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BM ill and cant be in wedding

sallysongsallysong member
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in Ohio-Cincinnati
Cousin in the bridal party became very ill and cant travel to be in our wedding.  Wedding is in 44 days and wondering how I should address her not being there.  In the program indicate she is sick or say nothing?  Ask our priest to say something during the ceremony?  And then another question is there are 6 groomsmen and 4 bridesmaid including maid of honor.  How do we arrange walking down the isle?  Thanks!
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Re: BM ill and cant be in wedding

  • jimljiml
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    If it were me, I would not draw attention and address her not being there. I would just tell her that you hope she gets better soon. Your wedding will still be beautiful. Regarding the uneven wedding party, what if you had all the groomsman standing at the altar and have the girls walk down by themselves? Things will all work out.
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  • jan_it_2004jan_it_2004
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I don't think you should say anything about your cousin.  As for the uneven bridal party, I have an uneven bridal party also.  I have 8 girls and 7 guys so I am having my groomsmen stand at the altar with the groom and then when we walk out the girls will walk with the guys and since its uneven the last two girls will walk with the last guy. I've seen it done at a wedding before. it is so cute.  so you could have your first two girls walk with one guy and then the last two each walk with two guys. 
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  • jarmstrong23jarmstrong23
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I agree with pp's in that the "uneven wedding party" will work out-- you'll get an idea that you'll love and go with it.  As for your BM, if it were me, I'd still list her name in the program simply b/c she would have been there had it not been for unforeseen circumstances.  I would NOT write anything in the program about her absence, but if you are having a portion of your ceremony where different people are prayed for (i.e the response is "Lord, hear our prayer") maybe include her?  That portion of the ceremony isn't just for those who have passed on, but for anyone who you want a little extra holy TLC, ya know?  That way, people can pray for her health, and it's a small way that shows why she's not available to stand with you. GL with this :) 
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  • mindiosumindiosu member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    100% agree with jarmstrong. I wouldn't act like she doesn't exist. For our ceremony, the groomsmen will walk in together near the front of the venue and only the BM's will walk down the aisle. That would eliminate issues of your uneven party. Or, you can have 2 GM walk your MOH down.I sure hope she is well again soon!
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  • jeremy.teresajeremy.teresa
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I agree w/ Jen.  Don't list her in the program and if you are having that special prayer, maybe include her name in the list.  The uneven bridal party will work out.  It happens all of the time.  I hope and pray that she gets better, too!  GL!
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  • MrsHeatherMarieMrsHeatherMarie member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I don't think you should say anything about her not being there, but could still include her in the programs.  I think if you said something, it would cause unnecessary whispering.  I am a very nosy person (and just graduated from nursing school) and I would be thinking "What's wrong with her? I hope shes ok .... blah blah blah"  I might become more focused on her illness instead of the actual wedding.  But, that's me and I'm weird. :)As for the uneven bridal party, I don't think there is anything wrong with it.  I like the suggestions from pp.  It'll work out and still look great!
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  • Jack'sPrincesssJack'sPrincesss member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    as far as the uneven #.... have each BM come down with 2 GM and the MOH by herself that way she still stands out as the MOH
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