now i'm not a mom

hmonkey · August 2009

but i would punch any friend right in the junk drawer if she gave me any of these cards, especially the "i forgot your birthday because i have kids".http://tinyurl.com/ll8d4m

*Candi* · August 2009

DED @ "Stephanie, Your Boobs Look Awesome"

DG1 · August 2009

Ugh. Those are definitely "mom to mom" only. And even at that they're not really that funny.Have you seen the "mom cards?" Basically, it's a business card for SAHMs. Has your name/phone/email, then "Mom to Jayden and Brayden." Those truly disgust me.

TheDuckis · August 2009

DG, really? They make those? That sounds like someone's trying way too hard to legitimize their choice to stay at home. DISCLAIMER: I am not saying that the choice needs to be legitimized. If you can do it, more power to you. I'm saying if you stay home, then you try to hand out business cards, you're probably not too comfortable with staying at home.

~~Busy.~~ · August 2009

Kids do age you. No joke.

I blame it on the lack of sleep.

baconsmom · August 2009

Why would a SAHM need business cards? If you want social cards, just order them - why put your womb status on there? But really, whom do you meet in a day when you SAHM? The grocery-store clerk? The librarian? The mailman? FFS. And I don't care how many kids you have - you'd better remember my damn birthday.

DG1 · August 2009

Agreed, TD. Seems a bit desperate.Apparently the logic is that you want to exchange info for playdates, and it's sad that you are always having to scramble for pen & paper, when you can just exchange these! Not bad logic, but I don't see why it can't just be a name & phone number instead of being all "I am somebody's MOM! I am important!" Or, you know, keep a pad & pen handy for these types of situations.Mommy Cards, Mom business cards, mommy calling cards

*Candi* · August 2009

As far as the birthday- it's called a calendar and even better, you can have a Google calendar that will -shocker- remind you as many times as you need, even on your phone.

hmonkey · August 2009

i don't think this is mom-to-mom nonsense. this is some smug bull that is junkpunch worthy.

LnR70707 · August 2009

ahahahahaha @ sending a card to let your friend know she can talk to you.

DG1 · August 2009

eh. I won't lie - several of those rang true to me. But not in a funny way. More in a sad way. Like Busy said, kids age you. I have the boobs of an 80yo and the eye bags to match. And seriously. Bigdates.com is teh awesomest.

E Squared · August 2009

I'm inclined to agree with you, funkymonkey.

baconsmom · August 2009

My kid didn't age me. But I already had the boobs of an 80-y-o, so who'd know the difference?

~~Busy.~~ · August 2009

DG, want to come to NY for a breastlift and a tummytuck? Perhaps we can get a discount if we go in together.

E Squared · August 2009

I also picture SIL trying to send me schit like this when I decide to procreate. ::waits for her Dec. 28th "sorry i forgot" card::

DG1 · August 2009

Busy, I'm in.And sorry, you people with your perky boobs and always-clean hair and full nights of sleep can NOT fully relate. I promise. We can still be friends, though.

hmonkey · August 2009

how kind of you to let me be your friend.

baconsmom · August 2009

Tuesdays are the new rumble days, aren't they?

NOLABridesmaid · August 2009

Speaking of perky boobs. Maybe I've been looking at mind too long, but don't her nips seem very high?This is just a small commerical break. Please continue.

hmonkey · August 2009

nola, that's the problem you see with this photo? maybe that's only the first on a very long list.NOTE TO SELF: never talk to my own mother until i have kids. clearly, we have nothing to talk about.

NOLABridesmaid · August 2009

Ha. No, there are more, but those headlights caught my attention.

DG1 · August 2009

Well, when you've had that much work done, something's gonna slip out of place.And V, your hatred of me knows no bounds. I get it. Put me back on ignore already.And I didn't say I couldn't talk to anyone who didn't have kids. I just said you can't fully (that was a key word I intentionally included) relate to the parts of my life that have changed since I had a kid. Which is quite a bit of it, including pretty basic things like what I wear, how often I bathe, how much and when I sleep, what I eat, how much TV I watch, how much energy I have to put into researching the health care bills, and the short list of cars I'm looking to buy.I never said I was *better* than you because I had a kid. In fact, in a lot of ways, I'm worse. But I know I'm *different* than I was when I didn't have a kid. We can't all be Nicole, you know.

VarunaTT · August 2009

You know, maybe you just need to proofread what you post.B/c all of this, "But I know I'm *different* than I was when I didn't have a kid." is REASONABLE and anyone with some common sense would allow you that.However, the smug superiority you've been exhibiting lately re: your unique viewpoint of motherhood as compared to anyone else, is BS. You are not unique. There are millions of mothers and parents in this world, who will share and not share viewpoints with you. Hell, there are plenty of other mothers ON THIS BOARD who have different viewpoints than you. But somehow, you seem to think that you will all magically agree or that your viewpoint HAS to be the right one and that all of the women w/out children can't POSSIBLY be empathetic/sympathetic or have their own problems. It's flat out disgusting and self centered.

hmonkey · August 2009

it's not the smugness in "you can't fully understand" when you seem to think we can't understand at all.

VarunaTT · August 2009

Oh and BTW, I don't FULLY understand this: what I wear, how often I bathe, how much and when I sleep, what I eat, how much TV I watch, how much energy I have to put into researching the health care bills, and the short list of cars I'm looking to buy.About anyone but myself.Nor do I think those tasks are again, unique to YOU. Or just difficult b/c of your "unique" situation.Hell, O-face had difficulty buying a car. Can you relate to HER difficulty? Or does she just get to be flamed for not making a decision, why would should all fall all over overselves b/c you have a child?

