Need some advice BM issues

Celticrebelgirl · February 2012

Ok so...im in a pickle again...I had a long talk with my MOH today and she said some things that ring very true with my one BM and even my mom agrees...so Im stuck.

My bro's gf is one of my bridesmaids...she has been wishy washy the past yr but we had a heart to heart last month and she was on board. Well all my girls have ordered their dresses but her...and DB doesnt start making the dresses of a bridal party till ALL orders are in to prevent color swatch changes etc...hence...an issue if she keeps holding off...now this is a major issue because my brother got into a car wreck 2 weeks ago and has been getting run over by the insurance of the person who caused it. He had to foot rental car out of his own pocket and storing his car at towyard...which I completly understand and really hate...

But this is really causing stress and strain on me because he is the one paying for her dress (her parents wont)..and I already told them Im willing to pay $40 towards it so that plus my $20 off coupon brings it down to $80 plus tax...alot better then $130 dress. But I refuse to and shouldnt be expected to pay for the whole dress when I will NOT get paid back for it and just because I have my income tax doesnt mean it isnt already spent

Arghhh

What would you do?? Im afraid to text/call him and really cause ww3 but I know I need to..just want some advice I guess..

classykat22 · February 2012

Hrm...I would call him over a text and just let him know that you realize he has a lot going on right now and you don't want to add to his situation but...the deadline for ordering the dresses in time for the wedding is rapidly approaching. If you are ok with one less person in your bridal party, maybe even say something like, "because you are dealing with so much right now, please know that if (insert gf name here) would rather just attend as a guest, we are absolutely supportive of that if it makes things less stressful for you right now." If he is insistant that she still wants to be a part of the wedding, then I would just tell him you need to have her order the dress no later than (deadline date) or you will have to order the others without hers. Make sure he knows that she can't order after the fact because DB won't process dress orders that way. He probably won't even know that they are holding the other dresses for order until hers is taken care of. It's a tough spot you have been put in but I think since it's your brother, you should be able to explain things in a way that won't make him mad or hurt his gf feelings. GL and please keep us posted!

MsAmeera25 · February 2012

Hmmmm honestly I would not stress too much about it. The first part of what you said in terms of DB not ordering the dresses till each order is placed is not true. They tell you that to give you a sense of urgency. The girls who are ready now can place their order.

If money is the issue I would call the local David's Bridal where she is and see if they have her size and color in store and she can place it on layaway.

If that isn't an option give her a 2 week deadline and if she doesnt't meet it then she is no longer in the wedding.

I don't think you should pay for her dress.

toothpastechica · February 2012

I agree and disagree with the above post....try and see if they have one in stock, and order the other dresses, if they dont have one maybe she CAN add hers on seperatly after the fact because if its a tiny bit different color who cares. If you really want her in your wedding given the cirmcumstances it sounds like you will need to foot the dress, if you are ok with her not being in the wedding, then tell her she has till x day to order with the other girls, otherwise shes welcome to be in it if she can find a way to get the dress in time. If you have given her a deadline its not longer your responsibility. end of story, if it doesnt come because she ordered late, then shes not standing up for you...harsh...yes, but I really do think its fair.

dori851 · February 2012

All of my girls placed their orders at different times, & DB didn't make it an issue at all. I think your BMs can go ahead & order their dresses, even if your one BM isn't ready to yet (or can't afford it).

About her not being able to pay for it, I wouldn't worry so much about that. If it were me, I would say if she doesn't have her dress for the wedding, she won't be in it, simple as that! I know it might be easier said than done, but it's not fair for you to stress over these situations if you don't have to

GL! And I hope your brother is on the mend!

PeteandJen · February 2012

My girls all ordered from DB, at different times and they all got their dresses at different times. Plenty of girls order from all over the country and they don't have issues with them being ordered at the same time. I think you have some incorrect information. Honestly, the dresses took a month to come in and they told us April 6th, so I wouldn't worry about it yet. Give the deadline, but I think you have more flexibility until your brother is back on his feet financially.

FutureMrsSheeler · February 2012

I agree and know first hand that my girls placed different orders at different times and it was just fine, so let your other girls place their orders, and hopefully your brother's gf can get it paid for soon.

Celticrebelgirl · February 2012

Well the other girls have all ordered theirs so she is the only one who hasnt..I asked him last night and he said he might be able to this weekend..otherwise it would be his next pay check which is in 2 weeks..end of month..so we shall see...

As far as the whole fabric thing..just saying what an employee told me that my mom is neighbors with...dunno if its true or not but still its 3 months away plus alterrations...eek lol

Thanks everyone...I guess I just needed to vent...she posted on fb today about being a controling nagging gf so who knows..they havin issues yet again...its just a sad messed up situation but Im not the type to back out of asking someone to be a bridesmaid

Need some advice BM issues

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