Can you believe this??

MISSCOURTNEY20 · September 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_can-believe-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:148c229f-1568-4ac3-b8d4-523f26e1e079Post:c7f15486-237d-4b6f-9b5d-d65e12bd3e70">Re: Can you believe this??</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Can you believe this?? : I've found that a shower is very rarely for financial gain, aren't they typically for celebration? So the logic is missing in that person's argument unless what she really meant was "I don't like going to showers for women who aren't married because I dont believe in having children outside of marriage." In that case I'd say I disagree but its certainly not an unusual opinion; she made it sound like she just assumes every single woman with a kid on the way is also broke, and is making the incorrect assumption that being married means you do have money. I personally despise women who have kids, regardless of their marital status, and can't afford them because that means those of us who do plan for the future correctly and work hard for what they've got get to pay for those other peoples' kids whether it's welfare because the mom cant care for her five kids and hold down a job, or because she cant afford health insurance so every headache or fever means a trip to the 'free' ER, etc.
Posted by vegasgroom[/QUOTE]

Well, I am going to air my dirty laundry and say that there was a time when I was on welfare. I had had my son, and was only working a part time job at a grocery store. I could have looked for a full time job at a bank or something but I really wanted to finish college. I received welfare (medical card and food stamps) until I graduated from college 5 years later. I am grateful for the welfare system because it helped me take care of my son. I think that I used it how it was designed to be used. I am no way near supportive of people who live their whole lives on welfare and do nothing to better themselves.

**Taking my bow**

MISSCOURTNEY20 · September 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_can-believe-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:148c229f-1568-4ac3-b8d4-523f26e1e079Post:a839723c-4f2e-4317-8d17-5937ce7d7917">Re: Can you believe this??</a>:
[QUOTE]Your FI's mom is a lunatic bitch.
Posted by BecW2be[/QUOTE]

Yeah that's one crazy heffa!!

How ya like her these days??

MissDuke2012 · September 2010

I agree. I think she's becoming senile in her old age. You should spend a week with her. I'm sure you'd fall in love with her.

She didn't even want his name on her birth certificate.

AllAboutTheBenjamin · September 2010

Lunatic bitch is definitely right on the money. Nice one, Bec.

kd.joseph · September 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_can-believe-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:148c229f-1568-4ac3-b8d4-523f26e1e079Post:c5b23a36-cd70-4dfa-8c42-c82a55e310eb">Re: Can you believe this??</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Can you believe this?? : Well, I am going to air my dirty laundry and say that there was a time when I was on welfare. I had had my son, and was only working a part time job at a grocery store. I could have looked for a full time job at a bank or something but I really wanted to finish college. I received welfare (medical card and food stamps) until I graduated from college 5 years later. I am grateful for the welfare system because it helped me take care of my son. I think that I used it how it was designed to be used. I am no way near supportive of people who live their whole lives on welfare and do nothing to better themselves. **Taking my bow**
Posted by MISSCOURTNEY20[/QUOTE]

I say Amen to this.

And on a side note no one was going after my ex for my measlely 19 a week he was supposed to pay me on unemployment. And then when he did find a job it was a process again.

Sesh- I did meet a man that has been my sons "father" all his life. He is my ex-husband, and we still raise him together. He may be almost 20 but he still needs his parents.

vegasgroom · September 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_can-believe-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:148c229f-1568-4ac3-b8d4-523f26e1e079Post:c5b23a36-cd70-4dfa-8c42-c82a55e310eb">Re: Can you believe this??</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Can you believe this?? : Well, I am going to air my dirty laundry and say that there was a time when I was on welfare. I had had my son, and was only working a part time job at a grocery store. I could have looked for a full time job at a bank or something but I really wanted to finish college. I received welfare (medical card and food stamps) until I graduated from college 5 years later. I am grateful for the welfare system because it helped me take care of my son. I think that I used it how it was designed to be used. I am no way near supportive of people who live their whole lives on welfare and do nothing to better themselves. **Taking my bow**
Posted by MISSCOURTNEY20[/QUOTE]

