Chinese Weddings

Incorporating Culture to Modern Wedding?

I'm at my wit's ends with my family. My relatives are pushing me to have a traditional Khmer(/Chinese/Viet) 3-day wedding. I understand that I'm the last of the older girls (the next female after me is 11) to get married, but I just don't see a 3-day event possible.I want to have everything in one day- my house (7a-11a), church ceremony (12p-2p), then the reception (3:30p-9p). It's already a FULL day, but my family is really upset with my decision and feel I'm not including enough.So ladies... my question is- how did/will you incorporate your different cultures into your wedding? Like, I'm already having a tea ceremony... and I'm already having monks "bless" our marriage. What I feel is the "important" cultural part of a wedding is already included, but I'm not sure what else I can do to appease my relatives.BTW, FI is not Asian and he really doesn't "care" as long as we still get married in a church. :-\

Re: Incorporating Culture to Modern Wedding?

  • edited December 2011
    All that we're really doing is making sure our wedding is on an auspicious day, having a tea ceremony, and changing into a qipao at some point during the day. We're going to try and do some Asian Fusion food, as well, but I think my parents may have another banquet the day after so that my relatives can have some authentic Chinese food. FI is Caucasian, and there are no Chinese restaurants big enough for our guest list where I'm from. Sounds like you're doing what a lot of the girls here are doing and your day sounds pretty jam packed as it is. Sorry I can't be of much help, but I wanted to at least say good luck to you! Hopefully the other girls will be able to help you out more.
  • edited December 2011
    I'm Chinese and DH is Jewish.  It's pretty ironic, b/c I was more interested in incorporating Jewish traditions and vice versa.  For the Chinese traditions, we did a small tea ceremony in the morning at my parents house, then a modified tea ceremony at our venue, where both families participated. We didn't do any of the "games" b/c I really don't believe in them (to my familly's dismay).  We also had a lion dance.  Jewish traditions included breaking of the glass and the horah dance.  Everything went pretty smoothly.  I think you should be able to pick and choose which traditions mean the most to you.  However, I don't regret taking time out of my portrait session in order to accommodate the tea ceremony.  I think that if you do decide to the 3-day affair, you'll be able to create great memories.  I think a wedding is all about pomp and circumstance and cultural traditions should be honored if at all possible.BTW, I'm not familiar with Khmer customs, but the 3-day affair sounds pretty sweet!  If it involves tons of food and family and friends, I would do it in a heartbeat.
  • edited December 2011
    My "lucky day" happens to fall on an early Sunday in May. And out of my friends, I'll be the only one finished school for the semester... and I know it's very hard for my family (roughly 70% of my family work at ONE company in Billerica, MA) to request the same Friday off to make way for a 3-day event. :( I'd like to have a celebration last that long, I just don't think fam's seeing it that way... Ehh.Alko- I'm changing into 3 different Cambodian pieces throughout my morning ceremony and for the reception, I'll be changing into a custom-made qipao with matching jacket, shoes, and "cap"! I'm actually excited to wear the clothes though! ^^Foolforfood- I love your Lion Dance idea! I could do a Dragon Dance for my reception? I read your bio and saw that your dancers were from Chinatown Boston... how did you go about arranging that? I don't speak Chinese- my mom never taught me! (And she's in OH so no help there!)And I was thinking of maybe trying to mix a dragon (me) and a rat (FI) somewhere? I don't know how to put it out elegantly though. What do you think?
  • edited December 2011
    My parents have also put a lot of pressure on me in regards to making sure that they look good in front of their family and friends (lots of food, big reception, etc.).  My fiance and I are not really into making this a gigantic production and he has given me to use his family as the excuse (they're not Chinese).  So I basically keep telling them that Canadian families prefer weddings to be simpler, and that we have to respect their wishes as well.  It's... sort of working.  With my family, I know I'll be convincing them up until the wedding is over.  Maybe  even after.But if you want to play that card, and your fiance is okay with it, then it MIGHT work.
  • ring_popring_pop member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    We were lucky. I guess my parents aren't THAT hardcore, and because we're also a mixed race couple (Indian and Chinese), we were able to make the argument that we didn't think it would be appropriate for the wedding to be too heavily loaded with traditions from either culture. For Chinese customs, we're having the tea ceremony (this was the most important thing to my parents) and included a Chinese insert in the invitation.For Indian traditions, I'll be doing mehndi on my hands.The banquet is a western menu but we're including touches of Indian and Chinese flavours, and a buffet of Indian and Chinese sweets for dessert.
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  • edited December 2011
    We held a roast the night before, and americanized wedding with many cultural aspects the following day. we also had a semi-traditional engagement party.
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  • tohruchantohruchan member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    mrsrodriguez-i dunno why i never read this post! we have a lot in common! giiirrrlll i could write a novel in reponse to the questions you addressed here.. esp about "appeasing the relatives" *sighi actually tried emailing you but my email bounced back? i'll try calling you instead unless you see this post before i contact you.
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