pics of you and your daughters. I mean, I know a bunch will be taken at the wedding, but maybe some silly or fun ones, or individual portraits he can keep in his wallet/on his desk?

timmysgal1 · August 2009

eh...i would cancel. and then i would use that time to plan something else. getting tickets to a favorite event. dinner out and baseball game.go to an arcade and act like kids. something like that?

scoetto · August 2009

I'd cancel them. As for his birthday, no clue. I suck at giving gifts.

salt78 · August 2009

Yeah I'd cancel. I don't know about the birthday gift, but at least you have a little while to decide. They are totally not my FI's thing either.

scoetto · August 2009

TJ makes a good point. Could you do family pictures instead? Not all dressed up like on the wedding day but fun familiy pictures? With the 4 of you.

Moneypenny424 · August 2009

Yep, cancel. The only point in torturing yourself would have been if he'd love those photos. Don't do it otherwise. I agree on concert tickets, sports tickets. Not sure what else he's into, but if you tell us a bit more about him, I'll throw out some suggestions!

ricksang · August 2009

My H is the same way. I think it is because he works in the sex industry and he is a bit desensitized by naked women. I threw the idea around and my H stated he would much rather have me live in front of him in the nude. I bet you FI likes the real deal too My point is yes, you should cancel them. What type of stuff does he like?

timmysgal1 · August 2009

comedy clubs are fun too. especially if you can go see someone like Joel McHale or something. you could give him the tickets in October for an event really anytime that month or even in November. Gives them something to look forward to.

nhelman · August 2009

I would look into tickets/doing something fun together/taking a trip together...those are always my favorite presents :-)

tlv204 · August 2009

I would cancel personally. I discovered my DH really didn't want them either. I like the family photo idea also! Also, I know it's not the same, and may be even worse, but my DH told me that he would much rather take pictures of me himself and he thought it would be fun. We haven't done it, and I still wouldn't get totally nekkid on film, but just another idea

BecW2be · August 2009

There's absolutely no way he could know I'm doing them. I've only mentioned them here in other posts that even if he did look here he'd never see. My sister knows, but she swears she didn't say a word. I think he must have heard people are doing them in some passing conversation. I'm just SO glad he said something now instead of after I already had them done. He's HUGE into music and entertainment, mainly because of his job. He'll buy himself tickets to something weeks before they even go public. I'd love to do that for him, but there's no way to get tickets before he buys them for himself. We are seeing U2 in VA in October, so maybe I can figure something out to do with that. He also is restoring a 1974 mini cooper, but it's in storage and I have no clue what he may want/need to finish it up. I have about $500 to spend on him, and I'd like to get something he'd remember. His journal is his "wedding" gift, but since it's so close to his birthday I'd like this birthday present to be really memorable.

Soon-to-be Mrs. Vogt · August 2009

Sucko. I'd cancel though

What about getting tickets to some haunted houses in the area, or a mystery dinner or something (I'm assuming you're both into Halloween) and having a wedding stress-free date night for his birthday? Or how about a fun outing on your honeymoon that would be something that fits his interests?

ricksang · August 2009

Do you have some type of fair or Octoberfest in your area in Oct?

ricksang · August 2009

What is your price limit?

ffmaid · August 2009

Yes cancel he has stated it is something he woudl not like. Think about what woudl be something taht woudl make his life nicer easier. Get that

timmysgal1 · August 2009

could you do some pics that are not trashy lingerie?black and white. no makeup. maybe more realistic? rather than you all dolled up? maybe he prefers you natural and real. in a t-shirt and jeans.

ricksang · August 2009

My H and I have a membership here. One of the best things ever! http://mp3fiesta.com/It is 50 a year or 100 (I think) for a life time membership. Since he likes music maybe a membership would be a good idea. They also have a movie site too.

BecW2be · August 2009

Well, mine weren't going to be lingerie anyway. Just 1950s pin-up in look and feel, with a cutsie dress and other stuff. The only real provocative shots were going to be in one of his shirts, tie and hat I stole. I'm just going to scrap the whole thing. What sucks is I wrote about them in that stupid journal, so he'll know soon enough that I was going to do them, and now I'm not. I think we are driving to PA and staying in a little lodge we found a couple of years ago for our honeymoon, so I'll see if there's anything up there he'd really enjoy. He works with every big league sports team in our area, as well as entertainment venues, so there's literally not one event that he either doesn't get free tickets to or gets really good advance deals. He's nearly impossible to buy gifts for, and I thought I'd found the perfect one. Shows how much I know! Thanks for all your suggestions. Back to the drawing board, so to speak.

ricksang · August 2009

My H's birthday is in Oct too. He is getting cake because I am po'.

Soon-to-be Mrs. Vogt · August 2009

If he's really into music, can you see if you could find him some vintage albums and start a collection that fits his taste? (if he doesn't already have one)Does he have a favorite sports team? Maybe you could arrange for him to go onto the field for the team (I knew someone once who did batting practice with their fav baseball team). What about a hobby he loves or would like to start? Could you get him sky-diving lessons or take him bungee jumping or some kind of car racing? Maybe plan a winter ski trip. What about flying in an out of town friend/family member a little early for the wedding?

betrothed123 · August 2009

I'd cancel. My H wouldn't be into them, either.

bombtones · August 2009

One year for FI's Christmas present I just planned a whole day around doing things that he'd love and that we always talked about doing. I made him breakfast in bed, went to a bookstore, we got subs from our favorite sub shop, went ice skatingin Boston, walked around the city, and then went to Laser Flyod. It was nice to spend the whole day together since we can get really lazy sometimes and never do anything.

ricksang · August 2009

Bec, when will you next drunk knotting session be? I want to make sure I am around ;P

ricksang · August 2009

you=your

timmysgal1 · August 2009

explain in the journal why you canceled! he'll think it's funny when he gets the journal!

BecW2be · August 2009

Ricks, the next time I crack open a bottle of wine, I'll page you, ok?

These are all great suggestions. Thanks so much, girls! He has a massive old record collection, but maybe I can figure out one he doesn't have yet. He also has a collection of WWI British soldiers that are metal and about an inch tall that he inherited from his grandfather, I think. They are in a generic display case right now, but I have always wanted to try furniture making. Maybe I can get some really cool wood and do an antiqued Union Jack sort of tall, narrow case with lighting for him? I bet I could do it. It could be awesome. He's mentioned wanting a new case for them; something offbeat and cool.

ricksang · August 2009

K!I love the WWI display idea.

Soon-to-be Mrs. Vogt · August 2009

There ya go, that sounds like an awesome gift and something he would keep forever (and it's extra meaningful since you made it)

ac_in_dc · August 2009

I think the case is a great idea. I'm also in the minority here, but if this happened to me I'd probably come clean to FI about my plan, and see what his reaction is then. You can decide together if it's a good idea. It wouldn't be a surprise then, but he'd probably appreciate the convo rather than feel guilty when he inevitably discovers that you were planning on this before he said a random remark in passing.More unsolicited advice: stop being such a perfectionist!! It's OK if the birthday present you give him is not the best ever. It's 5 days before your wedding, you already have an amazing and thoughtful gift in the works, and you have the rest of your lives to bestow goodies on each other.

Well that's just great. Sort of WR.

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