I think for every success story like yours, there are ten abusers of the system. In the interest of debate though, I don't know if I'd agree on your use of welfare being what it was designed for. Obviously you have your head on straight, got a degree and sound like a good person and mother, so don't take my response as an insult or anything like that, could not be further from it. But.... my personal opinion is that your use of welfare was not what it was designed for. I don't feel like it is there so that people who have a kid before they can afford it (I'm going on the assumption that a part time grocery store job does not bring in enough to support a child), or had a kid while still in school and can't raise the kid and work full time and go to school, or can't take student loans for whatever reason, can use it for several years as a free income supplement to put themselves through school. As a tax payer, it should not be my responsibility to pay a portion of your bills because you didn't wait until you were out of school and in a full time job to have a kid when you'd have had the income and time to devote to that child. Again, had welfare not made it possible, both sides would probably be worse off now, but it's not fair to burden those that did plan ahead with the bills of those who did not.

I feel that welfare is there to help people bridge the gap from when they're out of work to finding a new job, which is why a portion of everyones taxes goes into the system, but they should be required to be actively looking for that new job. Or if welfare is to be used as a loan that never has to be paid back, well, maybe we should make it have to be paid back later on by additional income tax once the person who borrowed reaches a certain tax bracket or income level, etc. I dont' have a solution, I'm not a politician or strategist, I just know the issue of welfare abuse bothers me, and frequently abuse comes in the form of people having kids who have no business having kids at the point in their life that they have them.

vegasgroom · September 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_can-believe-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:148c229f-1568-4ac3-b8d4-523f26e1e079Post:2dad2250-8ddd-4f64-a583-664a6a9cef38">Re: Can you believe this??</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Can you believe this?? : I think that's awesome. My stepdad pretty much picked up where my dad left off and because my brother was so young, for a long time he thought he was blood-related to him (and was convinced as a kid that he would be really tall because he said he took after our stepdad). My dad is trying harder now, but it will always be like we have 2 dads. And I don't care how old you are, you always need your parents.
Posted by Seshat411[/QUOTE]

My step dad was like that too. My parents divorced when I was 5 but my father was much more stable financially so I stayed with him. That worked until I had a step-mom and he seemed to lose most interest in being a dad, so I moved in with mom and step-dad and he was really the one that was there for me in the hardest years before I was an adult. And he made the hard decisions that I hated at the time but I see the logic in after the fact. :-)

loop0406 · September 2010

I personally don't care about marital status when it's a baby shower. I am actually used to seeing baby showers for the 1st, 2nd and 3rd babies too which I recently read a post on here that it's not common.....who knew ? I don't have children but I always assumed each pregnancy/baby will have a baby shower.....

Lenore2010 · September 2010

I think there are plenty of married people whom for any number of reasons you could call having a kid a "poor life choice", but no one begrudges them baby showers.

The whole thing about these attempts to re-stigmatize single parenthood anyway is that women always take the brunt of those kinds of judgements. What about the single fathers?

*Barbie* · September 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_can-believe-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:148c229f-1568-4ac3-b8d4-523f26e1e079Post:567bf475-32d5-46da-b53e-4fc1e6ac8039">Re: Can you believe this??</a>:
[QUOTE]......................... But.... my personal opinion is that your use of welfare was not what it was designed for. I don't feel like it is there so that people who have a kid before they can afford it (I'm going on the assumption that a part time grocery store job does not bring in enough to support a child), or had a kid while still in school and can't raise the kid and work full time and go to school, or can't take student loans for whatever reason, can use it for several years as a free income supplement to put themselves through school. As a tax payer, it should not be my responsibility to pay a portion of your bills because you didn't wait until you were out of school and in a full time job to have a kid when you'd have had the income and time to devote to that child........................
Posted by vegasgroom[/QUOTE]

