FI's SIL is very, very tom-boy. Doesn't own a dress, a pair of heels, etc. She lives in sweats and sneakers. Her and I are completely different. Ok, fine enough. Back when FI and I were newly engaged, she was the only one who harrassed us (for lack of a better phrase) about who was in the wedding party. No mystery to that, as FI is one of 4, and he would be having everyone in the wedding. So, to end the endless questioning, FI asked her to be in the wedding. (Obviously, she was going to be in it, our thought was this will stop the inappropriate q's) And FI asked everyone else at this time also. Like I said, they are all siblings and SIL's, a given they would be in it. Now, every Sunday we go to FI's Mom's house for dinner. Everyone is there every Sunday. If I drive (usually every other week) it's known that my wedding binder is in the back of my car. So either FI's Mom or other SIL's will ask to see it, see what's been done, blah, blah. And of course, they want to look at the magazines for the BM dress selections. All SIL's ooh and aah over the pages, commenting on what they like, what they hate, etc. Tom-boy BM simply hates any dress that the others like. (For the record: Girls will pick out their own dresses, as I can care less.) Point of post: Can I ask Tom-boy BM if she would rather wear pants? FI says No, that she'll feel stuck-out. But wouldn't she rather feel comfortable than standing in front of everyone in a dress that she hates? Which is why I still don't understand why she wanted to be "in" it so bad? She had to know she would have to get dressed up. And also, just some back-ground info: Tom-boy is married to FI's brother and did wear a dress to her own wedding. Although she still says all these years later how much she hated it.