Hypenating Last Name After Marriage Debate!

pigleta18 · September 2012

Hi fellow Knotties,

I'm in a debating (with myself) over what to do with my last name after fiancee and I marry next month. I thought about hypenating my last name with his. Part is professional reasons, part is I don't want to have to give my name up! It's one of those, not everything has to change because we are married mentalities. My last name is very simple, 4 letters and he has a very French, hard to pronounce last name that no one can seem to every pronounce correctly. So then I got to thinking after reading about hypenating last names to changing my name legally to his last name but professionally hypenating my last name. Can that even be done?

ElleB87 · September 2012

Most employers require you use your legal name in the office to avoid confusion with payroll/taxation/etc...unless you're an author who uses a pen name.

I did not change my name legally (for professional reasons and my last name is deeply tied to my heritage and is of great importance to me) but I go by my H's last name socially.

6fsn · September 2012

It's ultimately up to you what people call you. There are various reasons to keep your maiden name or hyphenate or change it. That said, hyphenating will not eliminate the problem of not being able to pronounce the french name. I've also noticed that when people hyphenate the maiden name still tends to get dropped.

StephBeanWed61502 · September 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_hypenating-last-name-after-marriage-debate?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:d98ebfe2-5585-441a-ba99-f943b169b5b5Post:e74af7d8-a343-4e3d-8b5f-3a16818af5c1">Re: Hypenating Last Name After Marriage Debate!</a>:
[QUOTE]Most employers require you use your legal name in the office to avoid confusion with payroll/taxation/etc...unless you're an author who uses a pen name. I did not change my name legally (for professional reasons and my last name is deeply tied to my heritage and is of great importance to me) but I go by my H's last name socially.
Posted by ElleB87[/QUOTE]

<div>Ditto this. Also, depending on your profession, you may not be allowed to use a last name professionally that is different from your legal last name. My understanding is that licensed professionals - real estate brokers, attorneys, doctors, etc. - are generally required to practice their profession using only the name that is on their license, which would be your legal name.</div>

dharmabunny · September 2012

If you do a hyphen name, keep in mind that the name is going to get mangled, modified in all sorts of odd ways. If you are the kind of person that gets an absolute snit over your name not being EXACTLY the way you want it, then avoid the hyphen name. Also note that some entities, lenders being one example that comes to mind, will not allow a name change at all for any reason without a court order. Licensure could be the same way. But one thing I've found is that your "legal" last name counts for less than you think. There are far more reliable and unique identifiers than last name being used, entities like banks and credit reporting will maintain a list of all names under a unique identifier. The trick is knowing what names have to match exactly

VarunaTT · September 2012

After working in a medical office, I'll tell you that hyphenated last names get messed up all the time. Also, some programs in this day and age still won't take a hyphen, as crazy as that seems.

If you don't want to take his last name legally, don't. I didn't. Since socially we all usually go by first names, it's rare that I've even heard Mrs. DH'sLastName socially. Last time it even came up was for a wedding invitation address and frankly, after handwriting all of my addresses, I'm fine with them only putting Mr. and Mrs. DH Name, b/c writing out 2 different names and address blows.

ReturnOfKuus · September 2012

If you don't want to change your name, then you don't have to change it at all. Why all the mental gymnastics when you clearly just want to leave your name as-is?

DG1 · September 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_hypenating-last-name-after-marriage-debate?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:d98ebfe2-5585-441a-ba99-f943b169b5b5Post:e74af7d8-a343-4e3d-8b5f-3a16818af5c1">Re: Hypenating Last Name After Marriage Debate!</a>:
[QUOTE]Most employers require you use your legal name in the office to avoid confusion with payroll/taxation/etc...unless you're an author who uses a pen name. I did not change my name legally (for professional reasons and my last name is deeply tied to my heritage and is of great importance to me) but I go by my H's last name socially.
Posted by ElleB87[/QUOTE]

<div>This. I was going to go by first.maiden.married at work, but the stupid email system was tied to the stupid payroll system, so my email ended up being first.married@company.com anyway. I was (and still am, almost 7 years later) pissed. </div><div>
</div><div>If you want to keep your name, KEEP IT! I ignored that nagging little voice and have never stopped regretting it. I don't stress over it every day or anything, but I still wish I hadn't changed it.</div>

*Barbie* · September 2012

i changed mine, but kept my maiden name as my middle name.

I thought it would be less confusing if everyone in our family had the same last name (e.g. us and any kids we had) - and both names were equally long/hard to pronounce. There was no way I was going to hyphenate a 7 letter and an 8 letter name, neither of which was easily pronounced.

Hypenating Last Name After Marriage Debate!

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