Wedding Etiquette Forum

S/O vegprincess & money??

If you paid for your own wedding, would you have accepted $100,000 for your wedding  from your parents, given that they can well afford it?NOT  $100,000 to do anything with.  JUST for your wedding.  Spend it on the wedding or it's gone.  No saving allowed.  use it or lose it.

Re: S/O vegprincess & money??

  • If they couldn't afford it, no way.  I'd negotiate and let them pay for something, since they obviously want to pay, but a more reasonable amount.
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  • Since my mother is my only living parent I'd have to say no. If she contributed she'd get say and there is NO WAY I'm letting her have say. If my dad were still alive I would have accepted from him in a heartbeat.
  • read it again sucrets
  • Wait, am I confused? I thought the question was based on parents being able to afford that amount.
  • yes, that's why I told sucrets to read it again. She's probably been drinking.  again
  • She's saying "parents are rich. They can afford $100K easily and will only give it to your for your wedding. Take it or not."
  • 100K and I can ONLY use it on the wedding?Now here's a question: is this the ONLY way I'd be able to pay for the wedding? Like if my parents were offering the 100k, I'm in a universe where FI and I would have no other means to have any kind of wedding?Unless there was no other way for me to have wedding that wasn't JOP, I think I'd actually turn it down ... that kind of money for just for that just seems like a disgusting waste.

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  • Yeah... I'm confused about why my sn is in here.  Anyway, I'm not sure how anyone could actually spend that much money... you'd really have to try to waste it.  That would just be a ridiculous thing to do.
  • Is it all or nothing? I'd take $20K graciously and get the ferris wheel for the reception!
  • Sorry!  Reading comprehension fail.Shiit, I don't think I could spend 100k on a wedding.  I'm sure I could, but I just don't think that my dream wedding would be that much.  I loved my wedding and wouldn't have changed much.I haven't been drinking!  Unless you count my homemade chocolate milkshake.  But it's a school night and I need to stay sober, lol.
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  • I would have the wedding in Tahiti and fly in all my guests. That'd eat it up pretty quick.
  • Not at all.  If my parents have 100 grand just sitting around I would much rather they use it on themselves.
  • It's so hard to imagine a world where my parents have $100k just lying around, and even harder to imagine a world where they'd offer that money to me for a wedding.  But if they had it, and offered it, hell yes I'd take it!  It'd be a very different wedding from the one I'm having now, but for 100k, I could hire someone to plan the whole thing.
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  • I would, and save my own money.
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  • Yup yup. I'd rent out a wing of the Grand Wailea or Fairmont Kea Lani on Maui, put up any guests I wanted to invite, pay their way, food, transportation, keep them there for a week and give them spending money while they were there. We'd hae a kickas$ party for a week. Maybe I'd bring in the Beastie Boys to perform, and we'd rent out the Grande Spa at the Grand Wailea for the whole day before. I'd take it and I could *absolutely* spend it!
  • yes!  if my parents just had it lying around as extra...id totally take it.  but fwiw my parents are the kind of people that really get off on providing for me (and my brother) when they can...
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  • are we allowed to' just' take 50k. that's all i'd need.
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  • I wouldn't accept any money from my parents. I like that I have control because it's my dime.
  • Could you buy a house to hold your wedding in??? ; )Just joking, yes I would take it if they could afford it but I would buy stuff instead of hiring so I could sell it after the wedding so it didn't feel like I completely blew $100,000.
  • If I was sure they could afford it, I'd take it.
  • No way. I don't think I could have spent $100K if I tried. Well, I could have flown the entire guest list to Europe and gotten married on the ski slopes above St. Moritz, but that's not what we wanted.I would rather have my parents save that money for me to inherit later. ;-)
  • Does the honeymoon count as wedding?If my parents could drop $100K on my wedding, no problem, then money probably isn't an issue for my family, so I probably wouldn't think twice about taking it.  ;)  In that theoretical situation, I'd probably have a much bigger DW and cover everyone's travel and accommodations.  That would eat up the money pretty quickly.
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  • Hells yes I would take it if they could well afford it. Then we could save our own money for a house. Not having to nickel and dime everything would be such a stress relief.However I do not live in that fantasy universe and that amount of money IRL belongs in my parents' retirement funds.
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  • little late.  But yes.   My parents would rather give us the money down and watch us enjoy it then wait till they die.My parents have always taken care of their retirement before ANYTHING else. Period. Not kidding.  So if they are offering money that means they have it to give.   They are not the type to give money way if their future is in trouble (or even thought it might be in trouble.).  They are just not that risky with their money. 






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
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