Lanie

KristenBtobe · August 2009

That emmeb on attachment parenting is beyond irritating. I can't wait for one of those peace and love, co sleeping can't put my baby down for a nap mommies goes off on her.

lanie26 · August 2009

bahahahaha. I KNOW. "Bunny will have boob shaped bottles and pretend nurse from daddy. Bunny will never touch anything plastic. OUr family and friends will obey our wishes about no plastic toys or spoons or bottles. Bunny will only cosleep because cribs cause demons. Bunny will be attached to us completely. Bunny will be homeschooled in the waldorf tradition from birth to age 12 and then will be going to montessori school where he'll engage in age appropriate social skills (OMG HAVE YOU investigated that school? NUUUUUUUUUUTS) Bunny bunny bunny.She takes the cake.

KristenBtobe · August 2009

She's an annoying know it all. I can't stay away from that board though. It's general wackiness keeps luring me back.OMG, the no plastic conversation killed me. I keep picturing those people feeding their kids organic produce with twigs fashioned into spoons. Our local elementary school is a montessori, the Waldorf philosophy is a bit wacky for us. When do they learn math and science? So is that Emmilo Reggia or whatever that lady who holds her kid over the toilet uses.

mrs.R.tobe · August 2009

I have never been on the attachment parenting board. So, do they "wear" their babies at all times? I don't really understand it....

FallinAgain · August 2009

I need a link to the crazy lady please.

mrs.R.tobe · August 2009

http://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/20945858.aspxNipples covered in scabs, nice...

KristenBtobe · August 2009

http://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/20875741.aspxHere's an example. She's like this on every effing topic.

mrs.R.tobe · August 2009

Lanie, I was just reading a post over there, and noticed you said you hated the first six months. Did you have PPD? I am just curious.

lindsayll · August 2009

elimination communication = being your kid's b!tch. That is the height of insanity.And is the AP know it all poohbah seriously someone who hasn't even given birth yet? That's rich.

ftnups · August 2009

God can you imagine how annoying that woman is in real life? Sanctimonious asswipes. I am bummed that plastic post is on the second page, I want to post and just say "I love plastic."

Vinny08 · August 2009

I was just going to mention that Lindsay. Not to be all, "you'll understand when you are a mother," but why is she commenting on a thread about nursing to soothe when she hasn't been in that situation yet? Yes, I read that article too. Actually, that same information is in most of the books that the majority of the women here have read. I haven't spent much time on AP, but does she really do this often (commenting on child rearing techniques)?

lindsayll · August 2009

And look at your gloriously worshiping plastic orbs

lindsayll · August 2009

insert son between your and gloriously

KristenBtobe · August 2009

Yes, she's like that on evey topic. Can it, lady.http://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/20843089.aspx

mrs.R.tobe · August 2009

She must be crazy, she is not getting a swing. That swing is my best friend.

lanie26 · August 2009

I don't think i had PPD though at the time I was convinced my feelings were abnormal. I think I was trapped, exhausted, with a baby who never ever slept and just felt disappointed about not loving it. Motherhood promises this glowing timewhere you're just in love all the time. My baby was not that baby. She was a fussy touchy sleepless thing that I hated being attached to all day long. I never stopped nursing. ever. It was like being constantly attached to a leech. But I kept it up out of guilt and obligation. I don't believe I will nurse the next one. At least not as obsessively. When I went back to work, I was immediately well again. I sometimes wonder if women are labeled too soon and drugged for PPD when really, they just need someone to say "oh yeah, it completely sucks man. " And acknowledgment that hating those first few months is actually as normal as loving them. Obviously women who are thinking about hurting themselves or their child need assistance, but I think we drug women too early in the process and keep reality from them too often. Maybe because its easier to give someone a scrip than help them out. I read so many books, SO many books, and not one described the pain of exhaustion, the lonlieness or the fear in a way that would make me say "OMG, that sounds tough." I remember the first time I met a mom like me who whispered "oh the only reason I didn't shake her was because I kept thinking "what would people think?" Everyone was horrified. I completely understood. She and I remain friends. I think the problem with AP is that it sets that goal for women so high, that everyone will fail. Everyone. And it guilts women into doing something that IMO, isn't natural.

lanie26 · August 2009

Robe, swings and baby seats are called "containers" over there. A woman was complaining that whenever she comes home from her weekly massage her husband has their twins in "containers." She wondered why he wasn't as up on physical bonding as she was. Uh. Jo was on the floor or in a container for the first 6 months. Then she started crawling, probably to try and find someone to love her.

mrs.R.tobe · August 2009

I kind of know what you mean lanie. I had baby blues the first two weeks. I cried more than the baby. I never felt the way you did about the baby, but sometimes I would feel trapped. It's such a huge change and it's a lot to take in so soon. Plus the whole not sleeping thing.

