Church

brad1431 · August 2009

How much is everyone's "donation" to their church for their wedding? Ours seems to be high and they sent us a booklet of things that we could not do. I kind of have a problem paying this much for a church, and they tell me what I cant do. It is supposed to work the other way around. I pay you, I tell you what to do, you pay me you tell me what to do.

cvl105 · August 2009

it's a church Brad...it's not like every other typical vendor you pay. To me, I think it's an honor to be married in the church, not a right. That being said, sometimes I do think the "donation" is too much. I think ours is currently $150, but the priest mentioned they were upping it to $200, which I don't think is bad.

jen629 · August 2009

Mine was $250

kathymarie · August 2009

$350. the great thing about living in America is that you dont have to get married in that church if you dont want to.

brad1431 · August 2009

$250 would be a bargain, we were told the reduced partitioner rate is $750

kathymarie · August 2009

MH's partner got married in a church that required $1,000. I agree, $750 is high

cvl105 · August 2009

holy crap brad...are you going to the vatican?! lol What church is this?

jen629 · August 2009

at my church non members is $350 i think

I <3 Seabass · August 2009

Just to put thing in perspective, a receptions hall can charge around $12 pp for the ceremony space. So for a 150 person wedding you're looking at $1800. So you're actually getting a great deal.

brad1431 · August 2009

non members is $1100, and there is a laudry list of cant do's, we have to see if there is any flexibility, some make sense, like no throwing stuff outside, but some are less reasonable, no unity candle, no flowers to virgin mary, no isle runner, flower girl cant throw flowers, no decorations of any kind on isles. My FI said they basically wrote that doing candles, or flowers to virgin mary, are obnoxious AWish things that bride's do, that have nothing to do with the sacrament, that all that matters are your voxs and the rings. It sounded odd, I have to read it myself.

kathymarie · August 2009

well, the unity candle is actually NOT a part of the catholic ceremony, traditionally.

brad1431 · August 2009

I just keep thinking that charging that much isnt a very christian thing to do. I would love to call and ask what I get for my money, and ask why it is so high.

brad1431 · August 2009

I think they said we can do unity candle at rehearsal, but we difinately want a memorial candle.

I <3 Seabass · August 2009

The church has bills to pay too.

DMLJ · August 2009

Every church is different based on how "liberal" the parish is. Unity Candle is not part of a Catholic Cermony nor is Flowers to Mary... as a matter of fact, paying your devotion to mary is supposed to be done privately after mass, not in front of all your friends and family during a service. I think what the church is trying to say is that most people do these two traditions without even thinking about why they are doing them.... basically just for a picture. If they are important to you, then I would find another church. BTW, we are doing the unity candle and flowers to mary. Church charges 250$.

Kelly&Timothy · August 2009

a church is a holy place/ house of worship. they can choose any rules they want (and have done so for thousands of years)mine is $400.

dianenjnj · August 2009

if you are not a parishoner you pay more...the church has to pay its bills too, parishoners get to pay less because they support the church all the time not only when they need a backdrop for their wedding.if you can't afford it or don't want to pay find someplace else.

melissa82 · August 2009

Does your "donation" include everything? Or do you still need to pay for the priest, organist, etc.Ours is:$500 for church$200 for priest$100 for vocalist$200 for organistSo yeah...$1k. But if we had to book an officiant and hire musicians/vocalists for the reception hall, we'd be getting close to that, too, so it's not a huge difference to me.We also can't throw stuff outside, no aisle runner, no flowers on aisle...all ins liability for them.

cherylanddan0706 · August 2009

I'm not at a church but I am paying a less than you for my reception at my venue...but more than kathy and jen.

DMLJ · August 2009

good call... does it include the singer and organist... at my church that fee is 500.... so combined it is 750.

Jaytee501 · August 2009

"I kind of have a problem paying this much for a church..."Brad, and I'm a pretty mellow person so I don't mean this in a nasty way, but is there seriously something you truly don't have a "problem" paying for? :-/ I'm actually not chiming in out of some upset resulting from your well-known hatred of my venue

I'm just asking!

Lovemuffin1125 · August 2009

It is on the higher end, we paid around $450 but that included singer, organist etc. At the end of the day, they can charge whatever they want like a DJ or florist or whatever. If you don't like it, then shop around to another church.

laurenlacey · August 2009

The church is not accurate in saying flowers to the Virgin Mary is AWish. That's a very old Catholic tradition (not secular, catholic) to encourage the most important part of Catholic marriage (in the vatican's eyes of course)... fertility, and as "love for the mother of god". So they're incorrect. The unity candle IS secular, however, and something I never quite understood the point of. My church is $400 not including the priest's fee which is whatever we give him. $100, $200 maybe? I don't know depends on which priest does the marriage, the one I know or the one who is new.

DMLJ · August 2009

But the flower to the virgin Mary are not really supposed to occur during the mass- if you want to do it, it should happen privately afterward....... Im doing them during the mass, but technically it is not liturgically correct.

uppereastgirl · August 2009

Think of all the money you'll save by not doing all the AW stuff though Brad! I can agree with their reasoning there too. They don't want you to make a mess and then take off for the reception, they don't want you to trip on an aisle runner and sue, and they don't want you to make a mockery of the sacrament. Our church had most of those rules too, and we opted out of the other stuff (flowers to Mary, unity candle)-- I wanted as basic as we could be$750 sounds high. Is it tax deductible? I forget.

uppereastgirl · August 2009

oh, and forgot to add... I'm pretty sure you'll be going to hell for feeling that way about giving a church money

mscutieri · August 2009

My church is $850. Along with that we also have a huge list of things we can't do - no aisle runner, nothing hanging on the doors, no candles, no animal relasing, nothing throw on the stairs outside, no champagne toast outside of on the sidewalk (law of our town). I believe there are more things on that list, I just don't remember off the top of my head. The way I figure, this is not a vendor in which I can negotiate down and this is really not a place where I can afford to "break rules". It is a 30 minute ceremony and the inside of the church is already beautiful, so why fight it?

Rosie24 · August 2009

You don't have to get married in a church...get married at the venue. Either way the ceremony isn't going to be performed for free. You spend xx of thousands of dollars on a wedding yet you are complaining about paying a few hundred for the actual sacrament of marriage. Trust me, I wish my church was cheaper but this is the one thing I would feel ashamed complaining about considering the price tag of my wedding.