Poll: Did you live with your Hubby or are dtaying with your FI before the Wedding?

bigshow2882 · August 2009

ddyoung made me think about this and I was just curious on everyone elses views. Did you live with Husband or are you staying with your FI before the Marriage? If so, what are the pros and cons?

bigshow2882 · August 2009

*** Sorry I meant staying with*** in the title.

brobin01 · August 2009

we live together. we have been living together for 1 1/2 years. I had to be sure that we could live together for millions of reasons and everything is great. I don't have any con's! thank god!

Dashawn Council · August 2009

yes we lived together for close to 5 years before we were married. i can say the only con for me was somehow i was looking for something else after weddign day and pretty much everything stayed the same.

MrsW2000 · August 2009

FI and I live together and have for the past 5 years. It worked out for us and we haven't had any issues living together besides the obvious ones like his inability to pick up his boxers from the bathroom floor or my intense dislike at doing dishes, lol. Before we moved in together he had his own place and so did I but we wouldn't spend a night apart if we didn't have to. Either I was at his place or he was at mine. It just made more sense for us to be under the same roof.

Christynah · August 2009

Nope I've never lived with Fi before and I don't plan on living with him until after the wedding. The Pros is I don't have to share my bed or closet with him. Cons I have no idea what his habits are. The reason why I have decided to wait until after the wedding is because I always told him I don't want to shack up with him or any guy with out being married first.=)

Crystalis77 · August 2009

We live together. Its been about 2 years now. My lil cousin used to live with me and she was looking to move out. I was looking forward to having the house to myself. My FI had recently moved back in with parents but was staying with me most weekends. The one day he never left. I love having him there though. We fell into a routine quickly. Our biggest problems is cleaning. I hate to do it and he does too so we fight about cleaning. Then we clean together

Bambi Graham · August 2009

Shawn and I have been living together for 5 1/2 years and of course it has it pros and cons. But in the long run, we already have a sample of what it is like to be married already. I think that living together before a wedding is a good idea. Because you never know some one until you live with them

marriedsaywhat?? · August 2009

Yes hubby and I lived together before the wedding. Pros's-why should both of us being paying rent? Think, what is the cheapest (depending on where you live) where you can have a nice 1 bed room apt that aint in the hood??? Like $650 for real at least.....Thats money that could be going towards the wedding or a house or something.."helps you to save money"Con: God says, "do not do it" ...my parents, wasnt feeling it but baby soon got over it. pro: you to get to know each other even more so and it helps with knowing what to expect so this I think is a good thing. con: it doesnt leave any mystery after you get marred

plus you gots to give up the goods more often b/c you right next to him...so if you tired.....oh well lol..but seriously this can cause a problem, it did with me and mine man. uhmm this is all I can think of...

brobin01 · August 2009

marriedsaywhat!! I triple agree!!! LOL Cons: gotta give up the goods even when you don't feel like it!! LOL

blue19violet · August 2009

We didn't live together before marriage and - even though he was asking me to move in with him before he asked for marriage - I doubt that it would have been healthy for our relationship. I'm huge on having freedom and my own space. I only lived alone (no fam / no roommates) for about 2 years before getting married. I would have resented him if I had to cut that time short.

NELCORP · August 2009

Married say what, I have to disagree about the sex.FI and I have been living together for almost 4 years and I'm glad we do. I don't have any cons. I know all his habbits and he knows mine so we don;t have that first year of marriage issue of adjusting to one another. He has a son and I'm already use to being a step-mom. And he's son is already use to me. We have a routine that works well for us. All the chores in the house are separated btwn the 3 of us. And as far as the giving it up when you don't want to...When we lived apart, I felt like everytime we hung out or went on a date at the end of the night I would have to give up and he expected it. But now, he knows my busy life and I know his, he knows I cherish my rest and sleep so he knows when he's going to get some and when he's not and visa versa for me. I think it made are sex life better and more mutual.

MRS.TJB · August 2009

Yes...FI and I live together. We have only just recently moved in really to save $$ for the wedding. I have been there since April...and we haven't looked back since. Pro's are EVERYTHING! Con's...I'm scared then we do finally get married I won't "feel" any different. But, I'm sure I will get over that quick!