<div>*golf claps*</div>

chiwawa · September 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_can-believe-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:148c229f-1568-4ac3-b8d4-523f26e1e079Post:567bf475-32d5-46da-b53e-4fc1e6ac8039">Re: Can you believe this??</a>:
[QUOTE]But.... my personal opinion is that your use of welfare was not what it was designed for. I don't feel like it is there so that people who have a kid before they can afford it (I'm going on the assumption that a part time grocery store job does not bring in enough to support a child), or had a kid while still in school and can't raise the kid and work full time and go to school, or can't take student loans for whatever reason, can use it for several years as a free income supplement to put themselves through school. As a tax payer, it should not be my responsibility to pay a portion of your bills because you didn't wait until you were out of school and in a full time job to have a kid when you'd have had the income and time to devote to that child. Again, had welfare not made it possible, both sides would probably be worse off now, but it's not fair to burden those that did plan ahead with the bills of those who did not. I feel that welfare is there to help people bridge the gap from when they're out of work to finding a new job, which is why a portion of everyones taxes goes into the system, but they should be required to be actively looking for that new job. Or if welfare is to be used as a loan that never has to be paid back, well, maybe we should make it have to be paid back later on by additional income tax once the person who borrowed reaches a certain tax bracket or income level, etc. I dont' have a solution, I'm not a politician or strategist, I just know the issue of welfare abuse bothers me, and frequently abuse comes in the form of people having kids who have no business having kids at the point in their life that they have them.
Posted by vegasgroom[/QUOTE]

Absolutely. They know what causes pregnancy these days, and it's avoidable.

LedZeppelin · September 2010

I just skimmed the responses, but the OP (the quote, not courtney) make me angry. A situation is never that black and white. I may be biased, being an unwed mother, but marrying someone simply because you got pregnant with them is stupid. Having married parents who fight all the time because they can't stand each other is not beneficial to a child. Also, I could never figure out the logic of getting married after your pregnant, but before you give birth. How exactly does this make you better than an unwed mother in the eyes of Jesus?

NatesGirl16 · September 2010

In Response to Re: Can you believe this??:
[QUOTE]I think there are plenty of married people whom for any number of reasons you could call having a kid a "poor life choice", but no one begrudges them baby showers. The whole thing about these attempts to re-stigmatize single parenthood anyway is that women always take the brunt of those kinds of judgements. What about the single fathers?
Posted by Lenore2010[/QUOTE]
Yep, yep, yep!

What I don't get about the OP (again, not Courtney) is why one would be invited to a shower for a single mother that one obviously has such disdain for. Do I think my KUed cousin is in the best situation (20, unmarried and living with on again/off again "Baedaddy", as she calls him, no formal education/training after HS)? No. Did I begrudge her the money I spent on gifts and baby supplies? No. Why would I? That baby will be a part of our family and that would always seem like a cause for celebration, to me.

Somewhat funny sidebar/Airing of dirty laundry:
My family is really small and sports a trend. My mom had me when she was 18, my parents later married when I was 6 and divorced when I was about 20. My aunt was pregnant at her wedding. Cousin is pregnant, unmarried.

Mom is dying for grandkids, but obviously I'm not ready yet and want to be married for a few years first anyway. The other day she was talking about how excited she was that we'll have a baby in the family soon and how she wished she had grandkids. I said, "I know it's a family tradition and all, but I'd like to try to be married before I get KUed. Just to see what that's like." She died laughing.

LedZeppelin · September 2010

np, your family tradition kind of sounds like Justin's. His mom was 20 when she had him and Justin's dad was 18. Justin's grandparents were around 18 when they had Justin's dad. My parents were both 32 when they had me.

My parents were concerned about how young we were when we got pregnant with Emerson, but couldn't give a rat's ass if we were married. Justin's mom on the other hand was the one suggesting we get married. (even though she was 9 months pregant with Justin when she married his bio father/asshole who abandoned them 2 years later. Yah, being married first makes everything better. whatev.)

kathrynhabibti · September 2010

[QUOTE]" I don't like going to showers for women who aren't married. Call me old-fashioned or a cold bitch. Sure the baby deserves to be loved but the mother deserves to handle her poor life choices with her own money." Posted by TheDuckis I read this on another board and had to ask.....Do you agree??
Posted by MISSCOURTNEY20[/QUOTE]
Blech. Disagree.

Anysunrise · September 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_can-believe-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:148c229f-1568-4ac3-b8d4-523f26e1e079Post:820c744a-a60c-4cd6-9e9f-27b6739ff380">Re: Can you believe this??</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Can you believe this?? : Here's my main problem, people abuse the ER. You wonder why you go to an ER and have to wait hours to be seen? It's because people take their children to the ER for everything . I'm sorry but a small fever that's lasted for two hours does not warrant a hospital visit, nor does a headache, nor does a sore thoat, etc. Children's Tylenol will take care of all of that. An emergency room is for just that: EMERGENCIES. If it's persistent, then maybe, but other than that, nope. Then people complain that they've been in the waiting room for 3 hours but that happens because people with real problems are given priority, as they should be, think car accident or broken bone. ::steps off soapbox::
Posted by JennaV26[/QUOTE]

This x100.