MadameS · August 2009

Kristen, am I making this up, or did you guys use cloth diapers on Mags? if I remember right, it wasn't a full time thing. I'm just curious as to how well that worked. I can't imagine.

Irishgrl417 · August 2009

Lanie, you're one of the few people I know who has been so honest about the reality of having a baby. I appreciate that and I hope you're still posting when I finally get around to having spawn. Whenever I think of my H's night working schedule and actually having a baby it makes me sweat.

EABwork · August 2009

LAnie, I have a feeling that we are very much alike, and I will be the same way once a have a little person. I was telling a friend that I would be perfectly happy being knocked out for the birth only to wake up with a perfectly clean an dry baby in my arms with my hair and makeup done. I also want them to go from infant to 1 1/2 in 3 days.

lanie26 · August 2009

My experience isnt' everyone's. But I do believe my husband's crazy schedule contributed to the chaos. I applaud women whose husbands work overseas or who go away for months at a time. J worked from 5 - 10 either overnights or days for months. So I got no rest, no break. There was no one to hand her to and i felt guilty asking him to wake up at night so I could sleep more than 1/2 an hour at a time. I found that challenging. However, I will say I do like when he works nights now. I get some "me" time and she goes to bed at 7:30. It gets better and easier but the beginning was tough. Now that Jo is older, and more independent I wouldn't trade this experience for anything. She is truly awesome! This morning I woke up to "MOOOOOOOOMMYYYY! Pee pee? MOMMMY where are you? (where awww youuuuu?) I love that little chunk.

ftnups · August 2009

Really Irish? I feel like all the moms on here have been pretty honest about it. I didn't have as many challenges with Matt (I'd say he was pretty average - not an EASY baby but not especially difficult either) and it's still a tough time. It's very consuming, no matter the disposition of your baby, and more than anything I don't think most moms are prepared for the vigilance that goes with parenthood. Or at least IIt's very tiring and straining and it's always there. The newborn period and all the demands of it are the primary reason I don't think we will end up having another one.

Vinny08 · August 2009

I just gotta say, I know this is a very unpopular opinion, but the day I started loving motherhood was the day I stopped trying to BF. Granted, it wasn't very long into his life (10 days) but those first days were filled with such anxiety, depression, and an overwhealming sense of failure.Our pediatrician called me after one of our appointments to ask me if I was okay and to see if I wanted to talk about possible PPD. I knew that I didn't have PPD and that his feedings were the only thing that I was concerned about. The day I stopped, I seriously had such a sense of relief.Just wanted to put that out there in internet land.

ftnups · August 2009

And I should add, similar to Lanie's h's work schedule - I did have a rather exceptional family crisis to deal with when Matt was only 8 weeks old or so. Among other things, I was pretty much a single mommy from 10 weeks til 6 months. I have to remind myself that it wouldn't be anywhere near the same the second time around (or dear God I would hope not).

CaliopeSpidrman · August 2009

Lanie and Fitty tell the truth about raising their babies. Noisy and Kristen cannot be trusted. They lie.

Irishgrl417 · August 2009

B works 7 days on, 7 off from 7pm-7am except on Sat & Sun when he goes in at 9. It's great the week he has off but when he has work it sucks and he winds up sleeping most of the day. I'm going to have to pray all our future kids come early in a week he has off and that he'd be able to take vacation. At least babies eventually turn into cool toddlers like Jo.

lanie26 · August 2009

Yes fitty! Meeee toooo! I am terrified to have another but we are committed to trying again when she's 2. But you know what? This time I'm going to get a night nanny, and some help. Because I'll be prepared and I don't know if I'll breastfeed again. We'll take that one day at a time.

FallinAgain · August 2009

I think that everyone has been honest, but I don't think anyone else has said that they genuinely hated motherhood for the first few months the way Lanie has. Now that may be b/c no one else felt that way. I do appreciate hearing Lanie's experience that you can hate infancy and still come to a place where you enjoy being mommy.

lanie26 · August 2009

Oooh Irish, you will HATE him when he sleeps. I remember watching him sleep and shaking with fury. Of course that was absurd and irrational. But I hated him. We laugh about it now. He was totally hands on and helpful. I just felt guilty waking him. Also, not everyone has a tough time. Doesn't mean they aren't honest. They just have a better experience.

Irishgrl417 · August 2009

Oh, I wasn't comparing Lanie to other moms here just the ones I know irl. You're right most of the moms here don't sugar coat it but I don't remember off the top of my head any examples close to how she described the first few months.Let me revise: I hope all you non-crazy moms on here are still posting when I get around to having kids because the bump scares me.

Lanie

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