To see before or not: That is the question

allie76 · August 2009

I know there have been several discussions on this before, but I'm struggling with it again. I can't decide if I want to see FI before the ceremony so that we can get some wonderful pictures together. I love the idea of not seeing each other, but want some great pics too. My wedding is later in the afternoon so I'm just concerned that there will not be time to take a lot of the pics I want of he and I.What are y'all doing?

allisonunc · August 2009

We are not seeing each other beforehand. I'm just really excited for that feeling I'll have seeing him for the first time! We don't have a large family though, so we won't have many posed pictures to take after the ceremony. We'll have about an hour to take pictures of the two of us!

keserzan · August 2009

No way in heck will he see me until I walk down that aisle!

I want the doors opening, organ booming, tears of joy, holy cow I'm on my way to get married excitement that I don't think I can recreate by him taking a sneak peek before hand. Others have their own opinions, saying that the excitement wasn't any less. But honestly, you only get one shot, so they don't actually know if it would have been more exciting to do it the other way. I want good pictures too, but most of mine will be taken later at the garden (reception location) instead of at the church anyway. Good luck with your decision though.

abozz · August 2009

I feel the same way as keserzan. I want that flood of excitement/emotion to hit me! and him! I'll let my guests enjoy their free drinks while we take pictures, haha.

Pinky09 · August 2009

we did not see each other, we had a afternoon ceremony and had PLENTY of time for pictures!! It's the best feeling, when your walking down the aisle and you see each other for the first time.

katherineUTC · August 2009

The mgr of my venue told me we'd have plenty of time after the ceremony to take pics and that our photographer should be able to keep that organized (I guess he was pretty shocked when I told him that our photographer highly recommends seeing each other beforehand). I have no desire to attend cocktail hour, that's supposed to be our hour to take pics. Still, though, I'm not 100% sure I dont want to see each other beforehand. FI never gets very emotional about anything, so I cant see a whole lot of emotion out of him as I'm coming down the aisle, so I really dont think not seeing each other beforehand would have any impact... lol.

BentleyBaby · August 2009

We are seeing one another before the ceremony. I used to want that moment so I definitely know how you feel. But after we thought about it, we decided to do it before and now I'm really happy about it. Our ceremony is also later in the evening in the fall so we would miss the daylight if we didn't. I'm happy we'll be able to share that moment (relatively) alone. Plus I've heard from several brides that they get caught up in the moment when they're walking down the aisle that they miss his face at that very first moment. You'll have great pics no matter what.

But it's up to the both of you to pick.

mdalton01 · August 2009

We are taking pictures before the ceremony. I am not traditional, so it was an easy decision. I dont want to miss cocktail hour or the musician we hired for the cocktail hour.. Plus I think it might take some stress off of us

laudanum1 · August 2009

We saw each other before. It wasn't so much for the "big suprise & emotions" part. Yes, the moment was special & the sniffly emotions did come, but that wasn't why we chose to do it. The main reason we did it was to spend some real time w/ each other before we got swept away in the chaos that is "The Big Day". Except for those 20 minutes, we were never completely alone again until 2:30 the next morning. That was our time. We walked, held hands, & talked. After the initial meeting, even the cameras went away. I have no pictures of those moments :)Oh, & it was also nice to get the family photos out of the way. We were able to take some more photos of just us right after the ceremony, & then we headed to the reception in time to get most of the guest greeting out of the way before dinner was served.Personally, I say don't listen to any of us & do what feels right between the two of you, whether that's waiting to see each other, or seeing each other beforehand in private.

katycouts · August 2009

We are waiting my favorite part of the wedding is when the groom 1st sees the bride

I cant wait

Beantown Mama · August 2009

I agree with the PP that said do whatever YOU want to do. Personally, I am choosing not to see Fi before the ceremony. I want to get that huge rush when he first sees me in my dress and he is waiting for me at the end of the aisle. Will we have less time for pictures? Yes. Do I care? No.