JenGin74 · September 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_can-believe-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:148c229f-1568-4ac3-b8d4-523f26e1e079Post:a12f4a8c-0862-4cea-a12d-fc6d87670991">Re: Can you believe this??</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Can you believe this?? : Have I told you lately that I love you? As for th ER, I think my son has been to the ER a total of 3 times in his life.
Posted by kd.joseph[/QUOTE]

Me love you long time, too <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-kiss.gif" border="0" alt="Kiss" title="Kiss" />

kd.joseph · September 2010

HA!

TMI alert, I was on my TOM the other day, and DH asked if all the rides were down. I'm sorry but all I picture now is me biting into a plastic bottle of "blood".

vegasgroom · September 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_can-believe-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:148c229f-1568-4ac3-b8d4-523f26e1e079Post:55cc1fb1-d08d-4c0f-bcae-67aa841c4226">Re: Can you believe this??</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Can you believe this?? : I disagree with some of this. I don't have any problem with the way MissCourtney went about things (and I'm not a huge fan of welfare). She used the help to finish her education and now she's paying taxes just like everyone else so someone else can (hopefully) do the same. I think Courtney is a great example of how welfare SHOULD work.
Posted by JenGin74[/QUOTE]

No, she used the 'help' (of other tax payers, involuntarily) to pay for her kid and school because of when she choose to have a kid and the fact that she could not handle a kid, school and a full time job; she did not use the 'help' to finish her education because she could have done that simply by waiting to have a kid and working her way through. Her life choice was paid for by tax money basically and that's why I don't agree with that use of the welfare system; I feel it is there to help people who were working and contributing and then lost their job through no fault, or choice, of their own which results in them needing help to see them through until they have a new job; I don't think it's for people who would rather have tax money give them side income so they can have a kid before finishing school with no obligation to pay it back.

That kind of help would be socialized higher education. Again, my disagreement to that use of welfare stlill should be prefaced with the fact that I do think the outcome was for the best in the long run, however, using the logic of that being a good use of welfare would be like suggesting to any early 20 something that hey, why wait until you're done with school to have a family, you could just quit your job, get pregnant and then welfare will pay you to finish school.

vegasgroom · September 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_can-believe-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:148c229f-1568-4ac3-b8d4-523f26e1e079Post:3b8f2428-89d6-4eb2-8bfc-0e23540fcdaa">Re: Can you believe this??</a>:
[QUOTE]HA! TMI alert, I was on my TOM the other day, and DH asked if all the rides were down. I'm sorry but all I picture now is me biting into a plastic bottle of "blood".
Posted by kd.joseph[/QUOTE]

I asked FI if all the rides were down last month after I saw you mention that phrase LOL.

vegasgroom · September 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_can-believe-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:148c229f-1568-4ac3-b8d4-523f26e1e079Post:820c744a-a60c-4cd6-9e9f-27b6739ff380">Re: Can you believe this??</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Can you believe this?? : Here's my main problem, people abuse the ER. You wonder why you go to an ER and have to wait hours to be seen? It's because people take their children to the ER for everything . I'm sorry but a small fever that's lasted for two hours does not warrant a hospital visit, nor does a headache, nor does a sore thoat, etc. Children's Tylenol will take care of all of that. An emergency room is for just that: EMERGENCIES. If it's persistent, then maybe, but other than that, nope. Then people complain that they've been in the waiting room for 3 hours but that happens because people with real problems are given priority, as they should be, think car accident or broken bone. ::steps off soapbox::
Posted by JennaV26[/QUOTE]

And drug chasers; ER's are inhabited by people addicted to prescription meds waiting in line to give the ER doc their 30 second show to prove they have chest pain and need narcotics. Here in Florida its ridiculous because there's a pain clinic on every corner and no central system for docs to know who already prescribed someone something, so they hit up the pain clinics during the day and the ER's at night.