Chrysie00 · August 2009

My husband and I got married in May 2009 (justice of the peace ceremony) because we both felt strongly about not living together before we were married , we were both at a point where we wanted to be living together, and we both felt that we were ready to be married to each other. I think our decision was considered kind of extreme by a lot of people because its so much more common now to live together first ...but its what worked for us. So we're having the big ceremony/reception with family and friends next May (on our one-year anniversary actually). The pros of this decision were that we stuck to what we believed in, we're married yay! lol (that comes with lots of other pros that I don't feel like listing)The cons of this decision were that a lot of people assumed I was pregnant, many people don't understand our decision, some people don't see the point of doing a ceremony/reception next year - really the cons only deal with what other people think, which don't really bother me ;-)

braxtongirl · August 2009

Lived with for 6 years (2 apartments and the house). I decided to move out and he came to help me get situated for about 2 months. After those two months, I had to ask him if he was going to leave and he said "do I have to"? So I said no and we made some arrangements. His parents were arguing thru him at the time so he didn't want to go home. All pros. God know me best because at that time, I didn't know that I was scared to be on my own and I couldn't handle it (emotionally and financially) and needed him there. I don't even like to stay in the house over night without him there. I know about his non cleaning habits. If I had found out that later, I would have been screwed and upset. I am used to it now. There will be nothing changed about our relationship except its official and we can try for babies. As far as giving it up more, he knows when to leave me alone.

mycicybride · August 2009

FI and i have lived together for about 3 years now. The pros are you learn each others living habits and se if this is something you can live with forever. The cons are you don't get to have the space you'd normally have when you have your own place when you have an argument.

bigshow2882 · August 2009

I agree with most of you! Especially about the part of saving money and how we was never NOT together. We just recently officially move in together. He has unofficially been a tenant here since DEC. We fuss about the cleaning all the time. I hate folding clothes and he refuses to clean the tub. He is here fusing about the Sex right now. Talking about you can't stop giving it up now that you got me. LMAO!!!

nubiannqween · August 2009

My FI and I do not presently live together. We are planning to move in together about 6 months before our wedding. That way we can get our feet wet with living together and not have to worry about a move after the wedding. I like it this way, I shacked up once before and I felt that I wasted time, and it didn't work out...I swore I wouldnt do it again unless my wedding date was soon there after.

dst10spr97 · August 2009

My fiance and I currently live together. We lived 6 hours apart for the first 1.5 years we were dating and with wanting to get married and everything it was just more feasible to go ahead and move in together, especially financially. I really don't have too many cons when it comes to him. He cleans, he cooks, etc. The one issue I'm having is with my MIL. That's another thread.

rhodesign · August 2009

Crystalis, are we dating the same man? LOL! That is us to a T! We both hate cleaning, fight about it, then clean together! =)Anyway, I told FI I wasn't going to live with him until we were engaged. I have no moral issue with it, and my family certain care (my own grandma asked me when we were moving in together!), I just think that sometimes people think that living together is a guarantee that you're gonna be able to get married and stay married, and that simply isn't true. Living with him has only taught me that he doesn't clip his toenails near often enough and that he's a stickler for doing laundry. =)I also kinda feel like if people live together too long before getting married (or rather without the initial intent on it) then they are less likely to try as hard to solve problems when they arise, because the mentality isn't that this is permanent and that all problems should be worked out. I don't think that's a good way to think going into marriage. Again, this is just my thoughts on it and I know it isn't applicable to all people!

withmike · August 2009

We didnt live together until a month before the wedding. I enjoyed it and after the marriage I still enjoy it. The con is that you will live with his quirks a bit earlier than expected!