midnite007x · August 2009

allie - i am glad you posted this b/c this is one of my biggest issues that i cant decide on. i know i have plenty of time. we are outside on the beach and it is a little bit of a walk from the house to the wedding spot so there really wont be any "grand entrance" for me and he will see me coming from a distance. we are not having a cocktail hour so i dont want a bunch of impatient guests waiting either. he has a HUGE family so those pics alone will take forever. i am leaning towards getting some of the pics out of the way early.BUT as pp said....its that moment that we make eye contact and he sees me for the first time that i am really not sure i want to give up.

arobertson62282 · August 2009

We're getting all family portraits out of the way with the exception of anything where the Bride and Groom are in the picture together - we'll save those for right after the wedding which hopefully won't take long. We both agree that we're excited about that rush of emotion.

swimher14 · August 2009

We're doing what Ashley is doing- any picture that can be done without the two of us together will be done beforehand. At first I wanted to see FI but he is really against it, and waiting has grown on me.

allie76 · August 2009

Thanks for the responses ladies--I will definately do what FI and I want to do. It's just that I can't make up my mind..lol! But it is interesting to hear what all of you are doing.

sistergh · August 2009

We're doing two ceremonies, a Hindu ceremony, with a break to change, and then an Episcopal ceremony. I don't think I'll see fi in either outfit before walking in just because of the logistics of it all. (He'll arrive separately for the Hindu ceremony after our guests have assembled, then we'll have a bunch of waiting people for the Christian part so no time for pics.) If we were just doing a Christian ceremony, though, I think I would have wanted to see each other first. I've seen some really cute pics of that "moment" when couples arrange meetings before their photo sessions. (I think birdcagebride had some, maybe?) I also think it would calm me down some.

bagantt · August 2009

I can agree with and support both sides of this dilemma. However, having just been at my FI's brother's wedding and seeing how long the pictures took afterwards, etc, we have decided to do pictures beforehand. The pictures aren't the only reason though. I know that both of us will be considerably nervous on the day of and we will have our photographer present to take pictures of our "first look." This will help us take some of the edge off. Like Laud said, it will be our time together. Plus, I want to be able to mingle with guests and enjoy the cocktail hour! We will try to take as many family pictures/wedding party pictures as possible before the ceremony to get it all out of the way!

heatherjesse · August 2009

i really wanted to wait, but we ultimately decided to do pictures before the ceremony. our ceremony was at 630 and turns out that taking pics before was really best practically because we could not have gotten the pictures that we wanted to afterward based on limitations of the venue, reception time and daylight. with that said, i got all the butterflies and tears and so did DH. i really think that the pictures that were captured of that moment will be some of our favorites. we were surrounded by just our closest friends (only the 4 members of our bridal party) and the photographer. it was very intimate and wonderful and i would not have it any other way. it was really an awesome moment! and we were then able to immediately talk about how much we love each other and how great we thought the other looked which was really nice! do what you ultimately feel is right for you, but know that nothing will be ruined or taken away from your reveal moment by doing it prior to the ceremony.

birdcagebride · August 2009

DH was sooo against this in the beginning..but afterwards, he was so glad we did. I don't know how we would have had time for pictures during cocktail hour...everything happens faster than you plan it. Our pics of our first look are pretty much the favorites...besides the one in my siggy

andrea01012009 · August 2009

if you've been living with him and having sex before the wedding then i'm not sure why it matters if he sees you before the wedding... the wedding night is just another day of sex. if you've earned the right to wear the white dress then i would wait and see each other coming down the aisle.

kgaliger · August 2009

We're seeing each other before partly because neither one of us feels strongly about the whole first look down the aisle. Also we're having a 5pm ceremony so time wise it also makes more sense and we can get all the pictures in that we want. Also, I was at my friends wedding a few weeks back as a BM and they didn't do any of their BP pics before even though they had the time - we were there for almost an hour and a half after the ceremony taking pictures and it was a 5:30 ceremony. So I want to be able to get all the BP pictures done before the ceremony.

smlinebe · August 2009

We did not see each other before the ceremony (I mean, not dressed and such, I did see him b/c I lived with him so when I woke up, he was there) and I wouldn't have had it any other way. His face when he saw me come down the aisle was priceless

To see before or not: That is the question

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