JenGin74 · September 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_can-believe-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:148c229f-1568-4ac3-b8d4-523f26e1e079Post:de027b09-c87b-4d28-af17-f079c35bc8ae">Re: Can you believe this??</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Can you believe this?? : No, she used the 'help' (of other tax payers, involuntarily) to pay for her kid and school because of when she choose to have a kid and the fact that she could not handle a kid, school and a full time job; she did not use the 'help' to finish her education because she could have done that simply by waiting to have a kid and working her way through. Her life choice was paid for by tax money basically and that's why I don't agree with that use of the welfare system; I feel it is there to help people who were working and contributing and then lost their job through no fault, or choice, of their own Yup, that's what unemployment is for which results in them needing help to see them through until they have a new job; I don't think it's for people who would rather have tax money give them side income so they can have a kid before finishing school with no obligation to pay it back. That kind of help would be socialized higher education. Again, my disagreement to that use of welfare stlill should be prefaced with the fact that I do think the outcome was for the best in the long run, however, using the logic of that being a good use of welfare would be like suggesting to any early 20 something that hey, why wait until you're done with school to have a family, you could just quit your job, get pregnant and then welfare will pay you to finish school. I won't presume to speak for Courtney, but I'm sure that wasn't her big plan. It's like you're twisting my thought to suit your argument. 
Posted by vegasgroom[/QUOTE]

kd.joseph · September 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_can-believe-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:148c229f-1568-4ac3-b8d4-523f26e1e079Post:de027b09-c87b-4d28-af17-f079c35bc8ae">Re: Can you believe this??</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Can you believe this?? : No, she used the 'help' (of other tax payers, involuntarily) to pay for her kid and school because of when she choose to have a kid and the fact that she could not handle a kid, school and a full time job; she did not use the 'help' to finish her education because she could have done that simply by waiting to have a kid and working her way through. Her life choice was paid for by tax money basically and that's why I don't agree with that use of the welfare system; I feel it is there to help people who were working and contributing and then lost their job through no fault, or choice, of their own which results in them needing help to see them through until they have a new job; I don't think it's for people who would rather have tax money give them side income so they can have a kid before finishing school with no obligation to pay it back. That kind of help would be socialized higher education. Again, my disagreement to that use of welfare stlill should be prefaced with the fact that I do think the outcome was for the best in the long run, however, using the logic of that being a good use of welfare would be like suggesting to any early 20 something that hey, why wait until you're done with school to have a family, you could just quit your job, get pregnant and then welfare will pay you to finish school.
Posted by vegasgroom[/QUOTE]

Ok with this logic are you waiting to have sex before marriage?
I only ask because, it took two people to have sex. And we all know most people aren't waiting, and BC is not 100%, SO in your world do all women that get pregnant supposed to have abortions, or just get along the best they can, which a lot of us did.
And just so you know most women on welfare that get CS, their checks go to welfare as long as they are receiving it.

I only was on welfare while I couldnt work, due to being on maternity leave. Then I had assistance for child care, and I didnt abuse the ER.

ETA: My ex had a vasectomy, and I still have a son, so yeah he defiantly wasn't planned.

JenGin74 · September 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_can-believe-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:148c229f-1568-4ac3-b8d4-523f26e1e079Post:fb98cd48-0c96-49ae-af58-0b65087051fe">Re: Can you believe this??</a>:
[QUOTE]So what are all the job programs through the welfare/unemployment office for? To better someones life to care of their family. And what about grants? There are plenty of people in college on grants.
Posted by kd.joseph[/QUOTE]

Ditto this.

Edit: I really do find it freaky how we seem to share a brain

kd.joseph · September 2010

I forgot to tell you the doctor called, the surgery went fine!