PMeg819 · August 2009

DG, stop it. Just stop. So if people have insomnia it's not as bad as having a kid who wakes up? Hell, I've spent months on end getting two to three hours of sleep a night. I guess that's nothing. Stop acting a martyr. You wanted children. Stop acting like you've made the ultimate sacrifice. Yes, your body sucks right now. Yes, you're tired. Yes, you don't have crazy fun nights. Yes, you don't get to spend frivolously. But honestly, I can't see how much you changed pre- and post-baby. You hated your appearance before kids, you were cheap before kids, and you bemoaned your life before kids. Listen here special snowflake, stop acting like we don't get it. But the truth of it is, some of us do. And those of us who don't, can still empathize because we're human.

DG1 · August 2009

"all i know is, if someone says to me things like, "you'll understand when you have a kid" or similar, it's infuriating. what's to understand? i don't understand that getting up several times in a night is going to make you tired the next day? i don't understand that giving birth to a kid is going to change someone's body? is it that hard to understand, or i just need to experience it for myself before i am giving the credit for not being a moron."I guess it's the difference between knowing something on an intellectual level ("not sleeping makes you tired the next day" - duh) and living through it and then really understanding what it's like not to sleep well for months on end. I've never had to put a pet to sleep. I'm sure it really sucks, but do I fully understand that loss? No. Would other pet owners have exactly the same experience as you and feel exactly the same? Probably not. Would they be able to relate better than I would? Absolutely.And of course I don't agree with all of the other moms about everything. Please see FB video evidence of my luring my child with a donut on Saturday. Do you know how many flames that would get on the baby boards? A donut for a baby? Mon dieu! And my car shopping is equally flameworthy. I know it. I just haven't shared as much.

DG1 · August 2009

got it. check.

VarunaTT · August 2009

I deleted that b/c it was bolding things.You are totally missing the point. You have to be willfully doing so as well. I refuse to believe someone as intelligent as you can act like this w/out just being in total and willful denial.

DG1 · August 2009

1.5 babies have eaten my brain. Please explain it to me in very simple terms. I happened to get a mostly full night of sleep last night, so I might be able to understand.

VarunaTT · August 2009

~eyeroll~ Playing dumb is unattractive as well. I'm pretty sure no one busted out more than a 3 syllable word in their responses.__________________________________You know, maybe you just need to proofread what you post.B/c all of this, "But I know I'm *different* than I was when I didn't have a kid." is REASONABLE and anyone with some common sense would allow you that.However, the smug superiority you've been exhibiting lately re: your unique viewpoint of motherhood as compared to anyone else, is BS. You are not unique. There are millions of mothers and parents in this world, who will share and not share viewpoints with you. Hell, there are plenty of other mothers ON THIS BOARD who have different viewpoints than you. But somehow, you seem to think that you will all magically agree or that your viewpoint HAS to be the right one and that all of the women w/out children can't POSSIBLY be empathetic/sympathetic or have their own problems. It's flat out disgusting and self centered. "5,000 people die each year from contaminated food. We went to war with Iraq when 3,000 Americans showed up for work and were killed in a terrorist attack!” ~ Rep. Rosa DeLauro (D-CT) --> now i'm not a mom--> From: hmonkey Date: 8/18/2009 at 11:28 AM it's not the smugness in "you can't fully understand" when you seem to think we can't understand at all. "silly silly idiotick hmonkey you would rather continue to pick on me as if you were so so much better ugh you are a mean jerk. ." -- ffmaid --> now i'm not a mom--> From: Wifezzilla Date: 8/18/2009 at 11:30 AM all i know is, if someone says to me things like, "you'll understand when you have a kid" or similar, it's infuriating. what's to understand? i don't understand that getting up several times in a night is going to make you tired the next day? i don't understand that giving birth to a kid is going to change someone's body? is it that hard to understand, or i just need to experience it for myself before i am giving the credit for not being a moron.i have responsibilities in my life, and they are not 100% similar to every single person i know. I’d rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints. --> now i'm not a mom--> From: VarunaTT Date: 8/18/2009 at 11:31 AM Oh and BTW, I don't FULLY understand this: what I wear, how often I bathe, how much and when I sleep, what I eat, how much TV I watch, how much energy I have to put into researching the health care bills, and the short list of cars I'm looking to buy.About anyone but myself.Nor do I think those tasks are again, unique to YOU. Or just difficult b/c of your "unique" situation.Hell, O-face had difficulty buying a car. Can you relate to HER difficulty? Or does she just get to be flamed for not making a decision, why would should all fall all over overselves b/c you have a child? "5,000 people die each year from contaminated food. We went to war with Iraq when 3,000 Americans showed up for work and were killed in a terrorist attack!” ~ Rep. Rosa DeLauro (D-CT) --> now i'm not a mom--> From: PMeg819 Date: 8/18/2009 at 11:38 AM DG, stop it. Just stop. So if people have insomnia it's not as bad as having a kid who wakes up? Hell, I've spent months on end getting two to three hours of sleep a night. I guess that's nothing. Stop acting a martyr. You wanted children. Stop acting like you've made the ultimate sacrifice. Yes, your body sucks right now. Yes, you're tired. Yes, you don't have crazy fun nights. Yes, you don't get to spend frivolously. But honestly, I can't see how much you changed pre- and post-baby. You hated your appearance before kids, you were cheap before kids, and you bemoaned your life before kids. Listen here special snowflake, stop acting like we don't get it. But the truth of it is, some of us do. And those of us who don't, can still empathize because we're human.

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