Lady05 · August 2009

Yes, FI and I live together and have for the pass 8yrs. There are pro's and con's to everyones situation.I know what he does that gets on my nervous and vice versa. We have truly saved money living under one roof. We went from renters to homeowners and its great! Just think now your on your way to sharing bank accounts... lol ... just keep one for yourself for a rainy day or that great shoe sale. LMOL HTH

pawdap · August 2009

FI and I have been living together for 5 years. I hate when leave his dirty socks everywhere. Keep the vehicles maintained.

ladylum · August 2009

We lived together for 8 months. Actually it is good. I hate to cook and he can cook his butt off. He hates to clean and I love it so it's all good. Pros: Financially we are doing good, just bought a brand new car!Cons: Don't know yet. Will know after the wedding.

jboyd23 · August 2009

Amen about giving up the goods! Someone should have warned me it was gonna be like that! We didnt live together until last month, so only two months prior to wedding.. It was not feasible to spend rent on two more months when I needed to go ahead and move in any way. But now seeing how it is, I can see how folks get comfy after living together and just dont get married. Honestly if the wedding wasnt already in place, I would have continued not to pressure him about engagement and we'd be the oldest boyfriend and girlfriend couple until we die! I set the preceedent though on the first date, JBoyd doesnt shack, if you want it, put a ring on it and then holla at me. That's just me though and what I knew I wanted for myself, probably because I knew if we shacked I'd get real comfortable and be in a relationship for like 30 yrs without marriage.

Blkswnn · August 2009

Not yet, but we will be moving in together in the next couple of months.

trevette1981 · August 2009

Christynah- hopefully you come back in this thread so you can answer my question!LOL. My SO and I don't plan to live together before either. (For the same reason you told your FI. LOL) He's buying a house within the next yr so we would be set there. I just want to ask how are you able to wait til the wedding? Not like, "Girl, you crazy!" but like, with leases, if you are renting an apartment? I currently rent, on a yr lease and I'm like when the time comes, how am I going to get outta this thing? It's like, I might be stuck and we are gonna have to plan around this thing.LOL I'm not an advocate of leaving the parents house then going to the home of the husband without living alone, but without al ease, they have an advantage.LMAOBut then I may just be making something simple, a lot more complicated.LOL

MrClintonsFirstLady09 · August 2009

This is a good one. FI and I live together right now. And I have always felt like that is putting the cart before the horse you know. But the good thing is he asked for my hand in marriage and I didn't have to wait for years for him to do it. Because I am #1 a preacher's daughter and #2 grew up ruled with the Kings James Version of the Bible (grandma didn't play), I know that this is not what God intended for me. There is no in between about it and I do recognize it. But what I do pray for is that though I have not lived the way he wanted me to, I asked that he bless my union and as long as I keep him first and recognize he is the strength and source of everything that I do, he keep us whole as a couple and we enter into our marriage strong and solid. With living with him I get to know his habits. I get to know most of who is. You never really know a person no matter how much time you are with them, but you get to know the basics. I cannot really say there is a con to this part. I do wish however I can get him to abstain from intercourse. He really is not with that. I don't think too many men are, but I wish he would because that would give us a chance to enter into this somewhat the correct way. If that makes sense lol.

nitaashanti78 · August 2009

Fi and I don't want to live together until we get married. It's not so much US, I think it's because we both have been in previous relationships in which living together did not work out. I have been engaged before and me and that guy were together for 7 years. I was engaged for 5. :0/ Wasn't interested in getting into that again, and fi had a similar situation. By the time he graduates next year, we're be getting married, so we'll be looking for a place together then. Obviously my parents are all for this LOLI think everyone's situation is different, but I do think that if you have been living together with somebody for a long time, marriage kind of gets less important (not true with everyone, again it's probably just me).

aquarius125 · August 2009

FI and I are in the process of buying our first home together now and plan to move by Oct (by the grace of God

) in Oct we will have been together 3 yrs and we will have 1 yr before the wedding. We didn't want to live together until we were engaged. I don't care and never have about "shacking up" We are moving together now b/c we are ready for that chapter of our relationship. I personally think it will give us the opportunity to see how well we work as a team. And as the old saying goes "you really never know a person until you have lived with them " but seriously different strokes for different folks. Everyone has to do what works best for them at the end of the day.

braxtongirl · August 2009

ok KIR.. it is just cheaper to say together. We are in a recession and it is hard to live on your own. I live in the DMV area and was born here. It is so hard to have something in this area and not live in the hood. I had a talk with my GOD before it and I just hope (and I believe) that he understands. I think so because he doesn't make any mistakes and I think that he put FI in my life 6 years prior for a reason.

Poll: Did you live with your Hubby or are dtaying with your FI before the Wedding?

Re: Poll: Did you live with your Hubby or are dtaying with your FI before the Wedding?

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