JenGin74 · September 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_can-believe-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:148c229f-1568-4ac3-b8d4-523f26e1e079Post:4ead2207-e47e-4806-a0d3-233c48c68c84">Re: Can you believe this??</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Can you believe this?? : Um, the job programs are to help the people who are in actual need of welfare get back on their feet. And grants are a totally different dog. Grants are to allow people who could not otherwise afford college the ability to go. They don't give grants to students who have the ability to pay for their education on their own. So, yeah, it still stands to reason that giving welfare to someone who has the ability to support their family on their own but is choosing not to is bad.
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

But doesn't that kind of contradict the thought that higher education is a privilege and not a right?

vegasgroom · September 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_can-believe-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:148c229f-1568-4ac3-b8d4-523f26e1e079Post:0b505f60-d936-4420-8cf0-96b413f55755">Re: Can you believe this??</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Can you believe this?? :

Ok with this logic are you waiting to have sex before marriage? I only ask because, it took two people to have sex. And we all know most people aren't waiting, and BC is not 100%, SO in your world do all women that get pregnant supposed to have abortions, or just get along the best they can, which a lot of us did. And just so you know most women on welfare that get CS, their checks go to welfare as long as they are receiving it. I only was on welfare while I couldnt work, due to being on maternity leave. Then I had assistance for child care, and I didnt abuse the ER. ETA: My ex had a vasectomy, and I still have a son, so yeah he defiantly wasn't planned.
Posted by kd.joseph[/QUOTE]

I'm not waiting now because having a pregnancy, planned or not, would not be a financial issue for me, it would just be inopportune since we'd obviously like to be married first, so we're taking reasonable steps to ensure that happens. I was also not waiting in my late 20's when I also would have been able to afford a kid, even though it sure as hell would have been unplanned at that point in my life.

Continuing on, of course I won't lie and say I waited until I was financially secure to have sex, who does, however, I've always worked to get what I've wanted whether it was flyering houses for a pizza place when I was 12 so I could buy a bike or working full time as a student to get through college in five and a half years instead of four because I couldn't handle more than 13 credit hours/semester with a 50 hour/week job. If I had ended up with an unplanned pregnancy during those years, I probably would have taken 'free' welfare if I had known I could have money for not doing anything, who wouldn't, but if that free money had not been available, then it would have meant me and baby mama would have to figure something out and if that meant it took me 8 years to finish my degree because I had to cut back further, so be it, my life choice got me in that mess, why should me of today have to pay for me of yesteryear's choice?

kd.joseph · September 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_can-believe-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:148c229f-1568-4ac3-b8d4-523f26e1e079Post:4ead2207-e47e-4806-a0d3-233c48c68c84">Re: Can you believe this??</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Can you believe this?? : Um, the job programs are to help the people who are in actual need of welfare get back on their feet. And grants are a totally different dog. Grants are to allow people who could not otherwise afford college the ability to go. They don't give grants to students who have the ability to pay for their education on their own. So, yeah, it still stands to reason that giving welfare to someone who has the ability to support their family on their own but is choosing not to is bad.
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

But that's the subject. She wasn't able to support her child on her salary, so she went to school also. And considering the circumstances I'm sure she had grants. Which she used to graduate and get a better job and get off welfare.

I'm well aware what grants are for, but there are plenty of programs for people on welfare that go through job programs because they lack the education to work and support themselves.

jojobrn · September 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_can-believe-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:148c229f-1568-4ac3-b8d4-523f26e1e079Post:1b1ca07e-0d61-402f-aa7b-b3ad8bfef2fa">Re: Can you believe this??</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Can you believe this?? : But doesn't that kind of contradict the thought that higher education is a privilege and not a right?
Posted by JenGin74[/QUOTE]

<div>If grants even came close to covering the entire cost of college, then yes. But my grants for my undergrad didn't, so I took loans out. Same for my post grad. And despite the belief here that birth control fails, I am 31 and still never, ever pregnant. Sexually active since I was 19. It's called being accountable for your actions. </div>

Anysunrise · September 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_can-believe-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:148c229f-1568-4ac3-b8d4-523f26e1e079Post:0aac6fe1-0b07-46b4-a701-00be658b30b6">Re: Can you believe this??</a>:
[QUOTE]Sorry, but I'm with VegasGroom on the welfare thing. I think when you are working full time, or working whatever you can and pursuing full-time work and can't make ends meet, that's one thing. But higher education is a PRIVILEDGE not a RIGHT, and certainly not a necessity. Misscourtney said herself that she could have been working full time and likely supporting her own family, but she chose not to. That is NOT what the system is designed for. That is abuse of the system.
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

Personally, I think it should be a right.

Can you believe this??

Re: Can you believe this??

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