P&amp;E opinions-Effin long

mwhitson14 · August 2009

Vally, I feel that the job will be there. It's a full time position at the library I'm at right now. They want to hire me full time right now if I wasn't student teaching, and I met with the board and they told me if I can't find a teaching job in January, they want to hire me full time.

elizabethspearl · August 2009

That's terrible. If FI asked me to push back our wedding when we were two months out, I would be devastated. Why can't you just stay with his parents until you start working full time? Won't your parents lose money/deposits if you push back the wedding this close to the date?

SwedishChick2011 · August 2009

His parents have offered us their place til December, that's the solution I'm trying to push.Yes, do this! It's only a couple months.

katiewhompus · August 2009

Honestly, I'd say consider living with parents or taking his parents up on his offer rather than pushing the wedding back. I lived with my ex's grandmother for 8 months, and that was a crazy sh*tty situation. It can be done though and it would only be for a couple months. Or you could just stay living with your parents for the couple of months even after married.Dh and I might be looking at doing that now if our house hunting doesn't get positive really quickly. As much as we would hate it living with either of our parents again(and right now it might be him/dog with his parents and me/cat with mine which would SUCK) it might be the only option for a couple of months.

mwhitson14 · August 2009

fishy, that's correct. We have no living expenses at all right now, except FI occasionally helps out his parents pay their bills.

vallyhoo · August 2009

Okay, that's cool about the job thing. I haven't followed everything else entirely, but I think I am for pushing things back if it will make your lives easier. We are thinking about changing our date to March 20th so we are potential date twins.

agk0125 · August 2009

His parents have offered us their place til December, that's the solution I'm trying to push.Do this. I know it's not ideal, but I think it makes the most sense.

georgia_bride09 · August 2009

I would NOT move the wedding. I also would NOT move out until you have a full-time job. Since there's only a two-month window between your wedding and your new job, DEFINITELY push living at his parents until then. It will fly by.

Night_Sprite · August 2009

Just stay with the parents until December and if you get monetary presents you can adjust to an apartment at that point.

mwhitson14 · August 2009

Good thoughts guys, I just texted him and said, let's move in with your parents, if we get a lot of cash for the wedding maybe we can move in sooner.

mwhitson14 · August 2009

move out*

twinkie757 · August 2009

tide- Quitting student teaching is the equivalent of dropping out of college with one semester left. It is a requirement for educators in order to receive their teaching degree. How is this a smart choice?

agk0125 · August 2009

Did he text back yet?! What did he say? What did he say?!?!

bel138 · August 2009

If you're still in school, shouldn't you be qualifying for student loans? Even if I lived at home during college, my parents would have made me get loans to contribute to food and utilities. I mean, if you're barely scraping by on your bills now (what bills, I can't imagine, since it seems you aren't paying for any living expenses) wouldn't it have been a good idea to get some student loans in the first place?I'm not saying get student loans to pay for the wedding. I'm saying get student loans so you can eat and pay for electricity. Like a lot of other people do.

georgia_bride09 · August 2009

Good plan, whit!!! OR just save all the wedding money until December and have a fluffier savings account when you do move out.

Calypso1977 · August 2009

i guess my general confusion is why you two even set a wedding date during a time that you knew you'd still be in school and student teaching and living at home with your parents if neither one of you has the means to live out on your own.that said, i'd just live iwth your parents after your married. its not ideal, but it seems silly to move the wedding at this point.

Bubbalub · August 2009

<i>His parents have offered us their place til December, that's the solution I'm trying to push.</i>Yes, I would suggest this solution. It is temporary and financially responsible while allowing you to continue with the wedding and job as planned. Since there is a fairly specific end date in sight for the financial struggles (when you start working full time and get your first full paycheck) then you will be able to plan accordingly. Also I would suggest, if you haven't done this already, sitting down and looking at/making a list of your current expenses and your future expenses, along with your paycheck amounts and a timeline. Sean and I recently did this and it was a real eye-opener and allowed us to plan accordingly and cut back where we could when I started paying back my student loans last month.

sme168 · August 2009

I advice not to take out a student loan just to eat and pay bills, especially since right now you eat for free and have enough to cover your own bills. I did this, and looking back, it was not the smartest thing in the world since interest has a way of adding up. :-)I would stick to your date in October (you only have two more months to go), move in with his parents and move out Jan/Feb after you've had time to put money aside for a deposit on an appartment.

Bubbalub · August 2009

Jeebus the coding is driving me crazy. The "help" list here says to use <>, </>. Is this accurate or should they be [], [/]?

eastunder1 · August 2009

i guess my general confusion is why you two even set a wedding date during a time that you knew you'd still be in school and student teaching and living at home with your parents if neither one of you has the means to live out on your own.This. I think youre a darling, nice girl but your all's financial situation always seems to be completely FUBAR-ed. I get that your parents are paying all of it so its not really a financial burden, but dang it just seems like an awfully chaotic, untogether time to start a life together. Sort of cart-before-the-horse.

janedoe1113a · August 2009

I also agree that you should get married in October and just move in with his parents. Hopefully you'll get enough money from the wedding where you can move out sooner.

betrothed123 · August 2009

Bubba,Posts use [] and sigs use <>. That could be where your confusion lies.

mwhitson14 · August 2009

I think you have it right but that only works on Safari, I think.He's basically just super against trying to live with his parents the first three months of being married.The reason we chose the date is because we thought we were going to be ok. It's just concerning him (not me really, I've looked at our bills and expenses and I think it will be fine) that we won't be able to afford it.

mwhitson14 · August 2009

East, I know, we just really thought it was going to be ok.

vallyhoo · August 2009

I think I can see why this is concerning your FI, because you have looked at all your expected expenses, but what if something comes up that is unforeseen? Like needing another car repair, these are all things that can come up unexpectedly and if money is tight, it always compounds the problem.

BecW2be · August 2009

And it WILL be ok. I promise. I'd go ahead and get married, and live with his parents, if they are offering. In a year it won't matter. You have this entire day planned and paid for. Do it!

agk0125 · August 2009

i guess my general confusion is why you two even set a wedding date during a time that you knew you'd still be in school and student teaching and living at home with your parents if neither one of you has the means to live out on your own.Well personally think during the student teaching semester is a good time to get married since it's not a REAL job at that point. Once she's out of school there will be a lot more stress of finding and having a job, so why not just get the wedding out of the way before all that?I get the impression that they are both living at home as a means to save money until they can move in together as a married couple. I don't think they ever wanted to live together before marriage even if it was financially feasible (I could be wrong, but that's my impression). I think maybe they're just falling short of what they thought they could save and afford, which can happen to anyone.

Bubbalub · August 2009

Thanks, Betrothed. That clears it up for me.Whit, would either set of parents be able to help out financially if something unexpected came up between now and Jan/Feb? My parents still sometimes help out financially if something happens and we set up a payment schedule to pay them back over time.

pumpkinpumpkin · August 2009

I'm personally still stuck on the RSVP counter in the sig. You haven't invited guests...even if they are RSVPing online, how do they know they're invited?

scoetto · August 2009

Hello, there. From what I can tell, he's hell bent about getting married now, correct? Is there anything you can do/say to get him to change his mind to marry in Oct instead of March?